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Main Boards => Prayers/Concerns/Honors/Ailments => Topic started by: doug g on March 30, 2011, 11:45:00 AM

Title: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: doug g on March 30, 2011, 11:45:00 AM
Folks, I am embarrssed to even put this up but I am grasping at straws now. I am in the worst spot that I have ever been emotionally. I have lost any and all passion for life.
I used to enjoy everyday, it is a struggle for me just to get out of bed. I am not even going to work, I do not want to be around anyone and this is just not how I am.
My wife is concerned and finally I did talk to her a bit last night and both agreed I need to go talk to a Doctor. My goal for today was to just get up and go to the woods where I hunt, these woods mean a lot to me as they are my Grandparents old farm, and I still have hunting rights. As a kid I would spend hours in them and they are such a relaxing place for me to be. I really hoped it would help. But got up this a.m. and could not get around to go, and that just adds to the depression. Want to call my hunting partner to take me there or go with me but am so ashamed of how I feel I can't.
I know there are so many folks whose problems are so much worse, so forgive me for putting this up, but I feel I just need some help and I hate asking for it. Thanks for listening.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: BenBow on March 30, 2011, 12:05:00 PM
Why are you embarrassed? Do you expect yourself to be perfect? That kind of thinking KILLS your motivation and passion in life because nothing is ever good enough so no mater what you do you get no satisfaction from it. It's called stinking thinking and it's your enemy. It wants to kill you. It wants to steal your life away from you. Get to your Dr get some good medication to bring the physical out of the dumps then start telling yourself positive things. Get off your a$$ and do something even if it's wrong but do something because you don't get any passion laying around. Praying that God give you His fire in your gut and gives you the love for yourself and family to grab life with a full grip and let it fly!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: F Thomas on March 30, 2011, 01:49:00 PM
I will be praying for you.  There is help and there is hope.  Don't give into it.  It is an illness just like a cold or anything else.  It will take you some time, but focus on God and His promises:  I will not leave or foresake you.

Most of all, just putting what you did in writing on this forum is a sign that you are moving in the right direction.

Prayers from California.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: GRAYBEARD on March 30, 2011, 03:49:00 PM
You have taken the first snd very important step of reaching out. That alone takes courage and realistic self evaluation. Now stay strong enough, for yourself and those you love, to address the challenge in a forthright way. As said above, no one is perfect, no life is without issues. The measure of a person is how one approaches problems and I am sure you will do fine. PM me for a phone number if you need someone to holler at.
Thank you for your confidence in the Trad community.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: snakebit40 on March 30, 2011, 05:20:00 PM
The best advice I can give is to engulf yourself in God's word. Pray and ask for strength to get over this. Stay close with your family and friends! They love you more than you know. Don't be embarrassed about it, like said above, nobody is perfect and this isn't abnormal. They will help you through this, but most of all trust in Jesus. He will never let you down.

Prayers from Kansas
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Benha on March 30, 2011, 07:47:00 PM
I have struggled with this myself. I will pray for you.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Doc Nock on March 30, 2011, 07:59:00 PM
Not to say it's NOT depression, but even some mild changes in blood chemestry or a depleted element in our blood can make us totally bottom out!

I once had a temporary depletion of potassium in my body...I was so low, I had to reach UP to tie my boot laces!

Get to that doctor, start with a family doc if that is what it takes and get a full blood work up.

You didn't say how long this has been coming on or if it is a recent manifistation, but regardless, as stated above, there is a FIX.

Starts with you as Benson said getting off yer kiester and just do it without passion. Like the Nike Commercial of years bygone: Just Do it!

Get to the Doc..start the process and keep one foot in front of the other ...and...

The Son in your eyes!

Prayers up!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: BenBow on March 30, 2011, 11:55:00 PM
Doug g and others if I came across as condemning please accept my apology. Where I am coming from is what you are dealing with is serious business and your life could be in jeopardy. What would happen if you were hunting and a big buck walked around the woods with your attitude??? Antlers on the wall! So don't let satan put your antlers on his wall.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: olddogrib on March 31, 2011, 07:04:00 AM
No shame in seeking help when you need it.  Most of us need it far more often than we ask and therein lies the shame, for it comes from stubbornness and pride.  Believe me brother, I own the T-shirt concession on those!  Prayers sent from NC.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: blktail on March 31, 2011, 08:23:00 AM
Praying for you Doug
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: ssoden on March 31, 2011, 10:57:00 AM
Prayers for you brother .. thank you for reaching out for help ... ask God as well .. he loves you and will help too.

