Joe,
If you've survived that moment of utter hopelessness and come back to read, understand this: There are many here who have hit rock bottom at a time in life. As your follow this forum daily, you'll see how many of us have spent many years outside the will of God and have found redemeption and redirection. Darn few of us came by our salvation easily... The willfulness of man leads many astray.
Know there is no shame in where you've been. We each handle our personal hell differently.
Our prayers have been for God to provide some way to prevent that ultimate choice of taking your life.
Ultimately, you own the choice! You own the feelings that led you to that decision. You do NOT own feeling desparate, forlorn, worthless and devastated beyond ability to cope. Each of us are sinners beyond belief and have at one or many times in life been led to the brink of hell's gates!
It takes tremendous faith to even believe that an omniscient God could ever love one so flawed, broken and sinful as myself. There are no earthly role models for us to compare to or get a glimpse of Love that would send an only Son to die on a cross, the most dispicable and painful death I can imagine.
Where you are was no sin greater or lesser than any others who come here. Forgiveness is free and simply there for the asking.
Emotions are the devil's playground and the Liar sucked you in.
If you've made it through, and would like, people have given out their phone #'s, there are personal emails or PM's if it is too hard to come back here to post and let us know you're ok.
We all are learning from this: We are powerless in an evil world, but our God is not. Regardless of your choice and if you've followed through, you've taught me it's ok to pray like a banshee, without ever knowing outcomes. It's ok to try everything I could to find some way to reach you. And, it's ok that I'm impotent to really make a difference.
That is the reality, I am but Dust, and He alone is soverign. Prayers continue although we may never know your fate... know that you are welcome here without retribution or rancor. I don't agree with suicide but I understand the motivations deeply and my heart goes out.
Email, PM, whatever if you should feel a desire to reach out to any who post here to share your heart and sit and pray with you...and rejoice that you are with us.
If not, then I ask God's mercy on you and your fateful choice.
Your brother in Christ.
Topic: I want to go home (Read 6227 times)
