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Main Boards => Prayers/Concerns/Honors/Ailments => Topic started by: bucknut on September 29, 2017, 01:33:00 AM

Title: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: bucknut on September 29, 2017, 01:33:00 AM
I'm not much of a sympathy seeker but need to vent a little. Yesterday morning my mother called me at work and told me my youngest brother had committed suicide. It was his 31st birthday and she was bringing him a birthday cake to find him dead from hanging himself. My poor mother! He had been fighting depression for a while and we thought he was getting better, but he said he just couldn't take it any longer. He was my best friend! I was more like a father to him because of our age difference. This is like losing one of your children. We did everything together. From chasing elk in the Rockies, Bass in Canada, food plots, tree stands, Whitetails, Spring Gobblers and small game. He was hands down the best I knew for picking the spot to kill a deer. Or he was just damn lucky. The boy could climb a light pole in a Wal Mart parking lot and kill a big one. We are learning by notes and things he had done, that he had planned this for a very long time. I had to spend all day driving today getting my kids rounded up. One in the service and one in college. In 14 hours or so of driving you can't get it out of your head. You sort of feel robbed, mad, Hurt. He wouldn't talk to me about his issues because I'm a hard ass. I get to live with that the rest of my life. I don't even Know if I'll ever be able to hunt again, because everything is going to remind me of him! Maybe I'm just being selfish. In closing. If anyone has a friend or family member that is troubled with this terrible sickness do everything in your power to help them! I didn't do enough! I'll have to live with this the rest of my life. I hope none of you ever have to! I'm gonna miss that little bastard!
John
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: pdk25 on September 29, 2017, 02:08:00 AM
I am very sorry for your lost.  Easy to say, but you are not responsible for this tragedy.  I hope that you can eventually let yourself off the hook.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: NIGEL01 on September 29, 2017, 03:28:00 AM
I agree, you can't blame yourself.  He wouldn't want you to.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: alex321 on September 29, 2017, 03:35:00 AM
There is not much one can say apart from I am  sorry for your lose and your pain.

If someone does not come to you for help, there is not much you can do and even then, maybe nothing you could have done.

My thoughts are with you and your family
Alex
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Bowguy67 on September 29, 2017, 04:55:00 AM
Bud, I lost a brother in similar fashion. He actually left no note and we don't know if it was an accident or intentional.
Been about 20 years so we may never know but I know exactly the way you feel.
In life lots of really bad things happen to us. You can stay down or try and find the positive.
I, myself have a David Mann (easy rider illustrator)
tattoo on my quad. It's a guy and his girl on a bike. They're leaving a cold wintry scene and riding into Daytona.
From split rail northern fence full of snow into palm trees and seagulls.
The road they're driving on says "It Gets Better".
Every winter turns to summer. Every night has a day. It all gets better sometime.
While I do not want to take the grieving away from you cause it's necessary try and find something positive to grasp.
Your family is gonna need that.
I said to myself during the time that least it wasn't a car accident with all my brothers in it.
Maybe weak but it made me thankful for something.
There's more but if you need to talk pm me and I'll try and help.
Prayers for you and your family during a really rough time.
I'm very sorry
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: mgf on September 29, 2017, 05:11:00 AM
I just lost a cousin to suicide. His problems had gone on for a very long time and I think those closest to him did everything that they could.

It's not reasonable or helpful to blame yourself.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Greg Szalewski on September 29, 2017, 06:05:00 AM
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Buckeye1977 on September 29, 2017, 07:27:00 AM
Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you're feeling at this point but I don't think your brother would want you to quit hunting I would think he would want you to get out there as much as possible and enjoy every minute you could!
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: fishone on September 29, 2017, 07:39:00 AM
John, I am so sorry for your loss.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: bucknut on September 29, 2017, 07:41:00 AM
Thanks guys! I have a long rough row to hoe. Getting thru visitation today and services tomorrow. He is being cremated and wants me to spread his ashes alone on a "mountain in the clouds" that we climbed together in New Mexico (Unit 53) a few years back. So we can be together one last time.

