Ol E,
This seems to hold a lot of emotional value to you, and that becomes very personal. I've avoided this for I felt unworthy to reply to your pointed question. I see your point, but must try to share another perspective....
As a believer in Christ's teachings, I have to believe God never gives us more than we can take...but if we fail to realize that on our own, alone, we're nothing, then situations become overwhelming and your point is well taken.
I've been beaten down, stretched beyond my abilities and many, many times cried out knowing I could not go on...
At those moments, admitting that there was nothing left in me to give, asking God for help, I was left totally in awe at how simply, I gained new unexplained strength to put one foot in front of another...yet One. More. Day! and then again the next. Asking God for "help" was the key to His blessing of "another day of strength!"
It's what I've come to believe, "dying to self" must mean biblically...that I realize and surrender that alone, I cannot go on, but with God, the promise of the holy spirit within me, God will see me through unbelievably tough, ugly circumstances.
That is my personal belief. Each individual has to come to peace with those issues on their own, but I share if FWIW.
As to the anger, from a counseling standpoint, people are driven I believe, as folks here witness to daily, to reach out and help others. I believe, again, that is God's intention, for us to be in community.
When someone we care about secretly "gives up" and doesn't reach out to those around them when in anguish and frustration, it denies us the chance to do what most of us might feel is our "responsibility." To TRY TO HELP
Much of our culture has changed, but I think those on this site and the "silent majority" might still feel that way.
From that viewpoint,many I've talked to after a loved one committed suicide, feel the other person was being "selfish" in choosing to destroy the love of those around them by such a desperate, final act with no recourse, leaving behind gaping wounds and a feeling of "guilt" that others would have helped if they'd "only have known."
No, there are no magic or silver bullets to fix those things that have worn us down. But, most of us would want to cherish life and the love of those around us, enough to at least say, "hey, i'm about at wits end here and I cannot go on alone, can you help?"
Depression, overwhelming saddness and feelings of abject failure are common today. Perhaps, God allows these things to show us that we cannot begin to survive this world without Him in our lives?
Mortals will often fail, which is likely what led another mortal to the conclsuion that suicide is an option. God will never fail.
Death is inevitable. Christ is the only true answer to eternal death. But while salvation and eternal life is free and Grace washes away the worst of sin in a request to be forgiven, there are "costs."
One of those costs, coming full circle, is that if we accept Christ's salvation, then we must also realize that alone, we are nothing in the face of adversity, and we must "let go of self reliance" and become Christ centered, admitting that we NEED Him in our life to go on, to do right, to persevere.
I apologize in advance for being so long winded. I'm a totally unworthy, empty & broken vessel to speak God's words of salvation, given my own sinful nature and constant failing and need for others prayers, guidance and insights, but this is something I struggled with since you first posted. I wish I were more eloquent and capable.
I can only pray that something of all this makes sense... I will never accept anyone who ever felt God's presence in their lives are "a heartbeat and six feet from hell".
One never fights so galantly as when they're on their knees!
Shalom and peace, Bernard