Trad Gang
Main Boards => Prayers/Concerns/Honors/Ailments => Topic started by: motormouth on November 17, 2011, 11:03:00 AM
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For those of you that know or have read my other posts, you will know o my battle with the whiskey drink. Being so young, it's tough for people to truely understand that this has been a problem for a long time. I am doing alot better but now there are some problems occurring due to this addiction. Minor health stuff, nothing real serious but they can become serious. Prayers are always welcome. They say it gets easier, that's a lie. I'm sure over time it will but it's hard to see right now. Hope you all are well.
-Motormouth
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MnM...
It does get easier... any habit, gets easier just as taking a drink got easier and easier to do, so does NOT taking one...
But you didn't end up being a problem drinker overnight and in the terms you posted, "been a long time problem"...then it might just take a reasonably parallel time to break that pattern/habit!
Cowboy up, bucko! You got the mind set to be able to set to doing anything you want... you've got the disposition to put your nose to the trail and stick to anything you want.
now use it!
If trad archery was easy, everyone would do it.
If Christianity was easy, everyone would believe in it and live by it.
If being the son of a preacher were easy, ...well, you get the picture
Choices my man...choices!
We choose our vices. We choose our options. We choose the level of discomfort, challenge, difficulties we're willing to fight, face and endure to achieve our goals.
God gave you a wake up call with the "minor" health issues, whatever they may be.
He loves you! We love you! Your family loves you!
But we can't "do it for you!"
You're not alone, but the battle is yours to fight. God will strengthen you according to the reliance you put on Him and the surrender you give him to die to your own desires and warm feelings from the buzz...
Nobody wants to see you go down this road and you're not on it alone, but you do have to do the fighting one minute, one hour, one day at a time!
Long time problems don't have quick fixes! Wanting to give up the vices of life can be something we "want to want" but there are truths we must face about how much we TRULY want it to be over...or just "manageable".
Alcoholoism is like pregnancy...you're never a "little bit pregnant" and you're never "kinda an alcoholic"
Either you're dependent or you're not. Facing and accepting is a big issue. Once you declare your situation, then you have fewer options to side slip.
Sorry to go on, Pup. :) But you hide for a while and then come back so figure I'd better dump all I got to say while you're in a reading mood!
Luv ya, bud... God and a helping hand are both at the end of your arm! Reach and ask!
Old Fart Doc Nock
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'Mouth, I'm pulling for you. Listen to Doc Nock, he has a lot of wisdom to offer. Good words, Doc.
Shick
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Addiction is addiction no matter what it is. It can become the most important thing in your life. God can and will break any thing you ask Him to as long as you do it with a repentant heart. The devil on the other hand will like nothing better then to see you return to it and is quick to point out how big a failure you are when you do. Stand fast and be strong and watch what the Lord will do for you.......Dusty
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Praying for God's strength and healing for spirit, soul, and body
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Just celibrated 8 years sobriety this past October 1st. Trust me, it does get easier and better, but it will never go away. One day at a time makes a week, then a month, the years. You can do it, all you have to is want to. Hang in there, it does get better and it's rewards are far greater than its faults.
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This coming January 7th I will celebrate 22 years of sobriety. It hasn't been an easy journey, nor has it been one that I could have done alone. Doc has given some excellent advice and is worth re-reading, even for someone with as much time as I have under my belt.
All we have is the here and now, I left nothing in that part of my history that I need to go back and try to find. The good Lord has gotten me through some really tough times, just he and I. You see.........I have NO willpower, without HIM........I would still be numbing myself with substances that will fix NOTHING in my life.
I'm not gonna say that it gets "easier".......but it gets "different". That "different" type of dealing with things that make up our individual lives has now became my "normal".........if that makes any sense. Just ask.........and YOU shall receive, but EASY it is NOT. Even today, I am but one drink or drug away from being in the same pair of shoes that I was two decades ago. I thank the good Lord each and every night for my life, my sobriety, my freedom and everything that he has blessed me with. Again, without HIM......my life is nothing.
