Letter to my son.

[Benha]

Kevin,
I walked the high ridge today overlooking the field where you saw the big droptined eleven pointer. Think I will set up this year at that big lone cedar. You know even though it’s coming up on three years since you laid your bow down I still feel like your with me everytime I am out there. You know I was disappointed when you said you were quitting but I understand that you were just putting first things first and I respect you for devoting what little spare time you have to your family.

When you decide to take it up again I will gladly walk the woods again with you but until that time I will walk it with you in my mind. Guys enjoy taking your kids with you while you can because time flies.

[elknutz]

Very nice and I feel your pain.

[Mudd]

I understand as only one dad to another can.

It transcends all other pains and yet there is always that distant hope that you can return to something even better than before.

Thank you for sharing.

I appreciate that you laid yourself open for us to experience your feelings.

Thank you for the trust.

God bless,Mudd

[Bjorn]

Yeah, I can relate to this and my heart goes out to you.............my son is 17, we have had some great times hunting and camping together. Although there is no indication yet that it will change anytime soon I know we are on borrowed time. I will shed a tear when his priorities change, and they will-that's the way it goes.
In the meantime we enjoy our time afield, and we will hunt Elk together in UT next month.

[swamprooter]

I am truly sorry but I bet he'll come back to you. My son is in the Air Force stationed in LA, I cherish every minute I get to spend with him. I have a really good pic of him that I am going to post even though it is with a wheel bow. Chris

please post images no wider than 640, and no wheelbow pix, thanx.

[creekwood]

Cleaned up in a couple ways for you.  Tell him "thanks" from all of us for serving.

[USN_Sam1385]

I feel your pain, and wish I could relate more, however I feel that I am on the OTHER side of the spectrum from you. It is ME who wants to spend time with my father doing things like this, and HE who seems disinterested.

Let me elaborate:

I am 25 years old and my father lives only about 20 minutes away.

Today was his birthday in fact. We had lunch with him at a Mexican restaurant for his birthday. My father, myself and my wife, my sister and her soon to be husband.

Over the years I have TRIED to find things that my father and I can do together, and share in common. I talked him into buying a motorcycle hoping that we could ride together, but after only 250 miles on the motorcycle he sold it. I have taken him to the gun range once or twice, hoping to spark that interest to no avail. And a planned fishing trip to Table Rock Lake yielded almost no interest for him.

Sure, he went and he went through the motions. But I could tell that his heart was elsewhere.

About 6 months ago I showed him my longbow when he came by the house. I pulled it out with a lot of pride assuming that no one could avoid marveling at such a beautiful wooden instrument. After a quick look at it, he simple said: "You sure do like 'shooty things' don't you."

At this point I have pretty much given up trying to do anything outdoor related or hobby related with my father, and I feel that I will never form those wonderful memories that so many other father/son combinations have. I always hear that it is the fathers trying to hang out with the sons getting the cold shoulder. Not the other way around, as it is in my case.

I have a 2 1/2 year old son, and I hope that he will enjoy some of the things that I do when he is older, and that we can do some of these things that my father and I can not.

Good luck sir.

[Mudd]

Unfortunately we can feel pain from either side.

I pray that we don't become a source of that pain for either our parent or our children.

I must have failed miserably at the dad thing since my daughter only talks to me if she needs something or by circumstance has to.  
   

[joekeith]

Well I've got alot I'd like to say on this subject...but there's no sense in it.  Be thankful for what ya have, and try not to think of what you don't have.  You can only do so much, then it's up to them.  

Life goes on, or it don't.

[COLongbow]

Our parenting job is for them, not us.

Our good seeds that we sow may never sprout until years later and we may never see the flower.

That said, I have a 2 1/2 year old, and I dream every day to have with him what I had with my dad all those years ago, lost him when I was 25. Never had a chance to tell him how much he made me who I am, because I didn't wise up until it was too late.

All we can do is our best, as fallen humans. Good thing we have Him to prop us up...

[Hogcoots]

I have two sons and a daughter.  Each is their own person with their own interests. My advice is to enjoy each moment together whether that is in the woods, at the mall, in church, at a ballgame, sitting around the dinner table together, whatever.  We have little enough time together and there is not a moment that is guaranteed.