God Bless
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Doc Nock on March 31, 2011, 01:08:00 PM
Benson,

I & others know your heart too well to see you ever being condeming or critical. Honest?! Direct!

There are times to dance and times to pay the fiddler.

I'm thinking Doug will understand the urgency in your note as concern and caring!  Lord did!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: doug g on March 31, 2011, 01:46:00 PM
Thank you all,  Galen (BenBow) and I have chatted and I hope everyone understands he said nothing wrong. I apprceciate everyones thoughts and am trying to work through this. His message was clear and direct.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: stringstretcher on March 31, 2011, 05:46:00 PM
Doug, my prayers and thoughts go out to you.  Knowing extremely well what you are dealing with first hand, sometimes, no all the time, you need to seek some other help via medication or theraphy.  Not saying this in a critical way, but as Dock Nock said, a lot of this can be caused by a sever imbalance in blood issues.  It's not just your brain telling you you are depressed.  Please go and see a doctor.  Believe it or not, sometimes they can work wonders, never a miracle, that is God's work.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: petertschantz on March 31, 2011, 05:58:00 PM
Doug we haven't met yet, but I will praying for you as well!

Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

God Bless

Pete
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Nosight on March 31, 2011, 06:28:00 PM
Doug been there..

Listen to all said above get up and go to the Docs.. Have your wife read all of these and then let her call the Doc and your friend...

Get to the woods, do what ever it takes to whip this.

We are all here to lisen and let you yell scream rant rave what ever it takes ..

JUST DO IT..

Later....Buzz
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Oliverstacy on March 31, 2011, 07:11:00 PM
Doug,

I takes a lot to come on here and say the things you've said...trust me I know as I've done it myself.

If you have time read this as it was and still is a issue with me:
  Sleep (http://tradgang.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=23;t=001108)  

I got your PM and I'm going to answer that also.

I wish you the best.  Be careful of anti-depressants...I will never go back on them.  That said they do work for a lot of people!

Josh
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: doug g on March 31, 2011, 09:00:00 PM
I am humbled by your responses. I realize many go through this type of a thing and I am appreciative of all everyones support.

Tomorrow I go to the Dr. I have list of things that are going on with mentally and physically. For years I had been on anti-depressants but had been asking the Dr. to get me off some of my meds. I have a bad case of ressless leg syndrome which can be brought on by the anti-depressant, so we agreed to ween me off the anti-depressant.

That seemed to go well, but now after a couple of months my world has just crashed. I know some of my problems relate to the death of my Dad. I miss him daily, now I have issues with my Ma and I feel terrible about that, I guess I am mad at her because she is still here and my Dad isn't, and I know that is so wrong.

There is a hatred issue with one of my brothers, and disrespect for another brother who is living off my mother, because he is to lazy to work.

Both of our kids live in Arizona and I miss them so much, and to top I off my Daughter and I had a falling out so she won't speak to me.

One minute I feel ok and the next I find myself crying. I am just a mess and I can't believe that I am sharing all of this with you all. You are all a great group of people and I thank you all for your support.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Rick Butler on March 31, 2011, 09:40:00 PM
Doug, I'm glad you called and remember, I'm always here for you. You are more than just a good friend, you are my brother.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: BenBow on March 31, 2011, 11:38:00 PM
Doug the loss of your father is difficult and the anger is a normal part of the grieving process. Prayers sent for healing for you and your family. This most likely not going to get settled quickly and many members may not ever want to but you do whats best you and your family.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: F Thomas on April 01, 2011, 03:17:00 AM
Still praying for you from California.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Doc Nock on April 01, 2011, 02:58:00 PM
Good thing, Doug is that our God is an awesome God and can even handle us being mad at HIM!  :)

Emotions are running wild for you right now... changes in meds can wreck havoc...there are so very many good medicines, don't give up trying!

Worst thing you can do is to start beating down on yourself for what you perceive as "your screw-ups". Often conflicts go deeper than what is being observed at the surface.

Keep one foot in front of the other. Even try different doctors to get a fresh view. I've seen that in itself do wonders for folks.

Deal with daily issues and let the conflicts heal themselves. Keep an open heart and an ear toward His "still small voice" and allow the healing to come from within.

Relationships aren't easy. Even one with our Father at times can be a challenge. They take time.  Focus on healing your inner self and the other relationships that YOU can impact, will come with time!  God will show you how when the time is right...