God Bless YOU..........and I will keep you in my prayers. Anytime that you would like to talk, just PM me your phone number and I would gladly share my "journey" with you.
Winterhawk1960
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Prayers for you Brother. Stay strong and listen to Doc's words of wisdom.
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Prayers sent !
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Pup,
You see all the love and hope here from them what been there?
You want it easy? NOpe. You want it fixed? Ready to give it up and not just want to manage it like your buddies might?
I've communicated 1:1 with Don (Winterhawk) and that man don't play. Take his offer, Matt, call him... you didn't earn that nickname "motor mouth" for no reason...talk this out!
I still don't know if your family knows and I danged sure won't be the one to stool on ya, but if you're not talking this out daily... learning, churning, burning... you're making it harder! PM Don your # and talk with someone who's been there, bubba!
Luv ya man... but you gotta get on this bronc and RIDE sucker RIDE! Bucked off? Get back up and go again... I'll send ya a bag of quarters to keep riding the bull if'n you need.
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so i wont sugar coat it with a cute story or anything, last night i had a bad relapse. drank about half a bottle of Jack D's to myself. had a really bad day and thought i could handle one drink. i couldn't. prayers are always welcome.
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Originally posted by Doc Nock:
Pup,
You see all the love and hope here from them what been there?
You want it easy? NOpe. You want it fixed? Ready to give it up and not just want to manage it like your buddies might?
I've communicated 1:1 with Don (Winterhawk) and that man don't play. Take his offer, Matt, call him... you didn't earn that nickname "motor mouth" for no reason...talk this out!
I still don't know if your family knows and I danged sure won't be the one to stool on ya, but if you're not talking this out daily... learning, churning, burning... you're making it harder! PM Don your # and talk with someone who's been there, bubba!
Luv ya man... but you gotta get on this bronc and RIDE sucker RIDE! Bucked off? Get back up and go again... I'll send ya a bag of quarters to keep riding the bull if'n you need.
"I thought I could handle one drink, but I couldn't"...
Yup. Your learning, Pup! :) Reason God gave us arms and legs is so when we fall off whatever "wagon" we're on in life's hurdle-filled existence, we can roll over (might say a few while on your knees on your own behalf, btw) and then stand up, run along side the "wagon" and pull yourself back up on it!
No time for "woe is me" crap either, Bub...
Go "NIKE" and "just do it!"
You PM Charlie (Stringstretcher) or Don (Winterhawk) yet?
Get serious about recovery means leaving NO stone unturned.
Forget the hero crap of "doing it yourself". You didn't get here alone and while only YOU and GOD can fix this...His angels abound to reach out and lift you up!
Do it! Do it NOW!
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Originally posted by motormouth:
so i wont sugar coat it with a cute story or anything, last night i had a bad relapse. drank about half a bottle of Jack D's to myself. had a really bad day and thought i could handle one drink. i couldn't. prayers are always welcome.
I'm not trying to be a smart-arse.....but I feel the need to ask you a couple of questions.
1. Did the half a bottle of Jack D make the day any better ???
2. Honestly.....did you really think you could just take ONE drink ???
There comes a point where "whatever" our drug of choice is..........IT just doesn't DO it anymore and NO amount will make us unable to still "feel" whatever it was that we were trying to numb ourselves from.
Been there............done that. Got sick and tired of being "sick and tired".
PLEASE reach out to "someone"....... :pray:
Thy will be done
Winterhawk1960
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So you had a really bad day? Did that half bottle make it go away? Or did it let you just forget about it for a while? Tell me how that half bottle solved your really bad day?
What happens when you have a really really bad day? Does that get you the whole bottle? As with any addiction, you have all the answers to take a drink. Why don't you start asking the questions to yourself that would tell you NOT TOO!!!!
If you want help, you have to want it and not look for excuses in the bottle. That will just get you to the point that you start all over the next time.
I can assure you, what you did, had no bearing on your really bad day, except for giving you the mind set of this will make it go away. You are bigger and better than that Matthew. Or are you?
