Yup, Bud. Down on your knees and your eyes lookin up!
I keep sharing, perhaps too often, how for that 2.5 years, I kept having chances at things I KNEW were perfect for me, but they just dind't happen. It's an awful feeling. Devil uses whatever he can to keep us from trusting in our Lord. I often wonder if that time in the desert was extended due to my need to learn greater surrender?
When the world seems like it's against you and all hope is lost, its too easy to make other stupid, hurtful choices as well. :( You can't take them back. But we can always learn and try to move forward better trusting in God's will for our lives.
I wish I could tell you I landed in a dream job after all that time, but I can't. I told God I just wanted to use the skills he's "loaned" me to help others and He put me in a small company, struggling to survive, so my future is as tenuous as it was before, and there is a ton of frustration, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm supposed to be here doing exactly this and living out in faith. It's terrifying at times, but there is also some deeper small voice when I just listen.
My prayer for you today, Curtiss, is that God calms your fears, steadies your heart and vision and keeps you wrapped in His loving arms. The rest will come, my friend, the rest will come.
Keep the Son in your eyes...