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Author Topic: More Help  (Read 1448 times)

Offline Curtiss Cardinal

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More Help
« on: September 17, 2008, 06:56:00 PM »
Well my guess for why things have gone oblong is that I have been willfull and not let go and let God. I need to ask your prayers that the Lord guide me to where and what he wants me as regards my career and the rest of my life. I don't trust my own judgement at all because I haven't made a good decision since I left California, maybe even longer. I'm praying for forgiveness and guidence pretty much constantly but I do not hear the still, small voice or feel a push in any direction. I have the feeling I need to go someplace else; but I don't know if that is me or God's urging and I have no direction which is what leads me to think it's me. I've stepped out of my comfort zone and applied to OTR trucking companies but not responce as yet. I'm applying for jobs I have no experience(maybe related experience) in but nothing is happening. I am really at the end of my rope. I didn't have the my last job, from which I was wrongfully fired, long enough to get out of the hole from my last bout of un- and under employment. I'll say it plainly, I need a miracle. to use a metaphor I never thought I'd apply to my life, I seem to have painted myself into a corner.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. ~Mark Twain
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Offline Doc Nock

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Re: More Help
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2008, 08:12:00 PM »
Curtiss,

Glad to see you back here. We've been praying for you amongst ourselves...keeping your old thread alive here and there. Sent you an email of my own.

If you've read through some of my recent stuff, you know I was on a major high, feeling God in every step in my life till 9/11 when the company called 4 weeks after putting me in the relocation process, I'd found and paid out $2500 for a place to live there and the movers had been hired by them to be here in 11 days!...and the they "reorganized and elminated my job!"

I'm screwed too..no health insur. Turned down Cobra, burned 2/3 of my rollover cell minutes looking for housing and networking with the company regulary on my dime... lots of other unreimbursed expenses...

... not trying to compete with your delemma, just commisserate that I DO KNOW where you are...and how lost you might feel. I feel like my dog died!

Feel like somehow, my worth went in the toilet and somehow, it must be my fault.

Folks here and elsewhere are really helping me see that when things go wrong..sometimes, it's just a satan attack to wedge himself between us and God when we're getting too close to leaning on our Lord.

I know it. I'm fighting feeling it's my fault. I'm not sure it's YOUR FAULT either, bro!

We've got to keep doing what we can do on our end...turning over rocks...but some will just be freakin stones! Meanwhile, we've got to get back believing we're loved by our Lord and He wants the best for us...

His plan never follows our timetable... and I'm thinking that the closer to the bottom I get, the more chance I will surrender totally...and maybe that is the purpose in it all?!

God didn't say he'd not let us suffer...or be tested...but He promised we'd not get more than we can take...more than we ever want or THINK we can take... but only He knows when is enough.

Keep the Son in your eyes...you've got my email if it'd help to vent...

later, bro...
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Offline BenBow

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Re: More Help
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2008, 11:02:00 PM »
Prayers continue for both of you and all others who are going through such tough heart stretching.
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But his bow will remain steady, and his hands will be skillful; because of the hands of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel,  (Genesis 49:24 [NETfree])

Offline TexMex

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Re: More Help
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2008, 07:45:00 AM »
Prayers are continuing for the two of you.

God Bless
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Offline Doc Nock

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Re: More Help
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2008, 10:18:00 AM »
I'm sure we're not alone... and surely didn't want to take the light off Curtiss...just to help you see, Curtiss, that you're not alone...

Curtiss...make sure you come here often... right now you're sounding pretty hard on yourself... and while we can always "do better" in our walk, nothing is gained by beating on ourselves till we're punch drunk and can't see straight... it only plays into the Liar's hands to beat ourselves down... when we feel bad enough, we can't imagine God would have anything to do with us and then Satan pounces!

Fight him! Fight the self incrimination. Sometimes, "Stuff happens!"  :(  Sucks, but it's no more than that!

Keep the Son in your eyes, bro... keep in touch with us!
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The words "Child" and "terminal illness" should never share the same sentence! Those who care-do, others question!

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Offline bear1336

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Re: More Help
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2008, 10:22:00 AM »
Prayers for the Lords guidance sent from Georgia.

In HIS service
Dave
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out, with bible in hand and loudly proclaim...WOW...What a Ride!!!

Offline oneshot-onekill

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Re: More Help
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2008, 04:57:00 AM »
Prayers sent for Curtiss, Doc and all those being affected by lost jobs.
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Proverbs 16:9
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Terry Barker

Offline Curtiss Cardinal

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Re: More Help
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2008, 07:56:00 PM »
I'm going up Monday to apply for food stamps; but Ineed God to pour me out a blessing from Heaven to meet my bills as I am told broke, well almost. Lord I leave it your strong hands.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. ~Mark Twain
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Offline BenBow

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Re: More Help
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2008, 10:22:00 PM »
Amen to not beating up on yourself. Here's what Jesus taught me back when I was coming out of drugs and starting to see what kind of jerk I was. I'll try to paraphrase what I heard in my spirit.

"Take it from a Carpenter, if you beat your hand with the hammer every time you bent the nail, you never will drive it straight."

Prayers for Grace, wisdom, and God's blessing.
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But his bow will remain steady, and his hands will be skillful; because of the hands of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel,  (Genesis 49:24 [NETfree])

Offline Doc Nock

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Re: More Help
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2008, 01:08:00 PM »
No shame in allowing the system to assist you through a tough time... We're with you in Spirit and prayer...tough on the ego, but a necessary thing for the very good reason such things were designed..."Hand up" not a Hand out"

You will repay this in spades when this trial is  over in taxes... accept that manna which is provided for you and the family.

