Josh,
I can relate to "how" you feel with the anger building up inside and slowly, but surely keeping YOUR mind on the person that is causing the HURT in your life. Yes......that's right, HURT is always at the bottom of an anger issue. It can come from just one person, or several that we feel are "working against" us. I have been dealing with a family member that has issues that I don't want to cloud your thread with, but let it suffice to say that this person had slowly, but surely put me in the same position that you are asking for help about.
For me, personally........as hard as it was, initially to do.......I had to pray for the good Lord to open the person's eyes and help them to see the error of their ways. I have (and continue to) prayed numerous times daily for this person to find the help that they need through Jesus Christ. I'm not gonna say that it was easy at first.......and to be quite honest, I'm not sure that I really "meant" all that I was asking the Lord to do for this person. Over time, it gets easier......and easier for me to ask for and I really sincerely mean what I am asking the Lord to do now.
Again, for ME......forgiveness is essential for my "sanity". Without it, I am "consumed" with vengeance towards this person. I just had to slowly but surely realize that this is in the Lords plan and he knows the BEST outcome for all involved......and TRULY trust that. This wasn't easy either, because I felt like I shouldn't just stand idly by and let the things happen that were going on. You see, the Lord gave us "free-will".......knowing that we were (and are going to) make mistakes and try to inject "our will" into the situation. It is human nature to do that and NOT an easy thing to "let go" of.
I am at a place now, where I can trust that a power greater than myself is at work and that the outcome will be in the best interest of all involved. I don't have to always like things, but I have to be able to "accept" them for what they are. Don't get me wrong, if there is something that I can do that needs to be done, I get off my keyster and do it. I don't stand by and have regrets later that "I should have" done anything. I ask for guidance in my choices and for direction to do what is necessary to carry out Gods will. Resentment, given enough time inside the mind of any "human" will slowly destroy the "best" of what is inside. It simply isn't worth it to me. Acceptance and Forgiveness are essential for ME to remain somewhat "sane". Without it I am LOST.......in anger and resentment.
Forgiveness is one thing and "forgetting" is quite another. I can forgive, but will NEVER forget what someone put me through. Especially when they "keep repeating" the same offense, over and over. I just keep praying for them and myself to find the guidance that we both so desperately need. I apologize for the long length of this reply........but I felt a need to put it ALL out there. I hope it gives you some of the same "PEACE" that it has me.
If you ever want to just talk........I'm a pretty good listener and will gladly PM you my phone number.
God Bless YOU........sir, for having the courage to ask for help.
Winterhawk1960