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Main Boards => Prayers/Concerns/Honors/Ailments => Topic started by: bucknut on September 29, 2017, 01:33:00 AM
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I'm not much of a sympathy seeker but need to vent a little. Yesterday morning my mother called me at work and told me my youngest brother had committed suicide. It was his 31st birthday and she was bringing him a birthday cake to find him dead from hanging himself. My poor mother! He had been fighting depression for a while and we thought he was getting better, but he said he just couldn't take it any longer. He was my best friend! I was more like a father to him because of our age difference. This is like losing one of your children. We did everything together. From chasing elk in the Rockies, Bass in Canada, food plots, tree stands, Whitetails, Spring Gobblers and small game. He was hands down the best I knew for picking the spot to kill a deer. Or he was just damn lucky. The boy could climb a light pole in a Wal Mart parking lot and kill a big one. We are learning by notes and things he had done, that he had planned this for a very long time. I had to spend all day driving today getting my kids rounded up. One in the service and one in college. In 14 hours or so of driving you can't get it out of your head. You sort of feel robbed, mad, Hurt. He wouldn't talk to me about his issues because I'm a hard ass. I get to live with that the rest of my life. I don't even Know if I'll ever be able to hunt again, because everything is going to remind me of him! Maybe I'm just being selfish. In closing. If anyone has a friend or family member that is troubled with this terrible sickness do everything in your power to help them! I didn't do enough! I'll have to live with this the rest of my life. I hope none of you ever have to! I'm gonna miss that little bastard!
John
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I am very sorry for your lost. Easy to say, but you are not responsible for this tragedy. I hope that you can eventually let yourself off the hook.
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I agree, you can't blame yourself. He wouldn't want you to.
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There is not much one can say apart from I am sorry for your lose and your pain.
If someone does not come to you for help, there is not much you can do and even then, maybe nothing you could have done.
My thoughts are with you and your family
Alex
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Bud, I lost a brother in similar fashion. He actually left no note and we don't know if it was an accident or intentional.
Been about 20 years so we may never know but I know exactly the way you feel.
In life lots of really bad things happen to us. You can stay down or try and find the positive.
I, myself have a David Mann (easy rider illustrator)
tattoo on my quad. It's a guy and his girl on a bike. They're leaving a cold wintry scene and riding into Daytona.
From split rail northern fence full of snow into palm trees and seagulls.
The road they're driving on says "It Gets Better".
Every winter turns to summer. Every night has a day. It all gets better sometime.
While I do not want to take the grieving away from you cause it's necessary try and find something positive to grasp.
Your family is gonna need that.
I said to myself during the time that least it wasn't a car accident with all my brothers in it.
Maybe weak but it made me thankful for something.
There's more but if you need to talk pm me and I'll try and help.
Prayers for you and your family during a really rough time.
I'm very sorry
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I just lost a cousin to suicide. His problems had gone on for a very long time and I think those closest to him did everything that they could.
It's not reasonable or helpful to blame yourself.
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My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
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Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you're feeling at this point but I don't think your brother would want you to quit hunting I would think he would want you to get out there as much as possible and enjoy every minute you could!
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John, I am so sorry for your loss.
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Thanks guys! I have a long rough row to hoe. Getting thru visitation today and services tomorrow. He is being cremated and wants me to spread his ashes alone on a "mountain in the clouds" that we climbed together in New Mexico (Unit 53) a few years back. So we can be together one last time.
John
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The reality is you and your family most likely did do everything you could for him. The ones that are determined to end their life usually don't leave any clues leading up to it. I'm real sorry for your loss.
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John, I just sent you a PM. You are not alone. Call me if you need to talk. Many of us have been through this, and you will come through it too.
Mike
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Praying for God's comfort and helping you understand and let go so that you don't suffer for what happened. Can't blame yourself for what happened.
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I am very sorry for your great loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
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Prayers sent for you and your family.
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John I'm very sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy.
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Very sorry for your loss, that is a horrible thing to have happened. I wish you and your family the best and hope y'all can lean on each other for support.
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Sorry for your loss...
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Oh man! You have my deepest sympathy also...
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So sad to hear this, you and your family will be in my prayers.
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From the outpouring of support here, you can tell that others grieve with you, me included. I too sent you a note (PM) and hope it may help in some small way. Time is the only true healer and a reality that God's in control.
He does not play puppet master and dance us with strings, we are in charge of our own destiny. Things happen and individuals all react differently... Don't blame yourselves...
Each person chooses their own path.
God bless and may you soon know that peace that passes all understanding
keep the Son in your eyes!
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Been there, know how you feel. Remember the good times. Time will heal the hurt. Live your life to the fullest, that is what your brother would want you to do. God bless you and yours. :pray:
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Really sorry for your loss and I wish you and your family healing...
JW
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They say time heals all wounds and while that's true to an extent, you never really feel complete after losing a brother. It does get better, however. You'll find yourself smiling or laughing your ass off at memories of him more often than tearing up at the realization that he's not going to walk around the corner into view. He'll be there on every hunt, just as he'll always be in your heart. My thoughts are with you and everyone who loves him, my sincere condolences for your loss.
Damon
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Prayers sent for the kind of comfort that only God can bring. God bless, Scott.
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Thanks fellas for your kindness in my troubled times. We got thru the funeral yesterday. I took everyone to the casket afterwards. I told them we weren't going to leave this place in tears, I made them all smile before we left. I said to them his pain is gone and he is in his happy place, now we are happy for him too. It made the rest of the day so much better. I could tell it really helped my mother.
It will be a long tough pull, but we will pull thru.
Thanks, John
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John, I am so sorry for your loss, and to the others who have gone through this as well. May he find the peace in God's kingdom that he was searching for on Earth. I know they are merely words, but I will keep you, your family, and your brother in my prayers.
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So sorry John and our prayers are with you all!
If you have some times that you and your brother shared in your younger days that were funny please share them here with us.We all have memories of mischief and things we did while growing up and I go back in time in my memory of my oldest brother and the things he did to me. Getting shot in the center of my cheeks with a pellet rifle will always be instilled in my mind and one day I pray God will let me return the pain lol but It has been forgiven and I doubt I would. It is still funny when I think of the barlow knife he gave me to shut my mouth and not squeal to my parents.