joe, we all have gone through many hard times, in our flesh we seem to always question, why me, GOD knows my heart. well joe, GOD does know your heart, he wouldn't allow you to go through this if he didn't also have faith in you. i believe he prepares his worriors, just as we take our best in the military to go into special forces, so does he. on the outside the apostels seemed like your average guy, but he knew there heart and what they were capable of. joe i'm like many here, i know i should count it a blessing when trouble comes but i get mad, hurt and start doughting. we men find it so hard to just surrender, it's just in mens nature to want it fixed, NOW! And when trouble starts we're ready to rumble. WOOPS! we fogot, GOD can take care of anything. we need to let him work things out in his time and we will always be blessed, and he will be glorified not only through our obidence, but the example it could be to the people around us. so many times i've looked back and kicked myself, and asked, lord forgive me, why did i dought? joe i've been through pretty much the same thing your are and i have to be honest, it can seem overwhelming at times, starting over is scary, the material things won't be the same, your house may be different, everything but GOD. he will lift you up out of this higher than you've every been. even a man like me of liitle faith when things go bad, he still showed how much he loved me. i'm a wittnes to how awsome he his. i was a broken down mess, if you could only see me now. for all of his willing disiples there will be more trials, just rememder the battle he is preparing us for. i will continue to pray for you. you all can pray for me, one my biggest problems is my mouth, as i tell my son, i let my hippopotamas mouth overload my humming bird butt. take care my brother, we love you and we're in this battle together, in the end, we win.