Author Topic: I don't know what to say. (Read 1878 times)

GRINCH · « **on:** September 09, 2011, 12:59:00 AM »

My Daughter and her husband have been working on having a baby,today she emailed me with the bad news,the fetus died in the womb,they don't know why and she is very hurt and lost.I just don't know what to say to her,nothing seems appropriate.
This is the second time for them,their chances of a family doesn't look good,Iknow how important this is to her and right now feel totaly helpless.

stringstretcher · « **Reply #1 on:** September 09, 2011, 04:04:00 AM »

Prayers go out to your daughter, her family and yours.

Rookie@51 · « **Reply #2 on:** September 09, 2011, 07:17:00 AM »

First I want to say that I cryed when I read this post. I have a Daughter who is 20 and I was thinking of her when I read your words. What would I tell her if this happened to her? First I would want to go to her and hold her in my arms and cry with her because a Daddy should be able to fix anything that comes up in their lives. I would tell her that our Hevenly Father (Daddy) is the only one who knows why and that He never makes mistakes. Even now as I think about this I'm in tears because I feel your heart as well as hers breaking. Yet I would pray with her and thank God for not taking her life because I need her too much. I would thank God that He has told us the He would never leave us nor forsake us in any thing we have happen in our lives. After this I don't really know what else there is to say without it sounding hollow and rehersed.

Father you know what needs to be said as well as what don't. Please comfort this family as they are reeling from this news. Father Please cup them in you hand and hold them next to your chest so that they can hear your heart beating. A heart that wants only the best for your children. Father in your mercy please give them peace and comfort to be able to move past this in their lives. It is in your name that I ask this for them. Lord Please hear my prayers today and show forth your power in their lives. Amen.......Dusty

BenBow · « **Reply #3 on:** September 09, 2011, 12:58:00 PM »

Amen. Prayers for God's comfort.

Cyclic-Rivers · « **Reply #4 on:** September 09, 2011, 01:51:00 PM »

Larry, I have been trying for a baby for 2 years. about 3 weeks ago the dr. says I cant have kids.

Somehow your daughters situation is much worse!

I pray your family gets through it.

Doc Nock · « **Reply #5 on:** September 09, 2011, 08:50:00 PM »

Wow.. Larry, that is tough! Women seem to go thru the same as having had a born baby die with a miscarriage or whatever they're calling this.

My prayers for you, for her and her husband. My Dad's hospice chaplin said to me recently, "just give the "ministry of presence".

Perhaps at this stage in your and your daughter's relationship, that is all that is needed.

As a very young boy, I recall my Dad's aunt telling the story of how she had 3 miscarriages in a row. Then the 4th pregnancy, as a devout Christian, she begged God to help her have this baby... she didn't not ask for "His will, but her own desires to come true".

The child went full term and was so severely mongoloid, it had to be institutionalized at a very young age to receive the needed medical care.

My Dad's Aunt told that story to all us young folks, to make sure we learned to always ask God for our heart's desire, but to close asking for "his will be done and to give us strength to live in His will".

Dusty's words brought out that memory. God's will be done. I've known several couple's who even adopted then had healthy pregnancies to term with healthy babies.

May God's peace that passes all understanding keep you, your daugther and whole family in Christ's blessed arms.

lunatic11 · « **Reply #6 on:** September 09, 2011, 09:02:00 PM »

Prayers for your daughter and all your family.

eddings220 · « **Reply #7 on:** September 09, 2011, 10:16:00 PM »

Prayers from here as well. Words sometimes are not needed, just being a shoulder to cry on, just being the loving familiar face of Dad can be enough. I like what Doc posted that the Chaplain said "ministry of prescence". May god grant your daughter and her husband understanding and peace that only He can give, and that He would bless them with the desires of their hearts.

GRINCH · « **Reply #8 on:** September 10, 2011, 12:41:00 AM »

I want to thank everyone for the prayers and advice,I guess what hurts the most is that I can't be there for her,I'm giving her a couple of days before I call so she can try and dealwith the situation and to give her and her husband time to grieve,thanks again Larry.

