Have to throw in the towel

[Arwin]

Well after a lifetime of hunting I have to throw in the towel.
 I'm facing near divorce and was informed from my mother in law that I need to "grow up" because I spend too much time in the woods(even though I usually take the kids with me). The wife informed me that she in facts "hates hunting" and for the last 10 years has "put up" with it. She even told me she hates camping.

 I'm beside myself right now, bowhunting is every part of me and fused into our children. I always took time with the family inside and outside of the seasons. All along I though it was ok because I was never informed that I had been doing anything wrong.

 I love my wife, problem is that she doesn't have any hobbies so it would seem mine over rides everything.

 I guess I just need to vent and am walking away until something makes it easier to enjoy the outdoors. 20yrs with the same person is hard to walk away from and I'd rather not loose her. Very confused, hurt and sad.

[BenBow]

Prayers for wisdom and God's best

[Doc Nock]

Not a time to make important choices.

People in pain lash out. Don't count what's on the surface right now to be the root cause.

It may be far removed from the hunting and camping but when those who are closest wish to strike a blow, they know our heart and where we are most vulnerable.

Focus on the person, not the "reasons" for as time unfolds, there will be greater light shed, I'm guessing.

Take that time away to be with God, in prayer, and ask for His Direction, Discernment and healing for the wife and your relationship.

This is a difficult road but one you can survive!

Keep the Son in your eyes!

[snakebit40]

Praying for you and your family

[CoilSpring]

Well said Doc...

Praying for you Arwin...we all need to "heed our time" with the true priorities in life, and the life thereafter.

[Rookie@51]

I love my wife, problem is that she doesn't have any hobbies!!!!!
 
How well I feel you pain in this area. I have had my wife for some 32 years and this is true for her as well. There was a time when I had to almost give up hunting as it caused too much trouble in the household. It was after my son got old enough to hunt with me that I started hunting again a little. My kids are grown now and I am once again hunting more and more and she is alright with that for the most part. She has come to realize that me being gone hunting is not because I don't want to spend time with her, this is a time to be alone with myself and alone with my Heavenly Father. I have come home from hunting and shared things that God was able to communicate with me because I was still and quite. Two very important things when we are trying to hear while hunting and also when we are seeking a word from God. I will pray for you and your family because it would be my natural reaction to tell her to get over it, that is what I do and she knew it from the start. But that would only cause ya'll to have more stress in an already stressed relationship. You need to take her somewhere or just arrange for the two of you to get alone without all the distractions of life and talk this thing out. Maybe take her away for a weekend and shower her with your attention and get her away from all the stresses that pull her in all directions. That has worked well for my wife and I in the past. She wants something from you and you want to understand where she is coming from. Commit to not getting mad or angry at one another but to be respectable and to see the other's point of view and develope a plan that works for you both. We all get consummed by things sometimes and we need to step back and see it from another's point of view. God want you to have a GREAT marriage and he will bless your efforts to strengthen it. God bless you and yours.......Dusty

[PaPaFrank]

Arwin,
       I am very sorry to hear of the troubles you're having, I know how much bowhunting and the outdoors mean to you and the kids. I will keep you and the family in my prayers...

[Pops]

Arwin, your in my prayers. If you need someone
to talk to just give me a call.

[BRITTMAN]

Arwin Ive been thru simular situations and not just with hunting . Its difficult alot of times to know if your at fault or if your just getting craped on by others . What I have found to be true is that most of the time it both to some degree . I ask God to show me my faults and to help me deal with others when im being treated wrong/unfairly (the way he wants you to deal with them ) . I will pray for guidance for you ,

Mike

[tarponnut]

Women(and I mean specifically women) know just what to say to hurt us deeply.
As they say, "words are sharper than knives".

This is just my opinion, but I doubt she means what she says in regards to hunting and camping.
(Especially since you involve the kids so much in your passion for the outdoors).Ethical hunting is nothing anyone should ever have to apologize for .

I would highly suggest counseling through the church (or a marriage counselor).
Hang in there brother, I'm praying for you.

[OBXarcher]

You are not alone my brother. There are thousands of guys in the exact same situation. If it wasn't hunting, it would be guns, cars, video games, whatever. As long as it's not other women that occupy your time you are good. You only have one go around on this big rock, make it count.

I am on my second marriage, I hear the same stuff. She is an awesome woman and I will have her forever. Just need to make time for both not give up either.

[T Folts]

Arwin
I would suggest you two find a good christian counselor it may not be about the hunting.
I'll send a pm. I'll pray that this gets sorted out.
Terry

[Cyclic-Rivers]

Arwin,

Prayers for acceptance, Patience and understanding.

[GRINCH]

Arwin spend the time to work things out,communication is the key to a happy marriage,spend time with the wife and kids thats not outdoor related.

[Arwin]

Thank you all for helpful input and prayers. At the time I posted this I was an emotional wreck.

 There have been other factors in all of this esp with the economy. It's really taking a toll and the last few years we have been fighting it tooth and nail.

 I do have to admit that the last 5-6 years I have been obsessed with deer hunting. Public land hunting takes alot of time with scouting all year and then when season hits, it was all out full throttle hunting. I was so focused on trying to get those big mature bucks to the point of an addiction.  
 
 We are totally opposite when it comes to our personal interests but she seemed happy to let me do my thing. Maybe I took too much advantage of it?

 I suppose if the wife talked about Shakespeare 365 days a year, I would go crazy too.    

 I have decided to take some time doing activities outside of the outdoor lifestyle. It's a much needed break and am learning alot about my wife and myself.      

 The most difficult part of taking a break is this is our sons first year legal to bowhunt deer. It was such a blessing to see my daughter arrow her first deer at the age of 10 and was chomping at the bit to see Jr get a chance.

 Thankfully I am now employed full time working 5 days one week and 6 the next. It's a heavy work load but hopefully it will take the edge off.    

[BenBow]

Praise God

[Doc Nock]

Sounds like you've got the trail marked well that lies ahead, now to have the courage to follow it out! Thank you, Lord!!

You will never regret striking a balance. That is a lesson worth Gold to teach your son as well.

Balance and priorities. Some of us go the other extreme and deny much too much, for too little, for too long, to try to preserve what is.

That latter strikes me, looking at myself, as not having much Faith to 'step out'.

Life is all about balance. God, family, self, work.  Addiction is about self.

Congrats on your insights. May God continue to press in on you to show you more and more and help you achieve that "balance."

Might be something that your bride would even help you develop if you were to ask?

Keep the Son in your eyes!

[GRINCH]

Congrats Arwin I'm glad things are working out.