Dave,
I don't know if at this early hour this will come out right, but here goes: Minister told of a time when he counseled other ministers and one gent came to him saying that "I've lost total control of my life and world, everything is out of control...and you need to help me get things back on track---and you have to help me now..."
This minister looked at his colleague and said, "George, we'll get around to your current issues in a moment, but first, as a fellow man-of-God, I need to ask you when you first had these delusions about being in control of life in the first place?"
Might have had to have been there, but it hit me pretty hard. We see things start to go wrong in life and feel panic that we're no longer in control. And, yet, when were we in control?
Dying to self and living in Surrender might just mean that we fight that delusion first...of being in control.
Your lovely wife has become your world. And for good reasons as you've shared here and there. Maybe it's time to surrender her to God 100% and know that HE is in control and walk in Faith... that isn't meant as an admonishment, but as people keep tellin me, "you've got to take care of the care-taker..."
This all sorta sounds hokey this early and doesn't feel like it came out right...but the part of my own Walk with Christ that gnaws at me is that I don't live in surrender ---enough...I try to do all I can... to think of everything that needs done... and especially now with my Pop....but it keeps coming back to me that ...nothing I can do will change the Will of God and if I but surrender to Him, and Trust Him to know what is best for my Pop...I will tap into a power source beyond what I know today.
I guess maybe I wrote this as much for me as you, but I pray there is something in there for you too. We run ourselves to a frazzle...when all we need is to surrender and lean on Jesus.
Words easy to do but when it's someone close to us, oh, ever so hard to put into practice.
Brother, Keep the Son in your eyes!