A Decision (?) NOT to kill??

[Follower]

Hey Doc - I've been in the place you are many times.  Life is tough and it just seems to get all the tougher instead of easier so when I am carrying a heavy burden - be it personal issues, family issues, work loads, whatever - I sometimes lose the joy of the hunt or other times, the fine-tuned predator instinct.  I question myself, my motives, my priorities, all that.  Usually what heals me is time - time to just be.  Time to sit and think, to pray, to listen for that still small voice of my Father.  And I usually find that time in the woods.  So while I heal - I have learned to be content and just "be" - whatever that is.  I notice that when I try to fit hunting into my busy schedule I feel that way to varying degrees.  But when I can carve out a couple days or a week just to be a hunter - its completely different.  That's why my hunting vacations are so precious to me these days because I know healing is coming.  

So Doc - maybe you can't get to that better place today or this week or even anytime soon but know that a new season is coming.  Know that Jesus will carry you through.  Know that you will come home soon enough when things will be right and you will be ready to harvest again.

Until then - keep the broadheads sharp!

[FBB]

I lost my Dad on April 14th 1996 and ever since then I have not felt the same way about bow hunting in fact I stopped for 6 years but missed the feeling of getting every thing ready you know making arrows, practicing, sharpening broadheads... And though I take all that very serious I still can't find that feeling I once had and the last deer I shot was on November 14th 1995 and maybe I want that to be my last deer since my dad was with me to track it. In two weeks I am going with my brother to North Dakota and I am looking forward to the adventure with him but deep down inside I know I will be coming back with a unused tag and that's just fine for me. I guess what I'm just trying to say is if you don't kill something it's still OK some times the hunt without the last step will still make you feel fulfilled.

[Hud]

I lost my dad at 87, that was in 2006. He was in a nursing home, and went peacefully one night. It is part of life we cannot change.

However, we can change things we have some control over, and if you feel like your loosing something from hunting, your probably ready to make a change. You might think about still hunting for awhile, without the Gillie suit. Walk like a man, think like one, even smell like one. Challenge yourself, hunt for the experience, for the enjoyment, be selective and if the season is near the end, and you still feel compelled to put meat in the freezer, then hunt from a blind or stand, or put the Gillie suit back on and take the first legal deer that comes along.

As for allergies and sinus problems, I have been through it and sympathize with the way your feeling. It is no fun, to feel lousy all the time. In my case, medications did not work, and using antibotics because the doc says, here try this one, is certainly no prescription to a healthy life.

In my case, I went through two different series of allergy treatments. The test and results were not conclusive the first time, and that is why I did it the second time a few years later. I discovered that allergies develop from too much exposure to things I was using daily, or are exposed too daily. The list is too long to list here, but it included just about anything on plant earth. Once I got the allegies under control the sinus infections stopped.

If you haven't been tested, talk to your doctor about getting tested, especially since he mentioned their possibility as the underlying cause. At least the processes will identify whether treatments are necessary or not.

[DannyBows]

Originally posted by Mr.Magoo:
"Killing is often tinged with sadness, maybe your sad meter is full".

 Doc, that line touched me deeply too. With your father and your own health issues it's amazing to me you got out at all. Maybe it's just the getting out that is what you need, a time-out from the stresses of life. You feel the pressure to make a kill out of a lifetime of habit. Maybe shorten your outings, relax and enjoy it as a diversion. When it feels right, take the shot. Sounds to me like a fun time anyway, lots of face-to-face action. If you need the meat that's different. Do you have someone near to help if you make a kill?
Things will smooth out for you, they always do.  I'll add you to my Prayers.

[stik&string]

Doc, there is already a lot of good advice and theories here so I just want to add that you and your father will be in my prayers.

[TSP]

Doc, you're ok in my book.  I'd hunt with you any time... even if we both decided not to shoot anything.

[Wapiti Chaser]

You will take one when it feels right. Until then enjoy the time in God's creation.

[Bonebuster]

Be brave.

Keep on keeping on.

[bolong]

I've passed up several shots this year at does and yearlings. There's nothing wrong with that,hang in there, when the time is right you'll know it. It's not all about shooting an animal. You and your Dad are in my prayers.

[MCNSC]

God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes we dont understand or like the way things are going. But often you can look back and see that events took you in a particular direction and there seems to be reason to the madness. At any rate you and your father are in my prayers.
 Me and the quy I hunt with joke about no shots or misses as having all the fun wothout the work. Heck after the kill is a lot of work probably in the back of your mind you knew you wernt up to it at the time.
God bless

[Doc Nock]

Thanks to all, old friends on here and new.

I guess I knew that if I posted, I'd get a lot of wonderful support and input and thought-provoking feedback.

You've all helped tremendously. You made me stop and reflect without all the emotion that was attached initially--- I guess you helped me be more objective.

I've noted before that when things are 'unsettled' in life, my instinct to kill is always diminished. As a boy growing up in the farm community, I know if you want to eat it, "you gotta kill it whether it's a carrot or a cow!"

I've always felt the reality of a life I take very seriously, which is why I process my own deer entirely... I owe it to them.

Truth is that a couple hours after I take these danged anti-biotics, I get pretty sick in the gut and feel all sorts of "odd" (EZ, Killie, I know I AM odd, but this is different!)      :rolleyes:  

I couldn't put it together all the rest of the weekend or into MOnday, but reading all the great notes, brought it in focus.

My Sad Meter is pretty full...and it has to be something pretty serious to merit the taking of a life right now... and then given the work after the shot, I'm ok in the AM, but later in the day... not so much.

First 2 weekends, I left the woods early for the same reason...this time, I stayed.

Funny... I was more excited to have the ghillie suit work well inside 15 yards than I was to make meat. Got a few more outings to go and hopefully, when the meds clear my system, I can get back to enjoying the pursuit of my winter's meat and the effort involved that I've always enjoyed.

Again, thanks to all my old and new friends for the posts, emails and PMs.  By admitting to some sense of ambivilance, I've been blessed in many ways.  Thank you All!!!      

[Jerry Jeffer]

You are in your right mind Doc. You will do as you need when the time is right.

[George Vernon]

Doc,
Many good thoughts have been shared by a number of members.

I've noticed since I retired a few years ago, my attitude toward taking a shot has changed.  Prior to retirement hunting was serious business and not enough time to do it well.  So I'd make the trip thinking find deer, shoot same.  And I would come home whipped due to the amount of energy I put into the hunt which was usually successful in putting venison in the freezer.

After retiring I found much more time to be in the woods and not only look for deer, but experience all the many other pleasures of sitting out in some of God's handiwork.

Instead of a deer a year, I've only taken two in the past seven years.  Both were trophy bucks first seen in the Spring and followed until the start of the rut.  Both taken from the ground.  I've passed on many does who were still with fawns thinking they will be taking care of a good animal for another year.  

I'm not against shooting does, but somehow just doesn't feel as right between my ears as it once did.

Even the shot at bucks is tougher than I remember it being.  And when approaching the downed animal there is real sorrow in the passing of life.

In the past two years I started carrying a small digital camera with a decent zoom lens.  Yes, the longbow is along too, but the camera is taking most of the shots these days.

Whether with bow or camera, the days afield are somehow very different for me.  And actually, I think I enjoy them more.  The time to retire was significantly influenced by health issues.  Perhaps that's why life has become a bit more precious.