I struggle with it also, been diagnosed with bi-polar, turned out I didn't have it,but I do have depression and social anxiety, I have had about every med tossed at me and have come to the conclusion that God and prayer does more for ME, not saying that there is anything wrong wiht proper meds, they are definitely a God send, trust me,and I am not saying you are weak, in fact I am proud of you and your being able to reach out,that takes a lot, and thank you for allowing us to have the blessing to pray for you!!! I wouldn't be where I am today without the med help, just know that you are not alone.......I know you probably feel that way....but you are not, read heb 13:5..........go RIGHT NOW and read, and while you have it open, allow the Holy Spirit to speak to your brokenness, He is the great physician, He craeted and LOVES you, and has a purpose for you...reach out and cling to the everlasting arms, do it right now, lord bless and keep you!!!