Mom says she's ready for hospice (Final post from Tom)

[Tom Leemans]

Please bear with me, because it helps to "talk" about these things. Believe me, nobody actually likes to talk about this.
Nearly 3 years ago, around Christmas, mom started getting discomfort from what she thought was gall bladder problems. Well, one day I stop by and notice that she looks jaundiced, so I make her go to the doctor. To make a long story short, it was pancreatic cancer. It was in the early stages, so she decided she wasn't ready to go yet. There was a possibilty of removing the tumor, along with part of her pancreas, and whatever else may need removing. At first they thought it was inoperable. A closer look showed that it was possible. Unfortunately, once inside, they found lesions on her liver. They removed all of them,along with her gall bladder, then rearranged some of her digestive system, then went no further with the bypass, because she needed chemo to keep the cancer cells at bay. If she would have gotten the whole bypass, she'd have never survived the chemo regimen and all would have been for naught.
Since then, Mom has endured radiation and about every kind of chemo there is. Sometimes there's progress, sometimes disappointment. Recently though, there has been just too much fluid build-up, and managing that has been the issue of the day. I believe she's decided that she's done receiving chemo. Cancer patients all reach this point. It's not an easy decision to make. Some give up sooner than others.
Mom has been kicking the ass of one of the worst cancers out there for nearly 3 years. Until January of 2007, mom had not been to see a doctor for any ailment in nearly 60 years. I've watched one of the healthiest people I've ever known slowly wither away. Mom is a retired nurse and has spent most of her life in the care of others. We have been caring for her since her diagnosis. It has been hard on our whole family. I ask for your prayers to get us through this difficult time, and for mom's journey to come to a peaceful end.

[Doc Nock]

Wow. That story brings back memories of my own mom. We battled royally. She was the product of a broken home when it wasn't heard of... and was sent away during the trials of the divorce. Upon her return to a small town, the wags of gossip told the tale that she was sent away to have a baby single. Mom was a virgin when she was married, many years later, but the scars were there. She never seemed to get over the drama and trauma. She was a dedicated nurse, an RN, like your Mom, and ministered to everyone...but her motivation was more for earning her place here, than giving out of the fullness of herself.

She struggled with self-worth issues till the day she received the diagnosis that she had inoperable bone cancer... matastisized from a lower GI organ. She was amazing. She lasted 15 days. I still swear she knew how long the Medicare would pay for "palative care" (10 days or so after the hospital stay) and choose to end it all by will.

I gave her non-stop care. We fought tooth and nail throughout our lives---ended up I was the one giving the most care above and beyond the nursing staff...daily. I will cherish those times forever.

Mom was covered up in peace, joy and love those last 15 days. Mom didn't live her life that way, but she ended it that way true to her belief in Jesus.

May your Mom know the peace that passess all understanding as mine learned in her final days, and may she go in Grace knowing her Lord is with her every step.

You will see her again. On the other side. Somehow, in our new, perfect bodies we still will know one another.  

As my Uncle put in in my 20's... "Son, even death is God's perfect healing" as he went from remission into final stages of bone cancer himself.

Keep the Son in your eyes, Tom.  God carries us through these times, ergo, the single foot prints in the sand of our lives.

[bear1336]

Prayers for you and your mom are sent from Georgia.

[hydrasport205]

prayers for your mother  and your family.. I also have a mother that is dealing with cancer and I know how you feel.. I pray that gods hand is on your mother and your family

[BenBow]

Amen & praying

[Ringneck]

Prayers sent for your family.

[bayoulongbowman]

I pray for all and your Mom , my Dad faught the same   cancer , peace...Mark

[redeemed]

Prayers up for you my freind, my wife had a best freind pass about a year ago from panc cancer, 1 week after her funeral, my wife (and the lady they just buried's best freind) found out she had breats cancer, she had a double mastectomy, still going through  radiation and chemo. I lost my mom in nov 97, this time of year brings back tough times, mine was kind of like doc's, she suffered from self-worth issues since she was a little girl, and we miss her. My freind, I pray for the loving arms of Jesus to embrace your whole family and guide your lovely mom through her journey,
Lord bless and keep ya all!!!

