Reading through the many posts wishing you well, I see many whom have very discretly offered you advice about seeking God as the ultimate friend and partner.
I won't be as discret as some,
You need Jesus, You need him as LORD of your life.
He can make the crooked places straight, and bring the high places low, but He must be first in your life and commander of your will.
Before you even consider another intimate relationship, you need to get intimate with the Creator. That's my 2 cents in love.
In His Love and Service,
peace