Demons we can't get away from...

[motormouth]

Last ya'll heard, I was doing well in my struggle. I have since lost a dear friend of my family, Mr. Don Howie. He resided in NC and was an inspiration to me as a "young whippersnapper" (as Killie would call me) due to the fact that he could wiggle his ears. Doesn't seem like much but to a 5 yr old, that was it! He always told me that god wanted him goffy, so he made his ears "flappable".

Needless to say, this was a blow to my whole family. I think though my father took it the hardest besides me.

I knew it wouldn't solve anything but I drank my sorrows away. As soon as the bottle touched my lips, it was so natural. I felt at ease taking swigs.

The next day was hard, for i had been doing soo good at resist the temptation. I called up an old man in my AA, my sponsor Bill and told him what i had done. He told me that while it wasn't ok, i shouldn't beat myself up, as i have a tendency to do.

Prayers for this continued struggle which i fear may never get easier.

Special Shout out to Bill, Who has helped me thru alot.

[Doc Nock]

Bucko,

We've told you here often enough that you're your own worst enemy...and the devil himself likely brought liquor into your life to calm the hatred you heap on your own head.

Gus McCrae would put a boot in your butt. You're not living when you're bombed... and you're not accomplishing anything when you beat on yourself so mercilessly.

You might think you're something of a different religion that Presby, boy...the way you engage in self flagellation.

Ease up. You're going to screw up. We all do! Each in our own way... falling off the wagon is not excusable, but it's understandable and almost predictable!

Once you find a way to be more forgiving of your own humanity, you might find you don't take things so hard and fall down so far!

Sorry for Don Howie's passing... but it's the natural part of life... it ain't dying we're talking about here, it's livin!

Take life by the horns and ride it and enjoy life...don't waste days or nights being in a stupor to not feel! FEEL! Taste it! Drink the elixir of LIFE! Not things which numb it... embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly! That's what life is: a balance!

Now get back up, dust yourself off and start counting over...each time you'll do better...unless you beat yourself silly!

KEEP the Son in your eyes!

[Rookie@51]

Well my young friend I have started this 2 times now and have lost it both times. First I am truly sorry for the loss of such a dear friend. But like Doc said above it is part of the cycle of life. So the question I have to ask you and one you should ask yourself; Are you going to get wasted every time one of them dies? I mean what did you get from putting your lips on that bottle and drinking that stuff? I can tell you the one thing you got out of it was a guilt trip from the very one who told you it was the right thing to do. So from where I'm sitting it makes him two faced. A lie to get you to do something he will beat you up about again and again. So I guess the thing you really need to work on is tuning your hearing to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit louder that the voice of self/devil. Old sin self against New infilled Spirit self. I bet you didn't take that first drink without hearing that it was not the thing to do. Yielding to self desire once again drags you down into the muck and mire from where you just got out of and cleaned up from. So again like Doc said, Pick yourself up out of the muck and mire  and wipe the mud off your face, get on your knees before God the Father and ask His forgiveness of which He will give you and step forward and keep facing the SON and He will direct your path.......I will continue to pray for you to get past this thing just like everyone of us here have beaten an addiction we have had and/or still battle. One prayer at a time and one day at a time.......Dusty

[Big Ed]

Keep your head up ! Prayers sent

[Al Dente]

We are human, not machines.  We have tendencies, and some are not good for us.  But, you reconized the error of your ways, and that is important during your journey towards sobriety.  Prayers sent to you.

[T Lail]

Matthew,we all make mistakes and fulfill self over Saviour....satan will tell you all kind of lies to fill your head every day....Dusty is right, the one in you is stronger than the one in the world.......pray, confess, repent and start over.....we are never perfect, just forgiven.......

[Doc Nock]

Originally posted by T Lail:
Matthew,we all make mistakes and fulfill self over Saviour....satan will tell you all kind of lies to fill your head every day....Dusty is right, the one in you is stronger than the one in the world.......pray, confess, repent and start over.....we are never perfect, just forgiven.......

Amen, MM... T Lail said it well.