John
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: D.B Cooper on September 29, 2017, 08:11:00 AM
The reality is you and your family most likely did do everything you could for him.  The ones that are determined to end their life usually don't leave any clues leading up to it.  I'm real sorry for your loss.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Mike Vines on September 29, 2017, 10:13:00 AM
John, I just sent you a PM.  You are not alone.  Call me if you need to talk.  Many of us have been through this, and you will come through it too.

Mike
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: BenBow on September 29, 2017, 10:23:00 AM
Praying for God's comfort and helping you understand and let go so that you don't suffer for what happened. Can't blame yourself for what happened.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Sam McMichael on September 29, 2017, 10:57:00 AM
I am very sorry for your great loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: lunatic11 on September 29, 2017, 11:11:00 AM
Prayers sent for you and your family.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: BrushWolf on September 29, 2017, 11:15:00 AM
John I'm very sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Kopper1013 on September 29, 2017, 12:11:00 PM
Very sorry for your loss, that is a horrible thing to have happened. I wish you and your family the best and hope y'all can lean on each other for support.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: MW on September 29, 2017, 12:23:00 PM
Sorry for your loss...
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Tater John on September 29, 2017, 08:10:00 PM
Oh man! You have my deepest sympathy also...
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: MCNSC on September 29, 2017, 09:25:00 PM
So sad to hear this, you and your family will be in my prayers.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Doc Nock on September 30, 2017, 10:08:00 AM
From the outpouring of support here, you can tell that others grieve with you, me included. I too sent you a note (PM) and hope it may help in some small way. Time is the only true healer and a reality that God's in control.

He does not play puppet master and dance us with strings, we are in charge of our own destiny.  Things happen and individuals all react differently... Don't blame yourselves...

Each person chooses their own path.

God bless and may you soon know that peace that passes all understanding

keep the Son in your eyes!
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Bill Turner on September 30, 2017, 11:57:00 AM
Been there, know how you feel. Remember the good times. Time will heal the hurt. Live your life to the fullest, that is what your brother would want you to do. God bless you and yours.   :pray:
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: jwhitetail on September 30, 2017, 09:31:00 PM
Really sorry for your loss and I wish you and your family healing...
JW
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: wooddamon1 on September 30, 2017, 09:43:00 PM
They say time heals all wounds and while that's true to an extent, you never really feel complete after losing a brother. It does get better, however. You'll find yourself smiling or laughing your ass off at memories of him more often than tearing up at the realization that he's not going to walk around the corner into view. He'll be there on every hunt, just as he'll always be in your heart. My thoughts are with you and everyone who loves him, my sincere condolences for your loss.

Damon
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Scott E. Thomas on September 30, 2017, 11:46:00 PM
Prayers sent for the kind of comfort that only God can bring. God bless, Scott.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: bucknut on October 01, 2017, 08:28:00 AM
Thanks fellas for your kindness in my troubled times. We got thru the funeral yesterday. I took everyone to the casket afterwards. I told them we weren't going to leave this place in tears, I made them all smile before we left. I said to them his pain is gone and he is in his happy place, now we are happy for him too. It made the rest of the day so much better. I could tell it really helped my mother.

It will be a long tough pull, but we will pull thru.

Thanks, John
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Al Dente on October 01, 2017, 03:26:00 PM
John, I am so sorry for your loss, and to the others who have gone through this as well.  May he find the peace in God's kingdom that he was searching for on Earth.  I know they are merely words, but I will keep you, your family, and your brother in my prayers.
Title: Re: Worst days you can imagine
Post by: Keefer on October 01, 2017, 06:05:00 PM
So sorry John and our prayers are with you all!
 If you have some times that you and your brother shared in your younger days that were funny please share them here with us.We all have memories of mischief and things we did while growing up and I go back in time in my memory of my oldest brother and the things he did to me. Getting shot in the center of my cheeks with a pellet rifle will always be instilled in my mind and one day I pray God will let me return the pain lol but It has been forgiven and I doubt I would. It is still funny when I think of the barlow knife he gave me to shut my mouth and not  squeal to my parents.