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The misbelief that things and the way life happens to you makes you happy is part of the root of your problem. You believe in happiness which is based on what happens so your feelings go up and down like a roller coaster. You have to grasp that you and you alone are responsible for your own feelings. Nothing and no one can MAKE you feel anything unless you believe they can. Once you grasp that you are in control of your feelings you can feel great in the midst of any situation. You can feel great without a drink. In fact you can feel better than you ever have with a drink. Once I understood this there wasn't a drug or drink that could get me as high as I choose to feel without them. Try it! Next tough time that comes around, and it will, start praising God for the good things you have and that you don't have to let that tough time rule your life. Laugh to spite the problem and win.
Choose Joy which is based on your own choice and is constant and growing. Happiness jerks you around and makes you a jerk. With joy people will say your smile comes all the way from your toes and that's called deep joy. Find it and you find life.
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I just finished reading the book by Josh Hamilaton (not the right spelling) who was the highest paid rookie ever coming out of high school to play baseball. He overcame alot to get back to where he is today. You need to get your hands on this book and read it. You will see that the way he overcame his demons was one day at a time and with Jesus in his heart and mind and soul and ear. You can't and won't get past this without Jesus and without really looking for and facing up to the things that make you drink. You can lie to the man looking back at you every morning when you look into the mirror but you can't lie to God. He knows your heart and mind. You need to give the fellows on here a call and connect with them as they have been there and done that. I have been dry for 25 years and it took me excepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior and giving HIM control. Just remember addiction is addiction no matter what it is and Christ will and can break any addiction we have except being addicted to HIM. I'm praying for you and I know you will beat this. P.U.S.H. Pray until something happens.......Dusty
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lot's of good advise here.prayer sent buddy.
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Amen Rookie@51
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praying for you!
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i have to admit, when i first read your responses, i was mad. but then i realized that you guys have been thru this. I think i was mad at myself really, cause i couldn't answer Winterhawk or string's questions without knowing that i really didnt even need to answer them, that i already knew the answer. No, the half bottle did nothing but hurt me and my situation. i realized now that the reason did it is that it was the norm for me. when i used to have a bad day, thats what i did. its a comfort zone thing. god has really been working in me and helping me seek help. i now see an addictions counsler at least twice a month. sometimes more. For those of you that don't know, my pops is a pastor and dang good one. him and i have been talkng too, which is nice. i dont get to spend alot of time with him. just ask doc, my dad is one of the best. i also ant to thank you guys for the "Tough Love". its tough hehe but needed. God Bless.
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last night i had a bad relapse. drank about half a bottle of Jack D's to myself.
Light weight! I use to drink a 5th a day for years and nobody ever saw me drunk. "If you can't run with the big dogs stay on the porch"
Seriously I totally agree with most and especially Doc Nok. It's all about choices my man and what's really important to you. He pretty much hit the nail on the head.
Have you been to some type of AA meetings or support groups? How old are you and how long have you had a drinking problem? Any other substance abuse issues?
I've been through a few addition problems in my life along with family members and very close friends who destroyed their themselves with addictive personalities.
Motormouth huh?...I can talk to you all day about this and will. Don't look for any hugs and kisses but I will talk to you straight and try and help you. If you are serious PM me for a # but don't waste my time if you are not.
Your opening post says a lot about your troubles.
:help:
Oh and is this a Trad post?
;)
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Hey, Li'l Buddy!
First, reading that you've opened up to your Dad warms my heart. I posted I didn't know if your family knew or not...and wasn't going to rat you out, but glad you've come clean at least w/ Pop.
Two, You still haven't answered the really key question: Do you REALLY want to quit drinking or do you crave to be able to just 'drink like the rest of the guys' and not have a drinking "problem?"" ?????
Three: seeing a addiction counselor 2x/MONTH? Really? Only 2x/month? Seems a key point in recovery!
Most counseling I know about that works is identifying destructive self beliefs and then working slowly and steadily to change those beliefs and patterns of behavior... but 2x/month?
Many (most) of us have quiet demons and greater or lesser "addiction" but many are not so noticeable or destructive, but they're there.
