Trad Gang
Main Boards => Prayers/Concerns/Honors/Ailments => Topic started by: Doc Nock on March 22, 2012, 09:10:00 AM
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Been a while since I asked for prayers for my Pop.
He's been in a nursing home for 2 yrs after a mild stroke, but kept slipping. Once you're not making progress to "get out" Medicare won't pay so we've gone thru almost $200,000 of his savings in 18 mos. Good thing Mom is gone and didn't need the $$.
He turned 90 Sunday. Had a small gathering as he's been pretty much asleep most of the time I visit, but he was awake and enjoyed us reading his cards to him, singing Happy B'day and feeding him 'pureed' cake and thickened ice cream. (yuk)
Then Monday, he crashed with heavy sweats and unable to eat or swallow. Tuesday ok, but had blood in his stool.
He can do nothing for himself, and while I will miss visiting him daily, even without much interaction, I hate to see him linger and suffer.
Prayers requested for strength for me to accept God's will and for God's Mercy to be on Titus, my Dad, that his suffering may not last longer than his desire to continue and that God's peace be on him.
Thanks...
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Dave,
You got 'em, sorry to hear "Tite" has taken a turn for the worse.
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Amen Dave prayers sent
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Thanks, Guys.
Dad's headed toward "perfect healing". His brother, battling bone cancer 30 yrs ago, told me, "Dave, even death is God's perfect healing".
His death was very painful near the end, but hopefully, he never lost that focus.
Hard to think in those terms till you watch a loved one live a shell of existence without ability to do for self or even interact. Then one truly understands the power of those words!
NOw the hard part: living that fine attitude!
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Prayers sent David. I have seen and been through the suffering, and even though we know in our hearts what is best, it is always hard to let go. May he find his peace soon my friend.
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Prayers from here for both you and Dad..
You have hit it on the head..
Knowing he is going to be healed by the hand of God, but living with it....
I pray for you for this peace of heart and mind...
Later....Buzz
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More prayers sent for both your dad and you.
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Prayers for the both of you Doc. God Bless
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David,
Prayers sent for both your Pop and yourself. I've been where you are with my Grandmother, back in 1983. Bless YOUR heart for being the son that everyone hopes and prays that they could have in those final years.
May God lay his loving hands on your Pop and remove his pain and suffering and give you the strength and wisdom to handle what you put into HIS hands.
Thy will be done...... :pray: :pray: :pray:
Winterhawk1960
P.S. If you ever need to talk, you know how to get ahold of me.......anytime brother.
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Thanks, Guys! Took this evening off a nd went in mid afternoon. Boy.."dayshift" is a sorry mess!
Stuff not done that is to be done daily...went to report it to the Dir of Nursing but she was out "donating blood". Grrrrr!
Dad was a bit more perky. They cut out the wafarin blood thinner for good... we'll see how that works. :(
He could outlast ME! Had a chance to get with a dear friend's widow and her grown kids/grandkid and have dinner. I forgot that people actually have a social life in the evenings! :eek:
I liked it. Thank you for your prayers for Pop and for me!
In God's own time...
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Father God, I lift up Dave and Titus to you tonight. I thank you for Dave's example of how a son should love, respect, and care for his father. He is a devoted son, and I ask your strength be upon him to stand firm in your will for his dad. Please give Titus your mercy, Lord, as your perfect healing comes in your perfect time. We wait on you, Lord, and in you we place our trust. Amen
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Dave,
May god give you Strength and Wisdom.
Sounds like your old man has it but cannot relay it.
You have been very Strong, Most son's would have given up Long ago, sounds like you get your strength from Titus.
Until you reach a happy place, you and your father will get continued prayers from me.
Charlie
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Dave,
Sometimes its hard to see dignity in suffering. But your devotion to your father brings a quiet dignity to his life. Your father may not be able to say it, but I am sure he is grateful and proud that you are a good son. May we find strength in your example, and may you find strength in our prayers.
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I am praying for you and your dad Dave. May the lord look after you both.
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Doc,
Prayers of hope and comfort sent to you and your father.
James
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Thanks, Guys!!!
