You know, she probably has a point. You're carrer could be better if you put more into it. The thing she seems to be missing is that your work is not your passion, and that is the way it is for most of us.
For her, if work is truly her passion, and she enjoys throwing herself into it, that's fine, and she is very lucky. But for most people, like yourself, me, and most others I know, their true passions in life are something other than work.
When life is over, those who have devoted themselves to whatever their passions were are the ones who will die fullfilled and happy. Very few people on their deathbed wish they had spent more of their life working.
I hope you and your wife are able to talk this out so that both of you understand each other and it doesn't become a problem between you. Keep the communication going, and work hard at it. It is an issue you will ultimately need to resolve.