I don't know how one gets past this without faith in God. After losing Paula, I often find myself trying to live for two. I try to take in all that this life has to offer. My wife used to go to Florida on vacation with her sisters while I stayed home with our five kids. A few years ago I went down there and walked the beach she walked, sat on the fishing pier where she sat, and went into the pool and laid on the deck deck where she sun bathed etc. My eyes have also seen great vistas in Alaska, Utah, Montana, and Colorado with the feel of her by my side, even though she would never have been there in life. Bottom line, I feel like she is with me on every hunt, and beside me at every dinner table where wild game is served that fell to my arrows. Peace, Mike