Last evening, my Dad had something on his mind... can't even hold his arms up...tried to talk but couldn't communicate with us!
When my mom was dying 8 yrs ago, she had one afternoon where she could barely mumble, but then passed. Dad I presume, will hang in there and it is so hard to want to meet their needs but they can't communicate what is bothering them or they want...
About breaks my heart!
Hate this for him more than me... When he stands before Christ, he will know all that is in my heart to offset whatever frustration might be there now...but until then, his mind is clear, but his body won't cooperate!
Lord in your Mercy...
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Doc,
I am praying right now for both of you...I am sorry I haven't been over here to check on you lately or others..Please forgive me for letting the world get in the way...I saw this post and just had to read to see how "POP" and of coarse you are doing and as I read I was reminded of when my Mom went Home and I pray that you are beside your Dad to say So long and to see you again! You have a good heart Dave and a good son you are to your Dad just by visiting and praying with him has got to make him proud inside of how you have become...I'm proud to be a friend of yours here on Tradgang and when I see a prayer need I always know you are always at the alter praying for all of us...God Bless you brother and I'll one day get to meet ya...Keefers <><
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Doc,
a prayer said for your dad & you.
Peace be with you
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About breaks my heart!
Hate this for him more than me... When he stands before Christ, he will know all that is in my heart to offset whatever frustration might be there now...but until then, his mind is clear, but his body won't cooperate!
I can't imagine,
prayer for ya both ole pal!!
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Anyone who has had elderly parent goes thru this... If it weren't painful, we'd have no feelings!
Thanks for the support folks. Seems that this is 100% of my focus these days vs. finding work at 64! :(
Just can't relocate at this time and leave him to linger all alone...
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Doc, I think maybe the Good Lord is giving you this time away from work so your focus can be with your dad. It may be His gift to you, for the moment. Many times I miss the gifts given me, seeing them as struggles or trials, but later on see them as a blessing. I've much to learn, here.
May He bless and strengthen you both in this moment, together. He definitely has a plan for your future, too, Doc. You have MUCH to offer at 64...Take care, Brother.
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Praying for you and your dad Doc. Thanks for the updates.
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Continued daily prayers Brother for both you and Dad.
IN HIS SERVICE
Dave
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Lifting your Dad and you up in prayer Doc! God Bless you brother! Keefers <><
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Doc. I am kind of new here but am blessed to be able to pray with you all. What comfort you are for your dad and what comfort in the hope of what is to come!
Tim <><
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:campfire:
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Prayers for you and your dad Dave
F-Manny
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Dave, I have walked this trail and there is no joy on it. Just relief when your loved one is taken to the home to which we all aspire. Know my family holds you both up in prayer.
Stay Strong.
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Thanks, all.
To add to the joy of it all, I'm terribly allergic to cats and dogs (one of the true heartbreaks of my life!). I've tried everything but of that which is available, I use that to survive normal seasonal stuff...
So...this fine nursing home goes and decides to be "hip" like some other "homes" around and gets a "therapy dog".
Dunno what this thing is, but it's HUGE at 10 mos, long white hair and looks like a white Newfoundland!
It now lives there full time. I wear a surgical mask to even spend my hour with my Dad and come home to tons of reactions... the place is carpeted and now the carpet is carpeted with long white hair...
Love animals, but these residents are half out of their minds and few have visitors so who knows if some of THEM have allergies to animals?
Oh, well...when dad passes then I will never have to set foot in that particular place again!
Jed, you're so right. I don't pray for healing. Dad's well past that, but for his peaceful passing...in God's time, not mine though.
Thank you all for your prayers and support!
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It is that time of year. Spirit has been dumping clumps of undercoat. You couldn't ride in my truck from the tent to the loo right now! Looks like she is almost done with her "moult".
I hope things get better for you soon.
Killdeer
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Doc,
Its hard to accept that your parent, specially your pop is goin downhill. My pop and i are close, and when that day comes, where he starts slippin, i dunno what i'd do.