No, I've not had a drinking "problem" but I do see in myself an "addictive personality type" in some areas of my life and watch it closely.
Yes, it's good that the folks here (me included) pi$$ you off... and one reason I admire and love you like a kid of my own is that you quickly see it and fess up that it's you you're ticked off at! Good for you!
That still leaves this anger problem of yours that leads directly to "bad days."
There is a quality human being just "slightly" under the surface of all the crap YOU'VE piled on yourself...
But you don't email. You don't call. You don't reach out and the reason? Just maybe----Cause you know (like the chaps here that have been down the road of excuses, blaming and ducking responsibility for drinking before they got straight) they and I will put you right on the hot seat...
Listen, I know "some" of what bugs you... not the exact wording but YOU put yourself in your sister's shadow, nobody else did that. I know you've struggled to create an identity of your own. I know that you get mad so easily and then bummed and drink on "bad days" because you suffer like a whole freakin bunch of US... with low self esteem.
Many of us walk around one soda cracker away from bleeding to death because we doubt ourselves and if someone claws at us, we bleed.
Many protective devices are used to wall us off...some chemical, some attitudinal, some behavioral, etc, ad naseum.
HAVING a problem isn't the problem!!! BELIEVING YOU SHOULD NOT have a problem is the problem!
Get over yourself. There are millions of walking wounded who never pull their heads outa their kiester soon enough or long enough to realize the problem isn't special...just the fear of having a problem makes it hard!
You can do this, but you've got to accept it's ok to HAVE a problem. That isn't what makes us a failure.
Every winner gets knocked down over and over but a loser quits getting back up!
You're a winner! Accept it's there, quit beating yourself up over finally having a BIG problem and let's get you lined out toward being the winner you were born to be!
Oh, MikeW, yeah...this is one place on Gang where the heart is the lead, not trad archery... nothing more traditional than standing by our brother's and sisters when it hits the fan.
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hree: seeing a addiction counselor 2x/MONTH? Really? Only 2x/month? Seems a key point in recovery!
Yep..when I finally got my act together and got serious I use to go at least twice a day, sometimes more. I have a really cool story I can tell him if he calls me. Am sure it would motivate him a little. I was raised in a very religious household for most of my life but for years when I got older and on my own I struggled with my believes and I still do. You don't need God to beat this but if it helps you then ask him for help.
I met a man who change my life at my first meeting, he still just blows my mind thinking back on it and I wish to pass the knowledge on and help someone else as he helped me.
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Mathew,
Although I have not had an alcoholism problem please hear me out.
Both my wife and I have worked at a substance abuse inpatient and outpatient rehab for 5 years.
I work with and have many friends who are in recovery. Many of whom have been there for 20 plus years. They all make regular meetings. They ALL still have support networks. They ALL still have cravings but use the tools that have been given to them.
I hear stories daily of people who relapse. It happens (to weak people). The thing is, these people stopped using the tools that they had. They had a bad day and said "screw it". They thought they could handle "just one drink" (They couldn't, you NEVER can). Sometimes they think they have it licked and stop going to meetings. Its amazing how quickly we fall! I hear this story DAILY!
It is sad, many people I talk with have burned their bridges. Families that do not want them back.
There is help out there. Here is a true story relayed to me from a patient who seeked help when he needed it (using your tools)!
I will call him Joe.
Joe was in an airport traveling for work, he had a bad day and lost a major account for his company. Joe was on his way home and heard that his plane was Delayed 8 hours. while feeling down and having a craving he looked up and saw a bar. Joe called his sponsor who was 1000 miles away and said he was having a hard time and was thinking about drinking. after a short discussion with his sponsor and saying their Goodbyes, Joe heard an announcement. would the "friends of "name undisclosed for confidentiality" meet at gate 25C"!
Joe's Sponsor arranged for an impromptu AA meeting in the airport.
A saying that is used a lot but is true.
It works if you work it! So work it, you're worth it. (dorky but true)
Many people are here reaching out, Many people care. Please see that!!!!
