posted
some time ago i asked for prayers because i had this stomach issue that wouldnt go away.. well i still have it and its been a bad week for me. i the past 4 months my life has been simply falling apart. financially im a mess.. my job is suffering from the stress im under. My wife seems to be pulling away cant get her to hold me kiss me or anything.Im so hurt inside I feel like i could die. of all the people i could depend on it was her and now I feel so alone . sometimes i feel like she is in love with another. It hurts so bad, I am at counseling and trying to get her to a marriage conseler , I dont know what i did that could justify the response . I am loosing weight feel emtiness in my stomach all the time. It hurts I love her so much and im in tears all the time.just want her to hold me, . I know i have to push thogh this, people are saying that you have two little girls to worry about and its not about you anymore, But I am afraid of loosing the love of my life and im not doing well. I went thoght one divorse a long time ago, cant do two. I need her back guys. need her love once more. every day feels like im dieing a little more inside. so prayers please I love my wife patty and kids with all my soul.. they say god wont give you what you cant handle, mabye but i feel im going down fast, thank you Chris
Posts: 184 | From: Upstate New York | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Wish there was something magical to say or write... but there isn't.
What you describe sounds like a living hell. How we individually deal with medical issues and problems cannot be judged by others outside the situation.
Sometimes, we make our own hell and you know that. How we interpret our circumstances seems as varied as those who are challenged. I see some smile thru everything that hits them and wonder, "how?"
You've said nothing about medical opinions on what's up with your guts? I had a friend in MT who had Giradias (?) (beaver fever) and was in your similar "sounding" shoes...
I read your words over... I see "I" in a lot of sentences... and "can't" and "need".
You've set some high bar hurdles there about what others will or won't do and whether you can or cannot exist.
I'm no counselor, but it seems that surely points to YOU wanting to have things go a specific way and at times, we must "surrender" 100% to His Will and just ask for strength, not for our problems to be within our coping but coping to endure our challenges.
That was a lot easier for me to type than it is for ME to live...so I truly do not mean that in anyway condescending or mean...Surrender to Him is the hardest thing in life...
Fear is a terrible task master...fear of losing a loved one, wife, divorce, death... when it involves another person's choices, all we do by focusing on OUR fear is to create 'desperation' in ourselves and our interactions with those closest to us. Desperation smells and the stink clings to everything... and drives people away.
There is nothing to fear but FEAR itself!
Go with God, Friend. May you find healing and peace!
Keep the Son in your eyes and His Will your goal.
-------------------- The words "Child" and "terminal illness" should never share the same sentence! Those who care-do, others question!
TGMM Family of the Bow Sasquatch 60" T/D, R/D LB Posts: 11109 | From: L@ncaster County, PA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Amen to Doc and prayers for God's best. If your Dr isn't helping you then get a second opinion. Get rid of the source of the pain and you'll feel better emotionally too. If you keep pushing your wife to love you maybe you're missing the point that she does love you but you're attitude keeps her at bay. Kind of like squeezing harder to try and keep butter from slipping out of your hand. Just doesn't work.
-------------------- Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. (NIV) Posts: 3576 | From: Sunny Rio Rancho, New Mexico | Registered: May 2004
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It sounds stupid but sometimes the more we try to get someone to love us the more we push them away. be yourself. Be a good Dad and a good Husband. Focus on your health and pray Patty will see the guy she fell in love with.
Love your wife unconditionally! do not expect anything in return. I think some of your hard feelings stems from how much effort you are putting into the marriage without the returns you are expecting.
Marriage counseling could help but she needs to want to do it as well.
