Ray,
Might I recommend a neat paperback? Gary Thomas wrote: "Authentic Faith: The Power of a Fire-Tested Life". He has several helpful small books that don't cost a lot and do not take forever to read. Just a long time to grasp and put in our hearts at times!
He has considerable to say about how we tend to see a sin within, give it to God and then expect an overnight miracle and when we fall back, we beat ourselves so badly, we just give up figuring "no use, I will never will change...and God must hate me".
And that is the Liar, the Deceiver doing his best work when we hear that..worse, when we believe it! Don't!
Listen to Benson. Lord knows our heart, not our failures. Forgiveness is forever and starts within!
A wheel goes in circles for ever, but with just a gentle push, as it turns, it moves forward.
Keep moving forward with the Son in your eyes!