my brother, you just painted a picture of me. from you feeling like she is someone else to,the name change( my ex called me immuture because i walked out of the lawyers office when they blindside me with her wanting to go back to her maiden name.) we did spilt everything down the middle with shared parenting. i prayed for GOD to soften her heart, to make her see what she was doing, and to realize she was going againist his will. deep down i wanted him to knock her to her knees and take everything from her, but i knew i was wrong to feel that way. it's hurt, and deception that eats at you from the inside. i never even saw the the divorce comming, but GOD did. i cried, and prayed so much wanting him to change her mind, he didn't, but you can't give up. a friend of mine went through the same thing, his wife realized her mistake and there together after 15 years. we're talking about three personalities and different women. i pray your's will change her mind. one thing i do know, if GODS holy spirt is within her( i'm assumming she is a christian) she can't lay her head down at night and find any peace, he just will not leave her alone. he loves her that much. i didn't want him to love my ex, or to bless her. i knew the most important thing i could do was pray for her. i had to come to realize her relationship with GOD was far more important than ours. i loved her and just didn't want to see anything happen to her. if you would like to talk, pm me i'll give you my phone number. take care my brother, you praying and turning it over to jesus is the very best thing to do.