Back in August I applied for a job in North West BC to be a bylaw enforcement officer. They short listed me from 25 applicants to 4, interviewed me, and flew me up to tour the town on October 17. I was to know the decision by the 21st of October. When I had not heard by the 24 I phoned to inquire. Turns out the gent responsible for the final decision went on vacation for a month. So there I sat, my own personal limbo for the last 5 weeks. During this time, my wife was offered several other better paying jobs herself, which she selflessly declined in the hopeful prospect we would be relocating. Last week she applied for a transfer to another bank branch closer to home, she did not get it because her manager told the hiring comittee at the other branch that we were moving (still not a for sure thing), so don't bother hiring her. This greatly upset my sweetheart as she feels she gives a lot of herself to the bank, going far above and beyond, and is not appreciated where she is at.
Today the stress pile got ever deeper. I learned that the individual responsible for the hiring decision concerning my job would return on the 24th of November. So after 3 days of not hearing from him, I called him. I felt very confident that the job was essentially mine to decline, as this is how he made it sound at the airport upon my departure. Today he told me there were some "misgivings" about me as I seemed very reserved, despite displaying confidence during the phone interview. I am not a real social guy, I take a while to warm up to people, I am reserved by nature sure. However I am confident in my job performance, and we are talking about relocating to a whole new town, and lifestyle over 20 hours away. A complete career change, my entire future being decided by three individuals I have never met, I think a reserved demeanor is justified. He also mentioned they may now want to re-interview another candidate and fly him up there as well. I felt completly gut-punched. I feel like they have dangled me around for the last 5 weeks, played with and teased me with no regard to the effects on my life. All plans with friends and family included the addendumn "if we haven't moved by then", other jobs were turned down, hunting plans put on hold, I have been completly distracted by this whold thing for weeks.
To top it all off, the cherry on this ill tasting sundae... My 83 year old WW2 vetern grandfather passed on this evening. I received the call while building arrows, trying to distract my mind from the job related call. He was a carpenter, a craftsman, member of the 1st Canadian light infantry during WWII, also known as the Red Patch Devils. My grandad was as Irish as they come, tough as nails, stubborn as an ox, but always with a smile. That blood definetly courses through me. I remeber him telling me when he was growing up in Quebec he would have to cross a bridge every morning to go to school. Every morning the french canadian kids would be coming from the other direction across the bridge. They would meet in the middle and the irish kids,and the fracophones would scrap it out, Grandad described the scene with slightly more colorful language, and us Irish always won! I find it more amusing now that I am married to a Villeneuve from Lac St Jean Quebec. We are going to have some darn stubborn, hell raising kids.
Writing this has made me feel a lot beter already. Tommorrow I think I will go to the church, light a candle for Grandad. I know the Lord will hear my prayers, but a few extra from my brothers of the bow couldn't hurt. If you could include a little post script for my own sanity it would be appreciated, I don't know how much more I can take. I am starting to buckle under it all, I need some awnsers, some certainty, I need the Lord to hear me and show me his chosen path for me.
Thanks for the ear, good hunting my friends
Topic: overwhelmed (Read 1130 times)