There is no quick fix. You cannot go to rehab and be cured, this will be something you will always have to work at for the rest of your life but as Doc said, focus on now. Take one step at a time. Take small bites and the big ole steak wont seem so big.
People do it every day, you can too.
There's help out there, theres tools out there and there are people who care out there.
It sounds like you are on the right path seeing a counselor twice a month and reaching out. My recommendation is you kick it into high gear, make meetings (daily at first). Find a mentor and a sponsor. You are worth it, and owe it to yourself and family.
God bless.
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I might add you are not alone. I work for the nation's largest privately owned Substance abuse facility, we have no issues and have a waiting list keeping 220 beds filled daily.
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Wow, Charlie! Such wisdom for such a young couple as you and your wife.
Matt, Go look up his bio...he's not that much older than you...
I know reading Charlie's input, what's been bothering me and since you won't get in touch off line, I'll share it here.
This isn't about "making appearances!" IF...IF you want to believe you're a failure and IF... You are trying to mount evidence to the same, that "I've tried, but I just can't get better--I'm a failure" then you won't really BE a failure, you will have "SUCCEEDED" at what you unconscioiusly set out to accomplish: That is to fail! Ironic, huh?! :(
You can't dance with the devil and play at this and "pretend to admit you have a problem," then go at solving the problem in some half-assed fashion!
What you read above is a recurring theme: The first step is total admission you're an alcoholic. Second, is finding help that is as CONSUMING as is the addiction. Not dancing around the edges hoping a "band-aid" will help.
You have to go after this like you're being chased by the Devil himself...cause, well...you are! HE doesn't want to loose his grip on you...the one he has with your addiction.
There is a reason you started turning to alcohol as an escape-- From what? Get that out and fix that! Meanwhile, back at daily living, get that support network. but counseling 2x/month won't uncover and help you develop new coping skills!
There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed about admitting and becoming whole thru complete admission and full immersion in a program to get you solid!
Your own words: "...been doing this a long long time whenever things went bad" (paraphrased), so this "problem" is deep seated, self-created and yes, only YOU can prevent forest fires, but don't set yourself up to fail by pretending you can do this alone...
If you believe that, I do Not. I believe you KNOW in your heart you're dancing around the edges... fearfilled yet to admit to the full monty of this and it's hold.
Afraid perhaps of what people will think if a preacher's son admits and enters into full blown counseling, AA meetings, etc.
I could and have been wrong, but that is what my gut tells me after weeks of being unsettled about what I read of how you're approaching this.
This is YOUR life... YOU are WORTH having a full, productive life!
I've lived where you are geographically and the "cowboy way" isn't going to cut it... you now live in one of the top states for alcoholism around... and for teen alcoholism to boot! :(
Great state. find your own path but leave no stone unturned!
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Mathew,
If you set yourself up for failure, you will succeed every time. :readit:
Doc Nock is right on the money. You need to Buck up and do things right.
Do not place blame. It is no ones fault, not yours and you should not point fingures at anyone else either. This isnt about who is right or wrong.
It is easy to be a victim and live with it. It is much harder to stand up accept responsibility, admit when you are wrong but not focus on the past. You cannot change that, move on. work on what is immediately in front of you. (one step at a time).
Here is a prayer you probably already have heard but should remember and use. (another tool).
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
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Originally posted by motormouth:
i have to admit, when i first read your responses, i was mad. but then i realized that you guys have been thru this. I think i was mad at myself really, cause i couldn't answer Winterhawk or string's questions without knowing that i really didnt even need to answer them, that i already knew the answer. No, the half bottle did nothing but hurt me and my situation. i realized now that the reason did it is that it was the norm for me. was the norm for me. when i used to have a bad day, thats what i did. its a comfort zone thing. god has really been working in me and helping me seek help. i now see an addictions counsler at least twice a month. sometimes more. For those of you that don't know, my pops is a pastor and dang good one. him and i have been talkng too, which is nice. i dont get to spend alot of time with him. just ask doc, my dad is one of the best. i also ant to thank you guys for the "Tough Love". its tough hehe but needed. God Bless.