Keep the Son in your eyes, Curtiss!
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The words "Child" and "terminal illness" should never share the same sentence! Those who care-do, others question!

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Offline Curtiss Cardinal

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Re: More Help
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2008, 12:04:00 AM »
MY comPUTER IS NOW MESSEd uP ANd going back tO dell fOR REPAIr, tHAT IS WHY i am haviNg caps IN Weird pLACEs. aLSO i can't pAy my phone?intErNet bilL SO I'LL bE OFFLINe FOr a While. please Know i Ask gOd to bless you all and to meET alL tHE neEDs On thE prayEr liSt heRe. thanks So mUch guyS, Hopefully my tiMe aWAy fROM THe tradgang wiLl bE brief.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. ~Mark Twain
TGMM Family of The Bow

Offline TexMex

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Re: More Help
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2008, 07:33:00 AM »
God Bless you Bro.
Prayers sent.
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Online GRAYBEARD

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Re: More Help
« Reply #12 on: September 24, 2008, 02:32:00 PM »
HANG IN THERE, CURTIS! NONE OF US ARE ALONE, KEEP REACHING.
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Offline Doc Nock

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Re: More Help
« Reply #13 on: September 24, 2008, 05:59:00 PM »
HOpe you get back to the library like before and use their computer to keep the job search going and to keep in touch with us!

Prayers up my friend...

Keep the Son in your eyes!
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The words "Child" and "terminal illness" should never share the same sentence! Those who care-do, others question!

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Offline Curtiss Cardinal

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Re: More Help
« Reply #14 on: October 13, 2008, 04:12:00 PM »
Well no phone now so I don't know how potential employers can reach me. Oddly enough my internet connection is still up. I think it's just an oversight by AT&T that will be found at any second. I am still fighting to be rid of this ocean of depression I find myself in. I can't see the shore nor any lighthouse to show me the way past the rocks. It looks like I may have to sell my bows and arrows in order to meet bills. I am nearing the end of my rope. My faith has never been challenged so greatly. I've never felt so far from God. My prayers, when I can even bring myself to pray are selfish and petty, "forgive me my sins and hear my prayer and grant me a blessing, I know I don't deserve anything. I need the windows of Heavan opened and blessings poured out all over my life."
I find it hard to pray at all and then when I do I find I never pray for anyone but myself anymore. I'm sorry. I'm just venting here. I'm try to purge myself of meloncholy and doubt and anger and remorse. Thanks you for your prayers and kind words.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. ~Mark Twain
TGMM Family of The Bow

Offline Doc Nock

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Re: More Help
« Reply #15 on: October 13, 2008, 05:07:00 PM »
Dang, Hoss..hate reading those words... why? Cause I live with similar battles since the job in Pittsburgh blew up in my face right before i moved out there... not quite to your level though..just the same symptoms time to time.

I think it's ok to pray for oneself in the belly of the whale! I tend to feel so forlorn about me, I have to pray for everyone else and let others pray for me... I still "talk" to God regularly, Curtiss, but He already knows my needs, so I just keep it simple the more complicated things get.

Someone once commented in my presence that when all is bleak it's time to offer up a "praise sacrifice"...and it's not a sacrifice if it doesn't cost you something!  

Meaning that when there seems to little to be grateful for...do inventory!! We often find it could be a LOT worse..not in comparitive societal ways, but in terms of reality!

I know that is true for me. I managed to retain my home here, was released by caring landlords for the place rented there, I didn't end up moving and unpacking to be let go within weeks...and destitute in a new area...and then I realize how much more I have to be grateful for.

We both still need jobs, big time... But God doesn't ask for us to do more than be 'faith-filled' And that can be the hardest thing we've ever done in the face of adversity...

Chip Jones just sent me these:

Romans 12: 12-13
Hebrews 10: 32-34
Collosians 3: 14
Matthew 6: 19-21
Jeremiah 20, 29: 7
Lamentations 3: 22-26
I Timothy 2: 1-4

Give them a read..helped center me today. Thanks, Chip!
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The words "Child" and "terminal illness" should never share the same sentence! Those who care-do, others question!

TGMM Family of the Bow

Sasquatch LB

Offline Benha

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Re: More Help
« Reply #16 on: October 13, 2008, 05:41:00 PM »
C2 hope you get this. I too made a terrible decision and your story mirrors mine very much. I'm praying for you.
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Offline TexMex

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Re: More Help
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2008, 07:31:00 AM »
I continue praying for you Bro.

God Bless
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Offline BenBow

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Re: More Help
« Reply #18 on: October 14, 2008, 07:50:00 AM »
Still praying regularly for you all.

2 Chronicles 15:7
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

Amen to Doc's praise in the midst of the trial. That is the work you are to do now. It opens the door to the healing of your heart. I've fought depression all my life and praise when I don't feel like it is the most empowering thing one can do. I use praise to take the anger I feel and spite the enemy that caused all the evil in my life. This gets rid of the anger which is the root of depression. By the way did I say this was easy? God's best to you all.
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But his bow will remain steady, and his hands will be skillful; because of the hands of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel,  (Genesis 49:24 [NETfree])
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