Doc Nock · « **Reply #9 on:** September 10, 2011, 07:21:00 AM »

Larry,

You know your daughter better'n anyone. "Presence" doesn't have to mean you're physically there.

Just so she knows that you're grieving with her. Like you wrote to Arwin...it's all about communication.

Be sure she's sure...that you're grieving with her--- and then as you wisely suggest, give them some space and time to let God work.

Keep the Son in your eyes, my friend. Peace.

Rookie@51 · « **Reply #10 on:** September 10, 2011, 06:41:00 PM »

Lord knows your heart my brother. Just keep lifting her up and our Father will stand in your place and give her comfort that passes all understanding till you can see her again.......God bless you and yours.......Dusty

huntmaster80 · « **Reply #11 on:** September 10, 2011, 08:57:00 PM »

my prayers go out to you and your daughter. My sister in-law has had 4 miscarriages, in the past two years.

Well just last thursday she gave birth to identical twin girls that are really small, but doing well. If he can just hang in there, it will happen for her when the lord sees fit.
God bless.

Hooked · « **Reply #12 on:** September 10, 2011, 10:59:00 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by GRINCH:
My Daughter and her husband have been working on having a baby,today she emailed me with the bad news,the fetus died in the womb,they don't know why and she is very hurt and lost.I just don't know what to say to her,nothing seems appropriate.
This is the second time for them,their chances of a family doesn't look good,Iknow how important this is to her and right now feel totaly helpless.

Prayers up for all of you!

Would like to suggest a book too. "Heaven is for Real". If you haven't read it, you should and so should your daughter.

GRINCH · « **Reply #13 on:** September 10, 2011, 11:58:00 PM »

Thank you all for your support,Doc my daughter knows how much I care and your right I do know her thats why I'm waiting to call I emailed her back and said I had know words to reflect my grief,she needs the time to heel and get her self together,but thank you my friend I appreciate your guidance.Larry

PaPaFrank · « **Reply #14 on:** September 11, 2011, 10:14:00 AM »

Larry, I'm sorry to hear this...I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers I think the important thing to do is to just be "DAD"

Doc Nock · « **Reply #15 on:** September 11, 2011, 11:45:00 AM »

May God's peace rest gently on you, your daughter and her husband and all the family as they draw closer and draw His comfort as their own!

GRINCH · « **Reply #16 on:** September 11, 2011, 07:27:00 PM »

I spoke with my Daughter today,she was still hurting but kept a positive attitude,I'm very proud of her with the way she has handled this,staying positive and looking towards the future,thank you all for the comforting words.Larry

GRAYBEARD · « **Reply #17 on:** September 11, 2011, 08:04:00 PM »

Hey Larry,
I just read your post and my heart breaks for you all. I'd be willing to bet her resilience comes from some fine parents. Please know my family's prayers are holding you folks up to God.
In Friendship,
Jed

Al Dente · « **Reply #18 on:** September 11, 2011, 08:31:00 PM »

So sorry for your loss. Cathy and I were on that roller coaster of emotions for nearly 4 years. She had 6 miscariages, and 2 "chemical" pregnancies. We went to 2 different "experts" before finding two beother who allow God to work through their hands. We went through testing, weekly bloodwork, DNA, neurologicical testing, etc... In Vitro, In Utero, egg extraction, petri dish, etc... All to no avail. At 6 weeks, we would lose the baby. After seeing the heartbeat, and getting elated, we would crash at the site of a black screen.

Then, we found the Kofinas brothers, who actually care about their patients and not their profits. After the first pregnancy with them, Cathy carries full term and our first daughter Teresa was born. Two years later, Gianna graced us. All thanks to them.

Do you know what you call a person who graduated Medical School at the bottom of their class? Doctor, that's what. Not every doctor got A's, and not every one cares.

Please have them keep their faith, I know it firsthand how difficult it is, but God is good and he has a plan. There ar no words that offer comfort with a loss like this. The emptiness and loneliness is expansive.

Our relationship was tested on every level, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. Our faith and our love pulled us through. Please have them both hang in there.

Right Wing · « **Reply #19 on:** September 12, 2011, 10:08:00 PM »

Prayers sent for your daughter and your family.

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Author Topic: I don't know what to say. (Read 1878 times)

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