I do know how strong you are. ever since i met ya, as a young pup at B'More, you have showed me the right path when all i can do is stumble, you have talked straight with me when i need it, you have comforted me when i needed it an you have shown me this "tough love" they talk bout. heck, if it wasn't for you, Killie, Mockingbird, Applepie and some others, i may not have turned out as well as i did. You guys are family. yeah, ive got a purdy good on already, but you guys are different, you guys are my Family, connected thru the bow. which means that whatever happens, Doc, we got your back. I'm always here for ya, day or night, as you have been for me. Keep the faith brother, because the good lord has a HUGE plan for your pops...and an even bigger one for you brother.
In the words of the Famous Doc Noc, :)
"Keep the Son in your eyes"
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Amen, Motormouth. Doc has always been there for me no matter what the problem was, now we are all there for him. Prayers continue for Doc and his Father.
Brother Dave you are MY ROCK.
IN SHIS SERVICE
Dave
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I had to take a day after reading Matt's note. I did send ole MMouth an email--- Broke right down and bawled reading his words...
I've worried about that boy cause he posts up challenges of his own, then disappears! :(
David, you always point out my contribuitons, but you seem to discount what you're presence in my world has meant as well.
Many here on gang, present and those who've moved onto other things, have held my head above the torrents many times in the past bunch of years and tribulations.
Just paying it forward in my own feeble attempt to do whatever possible.
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Doc
The people on this forum are wonderful. They have helped me thru some bad times in my life. Continue prayers for you and your Dad. My our LORD give you peace and comfort in these stressful times.
IN HIS SERVICE
Brother Dave
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We're all here for ya, Doc. Well Said, Bear.
Doc, I know im not the best at follow-up. In fact, Im horrible at it :) but im here for ya no matter what. I know you have impacted alot of lives.
I spoke to the sister yesterday, we had a family dinner last night, and she wanted me to give you her best. My pops also. Him and i shot yesterday and while i have gotten ten times better, i still cant get him. i fear this is permanent :)
Prayers always sent your way. If you need anything, you know how to get me.
"Keep the son in your eyes" :)
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Doc,
If you ever need to talk, vent or be heard,
Let me know, I will listen!
Matt, good to see you back!
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WE're of one mind, David, regarding those who have stood in the gap for us.
Matt,
Yes, you ARE horrible at following up after asking for prayer! :) But we /I still luvz ya li'l brother. Thanks for sharing young Lass's comments and your pop's! Back at you all for sure!
You do have a good family. Now you need to learn to take your place in the Sun, under the SON as a rightful son in that family and embrace adn rely. Perfection is for the misguided! Only exists in the next life!
Charlie,
Thank you. Been reading on Biblical "joy" and realize it is NOT about being happy or frolicking without concerns...it's ALL about that inner peace knowing God's got our backs!
There are so many things I am feeling totally ovewhelmed about...no idea what to do or how, but am just "letting go and letting God."
Trick is knowing what demands OUR attention in all that and when we're in "avoidance" vs. waiting in Faith/Trust.
Therein lies the quandry of the Universe I suppose! :)
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Doc, You and Pop are never far from my prayers.I have only one parent left an that is my Mom. I know that someday I will have to say goodbye to her if the Lord don't take me first. It won't be a good day for me but it is the cycle of life that has been ordained for us by our creator and Father. Just as I know the eternal state of my Mother you also have the comfort to know the same thing for Pop's. SO we wait and we pray and we ask for that peace that passes all understanding that only comes from our heavenly Father. You are being covered in prayers from all over the world. Stand strong my brother and know we have your back. Father in you........Dusty
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prayers from Louisiana way...marco
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Prayers for your Pop and you Doc. God Bless you both. :pray:
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prayers up for you and Pop!
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talked ot my own pop today, Doc. told him bout your pop. he's prayin to. his own dad is gettin on in years. and seein him in fall being so skinny and hunched really messed with him. him and i talked about B'more and all and he still keeps you in his prayers. and thanks Charlie, its good to be back javascript:void(0)
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Praise to our living Savior for all he provides and for all the days he has given us already.
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Thanks, folks.
Nursing homes are so vital today with a bulding aging population, but they put sooo much $$$ into their fascades...and so little on staffing.