Matt,
It isn't so much about "Tough Love" as it is that those of us that have been there and have (most likely) already done what you speak of and if we haven't.......we've at least given it several attempts of justifying it in our own little minds.
Those of us that have been where you are, aren't trying to make you mad or hurt you. We have "learned" a new norm for handling lifes little perks. Please don't think that we are trying to be-little you because the TRUTH is that we can and have seen a little of ourselves in YOU. Believe me when I tell you that WE know of that "comfort zone" you speak of. We also know that at some point that "comfort zone" will become harder and harder to find......and eventually will no longer be available to sit in because it was only a figment of our imagination.
The mind is a powerful thing........it can and will mess with the best intentioned person. When I speak with someone that is currently in a "place" that I have previously occupied it does as much good for me (maybe even more) than it does for them. Is this selfish........I really don't know, but what I do know is "But for the grace of God, there go I".
Recovery is a never-ending process......it doesn't just occur and we move on away from it. Once a pickle......NEVER a cucumber again. I am and will be an addict till the day I die. The difference for me, at least for today is that I do everything that I can to NOT be a practicing one. Seriously.........you didn't get this way overnight and your not gonna be "different" overnight. It takes time and commitment and mostly a whole lot of PRAYER. The "Serenity Prayer" that someone posted above has helped me in many different areas of my life in the past and continues to do so today.
The TRUTH for me is and will ALWAYS be to
Let Go and Let God........it's when I try and "change" things myself that I get up to my neck in crap. The key is ACCEPTANCE that I am POWERLESS.........not an easy thing to do, but when I do finally get "beat to submission" I turn it over to "something greater" than myself and let God handle it. Now that doesn't mean that I don't have to do my part........and God knows how much I can handle. He has never led me to something that he hasn't carried me through. Given enough time and being proven to, enough times that I simply SUCK at resolving some situations on my own.......my "norm" has changed.
It can for YOU also..........and my offer still stands that I can give you a call anytime that you would like. I am not a lecturer and don't have any pre-written speaches to give, but I'm willing to bet that YOU and I.......are a lot more alike than we are different.
I will continue to pray for you until something happens.........what that is, is completely up to the good Lord above. I can only hope that you can remember some of the genuine, concerned advice that has been given by the wonderful, caring people of this forum.
Thy will be done....... :pray:
Winterhawk1960
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You DO need GOD in this and everything else in your life.
Now go and pour out the other half of that bottle of Jack.
Read your bible daily.
Prayers for you
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Matt, The next time the devil wants your life back, beat him in the head with John 8:36: "If the SON therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." Your freedom has been paid for by God's only SON. Take your freedom, and let nothing steal it from you. Prayers sent. Denny
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Matt, I hope you are doing well :pray:
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Charlie,
I've known young Matt since he was just a teen... and since he moved West when his dad took a job pastoring a church in Great Falls, MT area, this is Matt's pattern. He comes, asks, interacts for a while and then goes "ghost" for a spell.
Been writing him personal emails... but don't get replies to that either.
He'll be back around. He knows God and God's will and the strength is in this kid! If it weren't, he'd not have made it this far.
Sometimes, we just have to let folks find enough misery to decide when enough is enough.
He knows we're here for him and he knows I care about him personally, too.
May we all just keep praying for Matt to come full circle back to his roots.
Lord in your Mercy...
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Sometimes, we just have to let folks find enough misery to decide when enough is enough.
Am glad you know him so well and are standing on the sidelines for him. You can't help someone that really doesn't want help or isn't willing to do what it takes to change. Some folks just have to hit rock bottom first and even then some won't do it.
All the best.
:thumbsup:
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Don't know if I can say I "KNOW" Matt that well, but I can say I've cared FOR him well enough.
he's now a grown man...knows right from wrong. He knew enough to come here, was honest enough to share that some of our comments ticked him off, but then insightful and honest enough to share further that he realized he was mad at himself!
That young man has a lot of GOOD raw material in him. Unfortuanately, I've seen a LOT of fine, fine young (and older) people fall prey to drugs and alcohol and the ultimate choice is always THEIRS!