Keep the Son in your eyes!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Berube on April 01, 2011, 04:04:00 PM
Prayers sent for you.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: doug g on April 01, 2011, 04:14:00 PM
Back from the Dr. , he started me back on my meds and I have an appt with a psyciatrist come monday.

I sincerely appreciate everyone here. I did call my best friend finally about all of this and I am glad I did. 42 years together as friends and this is so bad I was embarrassed to even let him know. Rick thank you so much!

This still has me so bad it is moment to moment, and I thought I was a pretty strong type of guy.

I will say this to any body that is depressed. DO NOT EVER EVER EVER try and get tech support for a computer problem. Bad mistake!! That is my bit of humor for the day. I will have to work out the computer thing another time.

This Family here is great, Thanks again.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Doc Nock on April 01, 2011, 07:18:00 PM
Long as you can still crack jokes about computers and tech support, you've got hope, Son...and a lot of it!   :jumper:  

You might be a bit "down" but you're a long way from out when you can still see humor!

 :)

Glad to see that you're back on at least some type meds... some brain chemistry just doesn't have what it needs so we have to supplement!

doesn't make us "anything" but it does require some outside assistance! Period!

hang in there and good prayers for a successful MOnday session with the clinician!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: petertschantz on April 01, 2011, 07:28:00 PM
Doug, I'm glad to hear that you are getting help with this.

It is always difficult when something we have no control over has a profound impact on us.

Remember, you are not alone - ever.

God Bless

Pete
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: BenBow on April 01, 2011, 10:23:00 PM
"DO NOT EVER EVER EVER try and get tech support for a computer problem. Bad mistake!! That is my bit of humor for the day."
LOL!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: magnus on April 01, 2011, 10:41:00 PM
I've been in your shoes my friend. You must seek physical and spiritual help. We need you! Prayers sent!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: doug g on April 03, 2011, 11:08:00 AM
Thanks again for all your support.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: doug g on April 28, 2011, 07:13:00 PM
Well folks I am finally feeling quite a bit better. I am still not comfortable being around people that I know. Rick has taken me turkey hunting and that has helped me so much. I am enjoying my time in the woods.

I am doing most of my work from home and have gone to work a few times for short periods of time. When I start to feel uncomfortable I go back up stairs to our apartment.

The Tradgang Family has been great. It was a huge comfort knowing and hearing that others have been in my shoes, that I was not alone!

Your kind words and prayers have been greatly appreciated.

Thanks again to all of you.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: BenBow on April 28, 2011, 08:22:00 PM
Glad for you! Prayers continue.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Doc Nock on April 28, 2011, 08:22:00 PM
Thank you, Lord!!! Great news. Benson is home and Doug is feeling the rays of hope.

Again, Thank you, Jesus!!!

Doug, some days are diamonds and some are just freakin rocks! Cherish the diamonds and make a rock garden on the bad ones!  :)

The Woods have been God's Cathedral for a long, long time to many of us who tread this blue marble...

Eaze yourself into a bit more routine daily and don't try to do this without some professional help and coaching...

there is a light at the end of the tunnel and no, it's not a train coming!  :)

Keep the Son in your eyes!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: doug g on May 12, 2011, 07:52:00 AM
Just wanted to give everyone an update. I am finally starting to feel much better. I have finally returned to work after being off for alomost 6 weeks. Still not 100% but in a much better palce than I was when I first posted.

Still seeing my Doctors, but I really am doing better.

I am so happy that I reached out to you folks, it really helped knowing that many others have gone though the same sort of thing. Depression can make one feel so isolated and self loathing it is unbelievable.

Thanks to each and every one of you for your prayers and thoughts, what a great group of people!

Respectfully,

Doug
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: BenBow on May 12, 2011, 09:49:00 AM
Super glad for you Doug. It's hard to believe you're priceless when you're under that crap but it's the truth. Keep going and growing as prayers continue.
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: Doc Nock on May 12, 2011, 05:57:00 PM
Ditto on Benbow's comments!  God don't make Junk... we make ourselves out to BE junk.

Liar, liar pants on fire!

Prayers of thanksgiving that you're on the upswing! Keep on keepin on!
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: doug g on May 12, 2011, 06:07:00 PM
Thanks so much Doc and Galen! How are you coming along yourself Galen?
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: bear1336 on May 15, 2011, 07:42:00 AM
Doug
Conintue prayers from Ga.

IN HIS SERVICE
Dave
Title: Re: I am embarrassed about asking. (Update)
Post by: shick on May 16, 2011, 04:41:00 PM
Doug, hope you continue on this road.
Shick