I was in for Easter Dinner w/ pop. It's quite an ordeal. They dope him up to roll him around (amdist a lot of pain) and put a sling under him, then hoist him with this contraption and plop him in a big ole wheelchair...then wheel him to a feeding hall where young people feed a host of folks who can't feed themselves.
Dad gets gruel, called "pureed" food. He was in a lot of back pain thru the ordeal to get him in the chair... All he has to do is swallow the gruel, but it tires him out something awful.
We went out to the glass area to look outside... and then he said he wanted to get back in bed.
That was a painful thing to watch... as he cried out a lot, but then settled down and was pretty soon asleep.
But I try to go every day... can't when I'm not in town... and I no longer can call and talk to him as he just looses track of a conversation and can't form words well.
Only God knows why Dad continues to fight on. I appreciate prayers for him ---and for me.
Thank you one and all. If you've got folks who are aging, INVEST time with them when it can do you both good building memories. At this state, as the Hospice Chaplain put it to me, "It's a ministry of presence". Dad knows I'm there, but there is little interaction...
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Doc,
I know it's got to be really hard on you and your dad for sure. Rest assured we are praying for you and your's and when all is said and done, our Father in heaven will say: Well done,Son.
God Bless You,
Charlie
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Folks,
Perhaps an extra measure of prayer for my Dad this weekend. He is retaining fluid on his lungs...rattling like crazy and it came on fast... they're giving him more fluid pills, but tonite, he cannot eat or drink to take pills...he's struggling but won't talk or do more than follow us with his eyes. He has, among a myriad of other ailments, CHF, or congestive heart failure coming on.
I sat with him for 2 hrs this evening... watching him struggle... he's now running a low grade (100*) fever.
Hospice said it can be the "beginning of the ending" or just something of the overall decline.
I'd ask that if it's his time, the Lord bring him peace and ease any fears and take him quietly and without undo suffering. Mom went in a flash after learning of inoperable cancer, but Dad has lingered for a year in this sorry state with increasing decline. I fear he will struggle thru a bitter ending of pain and suffering unless Jesus takes him by the hand and leads him "home."
Thank you for prayers for my Dad.
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:pray: :pray:
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Doc,
I pray the Lord Knows what is best whether we see it or not.
aside of what we see in corporate America, there are things we are not told or shown for our own good.
Perhaps this is not the best comparison but its one I know you can relate to. What I am getting at is no matter what the suffering we see and the times we feel we should be angry, we need to remember, we do not know everything.
Everything happens for a reason!!!!
I pray for pop and for you to have the strength to get through whats in store and be at peace with life and death. as someone mentioned earlier, this is the circle our creator has developed.
It is both beautiful and miserable at the same time. Cry if you need to, talk if you want to and dont regret anything.
your friend
Charlie
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Praying each and every night for your Pop. May the good Lord above lay his comforting hands upon him........and lead him home peacefully.
Thy will be done......... :pray: :pray: :pray:
Winterhawk1960
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Praying for peace and comfront for both you and your dad.
In HIS service
Brother Dave...
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Thanks, Guys. No calls last night so that is a good thing.
I don't fear Dad's passing. I'm as ready as I can be, but it will still hurt of course and there will sure enough be tears! It's as Charlie said, the "circle of life". At my age, I'm next in the hopper.
Being Dad isn't communicating and can't /doesn't talk much... and of this last decline, not respoinding but with eyes, there is so much I wish I knew of his thoughts, fears or concerns that I could speak to... but whatever angst Dad lives with NOW, will be erased when he stands before Jesus and is made perfect and all-knowing.
That is my only comfort that whatever emotional suffering he's enduring locked away inside his failing body will be set right when he passes over to "home."
Still sucks to be there watching it. I will not hover about his bed unable to do or interact. Whatever is to be will be and he's getting at least basic needs met. I think Hospice will step up their involvement now next week. I will continue my regular visitation daily so that he doesn't discern some "change" and add to any panic he might feel. When time draws close, then I will be there more to ease his transition.
Pop might yet again "rally" and the dieuretic (?) pull off the fluid, but they warned me that it is a diminishing return as they increase doseage near the end.
My concerns are not for myself, only for his peace during this time where he cannot communicate. I pray God will whisper in my ear what is appropriate for ME to share with Dad to make this time easier on him...