I once heard a couple who was married 65 years at an interview. They asked how they managed to stay married for so long. their answer was:
Genesis 27:3 Now then, get your weapons--your quiver and bow--and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. >>>>------------> Schafer Silvertip 62@28 Schafer Silvertip 71@28 Posts: 1464 | From: Studley, Kansas | Registered: Oct 2010
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-------------------- Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out, with bible in hand and loudly proclaim...WOW...What a Ride!!! Posts: 2743 | From: Covington, Ga | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
I feel your pain brother... I married the first girl I ever kissed in the 9th grade and to this day I remember the pain I felt when she dumped me more than once in High School... God wired us all with a need to love and to be loved but the truth is as people we will fail each other 10 times out of 10 if given enough time... Our happiness, our worth, our importance needs to come from Jesus Himself and not from other people otherwise we are in for one rough ride... Marriage is not about love it's about commitment, the love will come and go but the commitment is the rock upon which we build a marriage that lasts... I have a spinal cord injury from a hunting accident 4yrs ago and my life was turned upside down inside out and then run through the grinder... I lost my job, my house and belive it or not a lot of my friends (because they just can't relate and my situation can be rather depressing)... I live with nerve pain that is unbearable, have compromised bowel and bladder functions and I am "completely" numb from mid chest to mid thigh... Because of the drugs to fight the pain I have had my pistol in my mouth more than once so I know first hand about not wanting to go on... For the first time in my life I have given everything and I mean everything over to Jesus Christ... I trust Him completely, I want for very little, I love unconditionally, life has forced me to lean in on Jesus for my very exhistance... I wake each morning feeling like the most blessed man alive... I'm nothing special what the Lord did for me He will do for you, but you will have to let Him... Praying for you and your wife my friend... PM back if you want to talk...
Thank you for your testament. It's something each of us needs to learn BEFORE we have a tragedy in our lives...sometimes, those tragedy's are life's END and we'd not get the chance to do what you've done--- Give it all to Him.
Prayers for you to continue in your blessed state of Grace.
Prayers continue for our friend Christopher too!
-------------------- The words "Child" and "terminal illness" should never share the same sentence! Those who care-do, others question!
TGMM Family of the Bow Sasquatch 60" T/D, R/D LB Posts: 11109 | From: L@ncaster County, PA | Registered: Mar 2003
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Chris, My thoughts and prayers are with you.
It is no magic pill, but after reading your post I immediately thought of the book "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen. If it were up to me, it would be required reading in high school. It's old, so the electronic version is free on Amazon and you can even download a free Kindle app on your computer so you can still read it for free if you can't find it at the library.
Read it, and when you're finished, read it again. It's unbelievably repetitive, but we humans need things beaten into our brains many times before it sticks.
God bless.
-------------------- "You will never have more joy in your life than you have discipline." - Matthew Kelly "You will never have more accuracy than you have concentration." - Me Posts: 60 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jun 2011
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I know i have to push thogh this (From your first post).
P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens my brother. And I will too.......Dusty
-------------------- 66" Shadowcast Longbow 58# @ 28" By Tree's Custom Bows. 60" FireFly take down Longbow 54# @ 28" By Mr. Jim Jones
Be the kind of man that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, He's up!" Posts: 484 | From: Columbia Louisiana | Registered: Nov 2009
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Thanks everyone your words and prayers help more than you know, with prayer and my friends and family beside me , things could never be better whatever plan he has , i will accept his will. I love my wife , and for me this love cannot be broken. thank you Chris
Posts: 184 | From: Upstate New York | Registered: May 2008
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There was a book I read long, long ago by Eric Fromm I believe... on the Art of Loving.
In that he suggested our view here in the Western world of "love" is more akin to trading baseball cards between kids...we give up something that threatens someone WE like and ask they do the same...and if we give up something, then we can say if it goes flooey, "Look at all I gave up!"
He suggested that TRUE LOVE is wanting happiness for the other person more than yourself.
Now there is a concept right out of the New Testament, eh?
One of those old "Confucius" sayings we bantered about as kids was " The only way to hold a butterfly is in an open palm"... and some other about a bird if it stays it's yours and if it flies, it wasn't anyway.
Best wishes. Keep focused on your own illness and getting that FIXED and then see what happens in other areas of life!
Keep the Son in your eyes!
-------------------- The words "Child" and "terminal illness" should never share the same sentence! Those who care-do, others question!
TGMM Family of the Bow Sasquatch 60" T/D, R/D LB Posts: 11109 | From: L@ncaster County, PA | Registered: Mar 2003
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