[Tom Leemans]

I wanted to extend a thank you to everyone who offered their prayers and well wishes, whether posted here or not. Mom passed last night. She said on Tuesday that she had done all she could do and was done fighting. Her mind was made up, and we respected that. She slipped away peacefully. The family is both saddened, and relieved. We'll miss her and cherish her memory.

[Doc Nock]

Tom,

Brings a tear to read you tale. My own Mom, as related above, passed similary 4.5 years ago.

IT's times like these, reading of your loss, that it all comes home again powerfully.

Prayers for peace and healing.

Thank you Lord for your perfect healing for all believers.

Keep the Son in your eyes!

[Tom Leemans]

Thanks Doc

[BenBow]

Prayers for comfort and the ability to rejoice that she feels no more pain

[Nosight]

Prayers sent from here....

Brings back memerys from dads passing..

All I can say is remember all of the good times, dont dwell on the bad and talk about her alot.

Praying for peice to all of the family..

Later....Buzz

[redeemed]

pulling the ole heart strings, God be with ya in your time of sorrow.cherish the memories.

[bear1336]

More paryers for all from Georgia.


In HIS service
Dave

[SlowBowinMO]

Just caught this thread.  Wow guys, the bare bones of life here.  Thanks for sharing and bless you both.

Believe it or not I still have a grandmother but we're losing her as I type this.  She's always been a trooper and encourager, and a woman of strong simple faith.  What a legacy, it really shows what's truly important.  Like most of us, she won't be remembered for her house or car, the clothes she wore or her "accomplishments", she'll be remembered for her character and impact on others.

That's really what it is all about, glorifying God and loving people.

[Tom Leemans]

This will be my last post to this thread, then we can move on.

Last Thursday was Mom's memorial service. Church was packed. I've always said the measure of a person is who shows up for their funeral. The luncheon afterwards was packed as well. Our Pastor gave a touching homily about how Mom lived an admirable life, rooted in faith and a caring nature. He stated that we could all stand to follow her example. My wife made a nice slide show for the luncheon and my sis-in-law made a huge photo board as well. It was good to see family and friends and recount happy memories.

Mom was a beautiful lady inside and out. Smart as a whip too! I always tried to get her to go on Jeopardy, but she never would. She always had time to answer our questions when we were growing up though. Not an easy thing to do when you raise 6 kids! She was Mom and nurse to the whole neighborhood, be it man or beast. Everyone who knew her, loved her. Phone calls have been pouring in from everywhere!

Mom loved her gardening and she could bake better than anyone I know. I can smell the raisin bread now! It always came out perfect. She would always let the kids help her bake goodies for the holidays too. She had the patience of a saint, that's for sure!

Years ago, when My girls were small, I started a tradition that I learned from my parents. We go over to Grandma and Grandpa's (or Ma 'n' Pa's) house after church on Sunday and have what my kids call "waffle time" (brunch). I'm forever thankful for the memories I have of visiting my grandparents on Sundays. I know my children will someday thank me for giving them the same happy memories.

My last words to Mom when she passed, as I kissed her on the forehead, were "Have a blast in heaven Mom! I love you!"

Sweet Pea, we'll all miss you!

[BenBow]

Thank you for the update Tom. Great memories for sure. I can almost smell that raisin bread. Continued prayers of comfort.

[Doc Nock]

glad nobody caught me in my cubicle reading that, Tom... people wonder when  6'2" guy has tears in his eyes.

That is the most beautiful testament any son could give his Mom.  It's nice to see you KNOW how blessed you were to be raised and moulded by a woman of that stature and Grace.

Prayers for the peace that passes all understanding...

Keep the Son in your eyes!

[Benha]

Think I'll call mama.