Matt, if you read any of this, know you're loved by many and we're all praying and pulling for you. You can reach out anytime of day or night. You know how!
Peace, li'l brother. Keep the Son in your eyes!
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If I can help any, I have had many years of experience in this category. I was a HEAVY DRINKER from my early teens, up until I was about 35 when I met my Lord and Savior. I drank often enough, and had a hangover so often I couldn't even tell when I got the flu or common cold, because I felt bad all the time !! I didn't even know I was sick, I just got used to it. I finally went to the doctor one day for something I thought was routine and they heard a heart murmur. Too make a long story short, many doctor visits later, and open heart surgery diagnosis later, I was scared to death !! I thought my life had ended ! What I didn't know that day was that by 5:00 p.m. that evening, a new life began for me. A life without drugs and alcohol, a life without bar fights and drunken arguments with my wife and everyone around Me. I was so alone, with no one to turn to. I confided in my Mother and she told me the things I needed to do to start my new life and personal relationship with Jesus Christ. If I told you everything after that was perfect and simple, I would be telling a big fat lie ! It was hard being around all those drinking buddies and friends I've known and ran with all my life. Alot of them understood my situation and some of them didn't. Some are still good friends and some act like I have the plague. It does all get easier with time. I was always told when I was a kid that "Anything that comes easy, ain't worth havin " If quitting drinking was easy, no one would be an alcholic, same with being a Christian, if it was easy, everyone would be one. It took a little Divine Intervention to make me see the the Light. I'm not sure if I could have quit on my own. The one thing I do know is that I've never knew I could feel so good when I wake up in the morning ! My life has changed forever, for the better of course. I have piece of mind knowing where I will go when my days here on earth are done. I wouldn't change anything with how my life is now. Hope this helps.
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Ya know, I tried not to read this post again. Because doc's right, im mad at me.
Its been a long while since i posted that. I have been going to AA meetings in my community and doing well. would've been 45 days but had a slip up.
even though it doesnt get easier, i do get stronger i find. i am now able to make the choice not to go by the beer isle in the store, and stay away from goin out with the boys for some fun, cause i know where ill end up. at first they were mad but now they understand and only call me when its a non alcoholic activity. i also have made alot of new sober friends which helps to.
I dont mean to drop off the earth. m tryin to get better at it. i try to check at least this forum once a day.
I do thank all of you for your wisdom and advice, even if sometimes it makes me mad. God has been workin on me somethin fierce and its hard sometime but i know he has a plan and he knows what hes doing.
I wish you all the best, and "Keep the SON in your eyes" :)
-MM
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Bubba,
You can't climb a mountain without slipping backwards a few steps, especially when the climb is steep. It goes with the territory. No excuse, but it is a fact! It's also a slippy slope to start "excusing" slips as inevitable... that is pre-programming failure into the hard drive!
It's ok to get ticked at our own weaknesses. Just make sure you don't use that "being ticked" to start tearing down your own self esteem--- cause from where I sit, I'm guessin that has something to do with the alcohol a long time ago anyway! Hmmm? I've seen a LOT of stubborn in you and at times, rebellious behavior as you started your teen years... USE IT! Channel that rebellion to fight against the desire to taste when it comes up... use that stubborn to say, "NO WAY, Jose!" One step closer each and every day!
Withouth Him, we're but dust! You're doing the right things now...avoiding temptation and developing non-drinking friends! :thumbsup:
45 days beats the britches off your past when you came here or 4 or 5 days! You didn't get where you are overnight and it will take concentrated effort to keep moving forward.
Good News! You've got the best coach in the Universe on your side, bub: Jesus! THAT "big Brother" won't ever let you down or abandon you!
And yeah, pup, :)
Keep the Son in your eyes!
Happy Resurrection Weekend!
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Prayers sent for you mouth, just trust in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you can make it. God bless.
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You have taken the first step bro. Do as Doc-Noc said and finish it. God Bless
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Matt,
I'm praying for you.
Please follow the suggestions made by these people the lord has communicating with you.
Keep the faith.
GOD loves you!
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Well, heres an Update.
