Congratulations on 5 days! It's a rough ride, but hang on. Keep your focus. It WILL get better.
Something Winterhawk wrote hit a chord with me.* I used support groups from time to time when I was still struggling with it, liked some more than others. My favorite was Rational Recovery. I didn't care for AA because they told me I was "powerless against alcohol".
Bull. Even when I was drinking, I knew that was crap.
The bottle never held a gun to my head and made me drink it. I always reached for it myself, voluntarily. The choice was always mine to pick it up, and the choice was always mine to lay it down. That simple. I just needed a reason that was bigger than my desire to drink, something that meant more to me than the alcohol. If you have that, whatever it may be for you personally, you'll succeed.
*So I didn't like AA, but as Winterhawk touched on, they do have a good tool for the harder times. I liked "one day at a time"; and you can make it "one hour at a time", or "one minute at a time", if it comes to that; and it came to that for me once or twice. I was a minute away from giving in once or twice, but remembered my reason, distracted myself with something else I had to do first, and held off for that minute; and then the next, until the minutes strung together into a bigger piece of time, and I outlasted the temptation. It's a good way to do it. Break it down into manageable units of time. Anybody can hold off for a minute, if it comes to that; and it might. And you could find that at the end of that minute, you're a little steadier, a little more in control of yourself. If not, stick it out just one more minute. That's all; only another minute.
Think you could walk across the country, from Montana to Virginia?
Don't look now, but you've already done it; or more correctly, its equivalent. You've already walked that distance in your life, and then some.
And how did you accomplish such a huge trek? YOU tell ME.
I'm proud of you for having taken the decision to stop. You feel rough. It'll pass. Once you've been sober a few days, or even if it takes a couple of weeks, your body will adjust.
You're hard on people, ill-tempered, snappish. Your friends will know why, and they'll put up with it for a little while. And if they don't know why, they should; tell 'em. Not as an excuse, but as a reason why. There's a difference. This situation doesn't give you permission to be a jerk; you still own every time you treat someone badly. But at least they'll know WHY you're sometimes acting the way you do, and they'll give you a little room; but they'll also rightly expect you to knock it off soon, once you get a little better handle on this thing.
Keep at it. You're doing good, and you're not alone. Lots of other people have kicked the jug; and if they can, you can, too. Just keep holding on. After a while, it'll get to be a habit, and won't be so hard on a continuous basis. But you'll always have to be mindful of the sneak attack of temptation to take another drink that blindsides you. When it does, roll with it, go back to basics, like it's your first day, and hang on; it WILL leave.
I've met you, talked with you, hung out with you; I've been to your homeground. I know where you've come from, and what you're made of, because we share some of it. I've got faith in you. Go do it. Refuse to be beaten.
Topic: Struggling with Addiction (Read 7078 times)
