Today as I was arriving to work, my mother called and told me that her brother Jerry Bauer (65 yrs old) shot himself. I was numb, as a kid we were all very close. His children from his first marriage grew up with me. When I was about ten years old he and his wife got a divorce (she was unfaithful). It changed our family and after that we saw less of my uncle and his kids. My uncle soon remarried (rebound) and started another family. I never knew these cousins but I heard things. They were wild kids and wild teenagers. I am hearing now the hell my uncle had living at home. Apparently these hooligan kids even beat him up a few times.
My uncle was a caring, kind man who was very hard working. He did nothing but work hard to support that unappreciative bunch.
Funny thing is I have always felt “our” family is my cousins from his first marriage and not these other kids, I just never knew them. I know the children from his first marriage are heart broken and they are all fine people (I am proud how they grew up coming from a divided family). Our whole family, my mother, her siblings and all the nieces and nephews are all hurting bad now.
The sadness in me is finally coming out but I am at work so I must hold it in. I have talked to my mother and my dad. My mom is so sad and crying, that is hard for me to hear. It is breaking my heart right now to also know that they are preparing to tell my sweet 93 year old grandmother who lives next door that her son is dead. I am so worried what this will do to her.
I have not prayed yet, I will after I type this. I don’t know how to feel (besides sad), should I be mad at my uncle or pity his life. Of course I will forgive him because I loved him, I know he would never hurt us if he realized. I am guessing something happened to push him over the edge. I am not excusing what he did but I certainly cannot condemn him. The last time I saw him we hugged and said “Love you man.” That was about 3 years ago.
Please pray that god forgive my uncle and pray my family has the strength to endure this tragedy.
Regards,
Bill Wright