Thanks, Guys. No calls last night so that is a good thing.
I don't fear Dad's passing. I'm as ready as I can be, but it will still hurt of course and there will sure enough be tears! It's as Charlie said, the "circle of life". At my age, I'm next in the hopper.
Being Dad isn't communicating and can't /doesn't talk much... and of this last decline, not respoinding but with eyes, there is so much I wish I knew of his thoughts, fears or concerns that I could speak to... but whatever angst Dad lives with NOW, will be erased when he stands before Jesus and is made perfect and all-knowing.
That is my only comfort that whatever emotional suffering he's enduring locked away inside his failing body will be set right when he passes over to "home."
Still sucks to be there watching it. I will not hover about his bed unable to do or interact. Whatever is to be will be and he's getting at least basic needs met. I think Hospice will step up their involvement now next week. I will continue my regular visitation daily so that he doesn't discern some "change" and add to any panic he might feel. When time draws close, then I will be there more to ease his transition.
Pop might yet again "rally" and the dieuretic (?) pull off the fluid, but they warned me that it is a diminishing return as they increase doseage near the end.
My concerns are not for myself, only for his peace during this time where he cannot communicate. I pray God will whisper in my ear what is appropriate for ME to share with Dad to make this time easier on him...
Not to ausage my own needs, but to minister to Dads.
Lord in your Mercy...