Not to ausage my own needs, but to minister to Dads.
Lord in your Mercy...
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Doc, prayers for you and Dad.
You have it right "The whisspering words of the Lord"
Just remember we are all here for both of you ...
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Funny how flashes of insight can happen, even with limited methods of communication. Just having you there, warm and breathing, must be a comfort. Reminiscences or accounts of the day's events or discoveries add to your dad's life learning and bonding with you. We learn or help someone every day, which is the only reason I can fathom for being here. Bless you for being such a good son, and you are blessed with the learning that you are (albeit painfully) attaining through this process. You are maturing into a human that will put a joyful sparkle into the eye of our Creator.
I cannot think of a better goal.
Killdeer
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Doc,
Have ya told your Dad Thank You for your Life and being a Dad that has raised a fine caring Man...You are a good son to be right there by "Pop" as he heads Home and if you have time sitting with him and I'm sure you already may have done this by now but talk to him about those special days you and he might have had in your life..Even if there was a bad moment when he might of scolded you let him know you appreciate all the moments he has instilled in your life and you will cherrish them all...Let him also know you have come to peace with God and to go Home till you and Pops meet again..As a brother Dave I lend my shoulders to you and I lift you up for comfort as you see Pop prepare for his Homecoming...When you sit next to Pop we are all sitting next to you and remember we may not be right beside you but we want to help carry you while you feel alone...Thank you for giving us an update when you do and I have come to get a lift in life from you and your messages I pray you feel the same with us...God Bless you and keep you and you are in my prayers...Your friend Keefers <><
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Killy & Keefer,
I've not done the parting review stuff with Dad yet... My gut tells me that would freak him out.
I talked to him a few weeks back when he asked about this or that happening and that it was his poor tired body just wearing down...something the Doctor and I told him over a year ago... and again, he teared up.
Dad's not ready yet to consider checking out. I can tell... today when I was in, he was "better" in that the rattles were much subdued.
That was 3:45...by 4:15, his breathing sounded like a bag of marbles.
In between, I was doing some personal things like removing the hot full length support stockings and booties they have on him for heel sores... gently. I told him his lungs were having fluid on them...he wanted to know how I knew...I explained the rattles... and how he occassionally coughs up stuff to clear it.. and eventually he said he could hear it...
I told him not to be afraid... as it was a natural part of the aging process and his long term heart issues...and how proud I was of how long he's managed to fight thru and remain on top of these things...
Then he told me he was tired...so I turned off his TV at his request and let him rest before they brought his evening meal.
I will prayerfully KNOW when the time is right to have talks about things...I just sense that the time is not there yet... for his best interest. He's always been very, very private about those levels of emotions, but when he can, he does respond back when I tell him how much I love him before I leave.
We know. Always been a lot of "non-verbal" communication between us. Good thing. Hasn't been much verbal for a good while for him.
I will keep your words close to heart... nice image of you all being there thru prayer with me and Dad... I like that.
Thank you all. I'll try to do more "history review" with him starting tomorrow...
Thank you all!
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David,
You have been a GREAT Son. Most families are not as blessed to have children like you.
Keep up the good lords work! :thumbsup:
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Pop,
You raised a great son and he loves you much...My thoughts and prayers are with you Doc and thanks for letting us be prayer warriors for POP...We will miss him on our prayer chain Doc..God Bless you...
Keefers <><
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Doc,
I teared up reading some of the last posts. ok, i lost it. but i feel like when you go and spend time with your pop, our prayers go too, and wrap him up for a while. however, when you leave, and tell him you love him, our prayers stay, giving him the strength to get by until he gets to see you again. and trust me, i know that is the highlight of his day is seeing you. you're all hes got and you coming to see him, visit with him or just simply sit with him makes his day, i know this in my heart.
Doc, i'm only a phone call away, talked to Killy the other day, has a great conversation. miss hearin from my B'more buddies. just know that the father is always there to listen and give ya someone to lean on, as am i.
be well, big brother, and we'll get thru this.
"Keep the son in your eyes" :)
-MM
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Will do bro. Proverbs 3:5