Prayers with you, Kenny.
I will add that it's nice to see our best prayer warriors also admitting to what is universal. It's easy to get to the point where we think we're the only one losing the battle of will over sins of the flesh. The Liar wants it that way. He wants us to feel alone and isolated. He wants us to be down on ourselves. We cannot long exist constantly exhorting ourselves for being "wet" as Possum put it so uniquely. It tears us down.
Christ wants us to feel His love and adoring nature and then radiate that to others. No small task for us mere mortals...but if it was easy, Christ wouldn't have had to die for us, would he?
As a minister once put it that sticks with me, "...when everything starts to go wrong...and you lose your way, thinking that God's abandoned you and you've lost touch with Him, realize that it may just be the Devil sees how you're growing closer to Christ and walking closer with Him, so the Liar has to ramp up his efforts to knock you down and win you back into darkness through his deceit. So when things are dark, rejoice and offer a praise sacrifice for it means you've gotten the devil's attention with your efforts to become more like Christ!"
As so many of us, I'm right there with you for many reasons and I join in your prayers for guidance, perseverance, strength and resolve to stay the course.