[Talondale]

Too true Hogcoots.

[GRINCH]

I am happy just to get a phone call,it seems we all have our priorities and sometimes we overlook the ones we love.

[USN_Sam1385]

I have been beginning to realize more and more that my dad and I are very different human beings in what our interests are.

As stated above, I have tried to get him interested in several of my hobbies.

What I have discovered, and continue to discover however is that I can not MAKE him like something that he isn't naturally interested in.

As stated by Hog, I need to just enjoy the time that I do get to spend with him, regardless of what the activity is.

[Eugene Slagle]

I have only daughters 17, 9, & 4.

My oldest lives with her mom & I know some of the reasons why she doesn't come around is because of her mom & that she is a Teenager & her priorities have changed but I still love her & hope that one day she will around even to talk.

My 9 year old, Erin is my shooting buddy when she isn't doing something for Girl Scouts or other activities that momma has her into, she especially loves 3D shoots & so far I am the proudest father around because of her abilities with a bow.
This year I may take her hunting with me but she has a lot or her mom in her so I'm not sure if that will be the path she takes but if not I'm satisfied with having my shooting partner.

My 4 year old, Katherine is learning the ropes & every time I pull my bow off the rack to shoot in the basement I get "Can I shoot my bow daddy."
Maybe one day she will be like her sister Erin & too be my shooting buddy but till then I enjoy trying to teach her how to shoot.

[Killdeer]

USN Sam, you sound like many parents with recalcitrant children, LOL! You have come across the wisdom that some parents learn, however, in that your son, daughter, mother, father, are not moldable beings, and that it is indeed a true blessing when it so happens that you have kindred passions. Family is family, but our true hearts' passions are independent, and to be treasured, as they cannot be trained.

Gene, I remember my dad trying to teach me how to ride a bike without training wheels. His teaching practicum was to launch me down a grassy slope, so that the falls that he knew were to come would not bloody me too badly.

Because of the unevenness of the ground, and my ignorance of the nuances of maintaining balance, the falls did come. Instead of being bloodied, I was bruised, and gave up the session in mommy-seeking tears.

But I still wanted to ride a bike like the other kids. I took my bike out and taught myself, without the distracting orders of my Navy dad, or a guiding hand on the seat of the bike, which was a distraction and a loss of autonomy.

Some learn better when they are allowed to join in, rather than being instructed. I hope that your daughters love the joy of sending a missile, to touch something afar by the dint of her will.

Killdeer

[Doc Nock]

Originally posted by Hogcoots:
I have two sons and a daughter.  Each is their own person with their own interests. My advice is to enjoy each moment together whether that is in the woods, at the mall, in church, at a ballgame, sitting around the dinner table together, whatever.  We have little enough time together and there is not a moment that is guaranteed.

The world of nature we study should give us a clearer picture that as stated, our role is to bring up kids, teach them the values needed and then "launch" them into life to make their own way.

I believe even the Bible tell us that there is a time we leave our parents house.  Perhaps we're the only creature on Earth to enjoy connection to our adult offspring?  There are other animals I guess that live in social groups, but we can only guess at parent-child interactions.

I had to teach my Dad to hunt and fish as he worked himself silly and had more "honey-do" lists than law outa allow.  I had to teach myself the outdoors first.  

As quoted above, there are no guarantees of time to share. Enjoy the time, not the task. Common ground isn't about liking the same things: It's about liking EACH OTHER!

If you've got that, grab it and hold on!

[Benha]

Yeah like I said he didn't quit because he lost interest he was starting graduate school and is a 2nd Lt in the Army Reserves and pastors a church. Along with four children. He is just covered up is all.

[Killdeer]

Wise, Doc.

Killdeer  

[gobblegrunter]

Originally posted by Benha:
Yeah like I said he didn't quit because he lost interest he was starting graduate school and is a 2nd Lt in the Army Reserves and pastors a church. Along with four children. He is just covered up is all.

Sounds like you've got a lot to be proud of. Hopefully time/life will open up for him soon so that you can once again enjoy some quality time together.