Doin ok. had to leave a few gatherings of friends but i'm not gonna deal with it any longer so i leave when i see alcohol involved. most of my friends have been very understanding. other, well, i guess aren't worth my time.
its been and is everyday a struggle. i have been seeing an addition counselor but still haven't decided whether to seek more help. she does a good job at what she does. she has alot of little things that help me.
i have come to the realization that this is a life thing. ill deal with this struggle for life. i know people have told me this but i had to figure it out for myself. all of you that have given me your contact info, i will probably be giving ya a call for support. i got a long road ahead of me.
thanks for the continued support and prayer.
a brother in Christ,
-MM
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Matt,
You will always BE an alcoholic, but you won't always "struggle the rest of your life", as you put it.
It DOES get easier I'm told... and you will get smarter, learn more tricks to stay ahead of the cycle and become more alighned with right choices that make it easier with each success.
You might see it as a long road ahead...i see it as a long life of positive outcomes ahead of you!
Keep the Son in your eyes...
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I'm still praying...... :pray: :pray: :pray:
For YOU as well as ALL people like us. You know, when I made the choice to make some changes in my life, I thought I had LOTS of friends. Over time I contacted each of them on the phone and told them the "changes" I had set forth in my life. I told them that I didn't care what they did when I wasn't around them, but to PLEASE respect my choices to NOT use anymore.
As it turned out.........I guess I didn't have ANY friends that I used to party with. I'm not gonna tell you that it gets any easier. For me it didn't and still isn't. What it is for me is "different".........a different way of living and you are correct, it is a life long thing. Once a pickle........NEVER.........a cucumber again !!!!
Hang in there brother.
Thy will be done............
Winterhawk1960
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Matt,
Keep up the good work. Recovery is a process that never ends. It may not feel like it but I can tell you have come a long way. Just look back at where you have been. Think about all the people you thought were friends who will not have the courtesy to not drink around you. Regardless whether they understand or not is irrelevant. You can love completely without complete understanding.
You have a long way to go but are on the right track and seem to have much more grasp than you did a few months ago. :thumbsup:
:clapper:
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Still praying for you here...
As you get more info into your own head you will see that alot of what you need to do has ben said here allready..
You have it right "as you figure it out" it will be a new way to walk.
Just remember we are all here for you and with you..
Later....Buzz
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Praying for you man. Set your eyes on Christ, remind yourself of the gospel every day man. That Jesus took our sins and our punishment on that cross, and gives us forgiveness, and righteousness through faith in Him. He did it all. Its all about Jesus and His love.
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Good to talk w/ you, Matt.
I'd say you're doing quite well from what you shared... Mountain climbing is HARD work...but you can't take too many rest stops or you'll never get to the top. Keep on Keepin on!
You'll get to the top of THIS mountain, too...and you will look back and know the effort was worth it!
Keep the Son in your eyes!
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Well i have done it again. The Disappearing act as Doc Noc calls it. All is well. Struggling as usual but i now have a big support system. I have joined a group of young people who are all battling the juice. we go out and hike or fish. it has brought us really close and in turn, makes it easier to fight.
Doc, just so you know June 27th thru July 11th, ill be at the farm in Virginia. If you can make it sometime, give me a call. you need the numbers, let me know.
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Matt,
That would be wonderful... but I can't see how I can swing the drive/gas$$ at that time....much still going on till mid July to settle some of the affairs of Dad's with the State....
What I can say is that you also have my house and cell.... if you can't reach hyour network out home, do indeed call....don't let your old haunts suck you in down there in the Hills of Ole Dominion! :)
Course...if you get a wild hair...you can roll up and I'll give you hots and a cot! :)
Glad to hear things are progressing! Excellent to read that you got yourself a good support network... Big Sky has some need for that and I'm tickled you've gotten "hooked up!"
Keep the Son in your eyes, li'l Bro!
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Glad to hear you're supporting others as well as being supported!!!
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Great Stuff Matt! Your Journey is just beginning but you are well on your way and have overcome the biggest hurdle.
My hats off to you! :clapper: