Feeling like my words ending... prayers please

[Doc Nock]

Sounds like it's still hard to "die to self" as it is for us all...at least for ME!

Letting go of the outcome and focusing on making you A) well and B) a better, more tolerant, accepting and flexible man of God, takes a lot of "letting go".

You cannot heal yourself if you're focused on the outcome of others.  If she sees you're 100% dedicated to working on your issues and health... and allowing her to make her own decision...

... you might be surprised.

Bad news/Good news: What I just wrote is terribly difficult in your situation of panic.  Second, you've not yet come to realize that nothing YOU do can control the outcome of another's behavior.  You can only "fix" yourself. That's just an ugly reality.  :(  

For me, that keeps me busy 24/7/365 and I still fall down pretty regularly! Lord keeps picking me up till I start to focus on others' need to change around me...then it all goes sour.

Good luck.

Keep the Son in your eyes!

[AWPForester]

Brother, I have seen this with some of my close friends.  I wish I could tell you it turned out the way they wanted but I can't.  But what I can say, no matter what happened, in time they all went on whether or not it all worked out.

I would suggest find out what is hurting your stomach.  I imagine a lot of it is the anxiety you are feeling about your problems at home.  You get closure on that and you will fix your stomach.

I will say that the one thing your marriage is suffering from is communication.  It is the root of all failed marriages.  You can't make her communicate, the only thing you can do is surrender it all to the Lord.  I know that sounds easy, ut all you can do is pray about it and trust in him.

Our lives are free will.  Free will to do right or wrong.  All you can do is right by the Lord and accept the peace he will give you concerning this.  I will pray for you and your family.  Keep the faith and know however it turns out it will be for the best if you stay by your morals following the Lord.  God Bless

[shick]

Chris, not much words of wisdom, but I'm with you and prayers being said in Pa.
Shick

[MR BILL SHORTY]

Chris prayers being said,GOD BLESS  Bill

[KevO]

I will pray for you today.  You hang in there.

[Abear]

Thanks everyone, working hard on keeping it together right now. The other day she came to my job.... well after she left there were a lot of comments on how I was treated. some told just kick her out , some said she just dont care , all and all the comments were very negative. I give in faith that the lord has a plan for me. I am healing slow , my stomach issues are a whole lot better and I am shooting again so.. something must be working.. getting to a peaceful state is hard but staying there is harder.The more faith i put in Gods plan for me the easier it has become. You are right you cannot control anothers free will but I am hopeing that God has the same influence on her as he has with me and that somehow  the love will come again.. I will look for it

[Doc Nock]

nobody said this journey would be easy, my friend.

I'm not a bible scholar but there is a passage that says something to the effect that Jesus stated that his path is a rocky one, with many stumbling stones... so expect to be challenged.

The end justifies the means...a lesson I lose track of daily it seems, but that doesn't mean it's not worth striving for and trying.

Again as said before, you're value is not measured by another (wife's) behaviors, but by your changes in YOUR old behaviors...

Go forth and conquer YOUR demons and let her wrestle her own... your job is to strive to be what Jesus wants YOU to be, not what your spouse or  anyone else would ask!

[Rookie@51]

Mr. Chris, just remember that those words from your friends/co-workers are just that. The devil will use any and every means to make you see the bad in this situation and your wife. The only goal he has in this whole thing is to tear your family apart and redirect your focus away from Christ. If he can't get you to buy into his lies he will use others to reinforce what he is telling you your eyes and ears are seeing and hearing. The only way to avoid this is to keep both focused on the SON as Doc would say. For in doing so He will direct your path in the right direction. Also guard your speaking as the devil can only use what he hears or what he sees going on in your life. See where God is working and move in that direction.

Proverbs 16:7
When a mans ways please the Lord even his enemies will be at peace with him.  

1 Peter 3:10
For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

I pray that this thing will soon be cleared up and you and your family be restored to the place you wish for. Lord in your time and in your way.......Dusty

[Abear]

Keep me in your prayers guys, having a really rough day today... havnt slept good in weeks and my mind keeps racing.. all the what ifs..I am keeping my faith in the lord but days like these are like daggers in the heart.. I am just afraid that if I cant keep this up we will end up seperated and divorced. its been a rough 4 months and its getting harder and harder to take . I dont know the limits i can go right now. just trying to focas on the good  right now. doubting yourself or your love one is hard.but I will try to keep my eyes on the son

[Doc Nock]

Reading your posts is like looking in a mirror.

Topic is different, but the problem is similar I think...

Lots of faith, but when it boils down to the moment-to-moment "walking the walk" I let my mind try to solve the puzzle and get stressed...

If that is what you do too, it's like taking apart your best fishing reel, taking it to God in a box to put back together, but he doesn't do it by Saturday and you want to go fishing so you just grab the box and in reality say, "Give me that. I"ll fix it on my own. Ineed that NOW!"

God bless you, brother.

Racing mind, sweaty palms...all denote a lost inner peace and trust.  Hope you are continuing with the counseling...

Prayers up brother...

Lord, in your mercy...

[Abear]

Doc the inner peace i havnt felt for a long time. I know it is me in a lot of ways. I realize buy my lack of action when things wernt as they seem before has created this trust issue in me, Unfortunatly the persistant untruth that has been told to me has created a mistrust that im trying to overcome. Everyone lies for various reasons,some are valid and necessary. but when the problem becomes a daily occurance it is hard to ignore. I am trying doc to look at the possibiliy that all of it is harmless andshould be dismissed . really I am praying daily and that in itself has keep me on the path im on now. I have the good days and bad. We all have are inner demons to fight. The battle is not lost on one bad day it just means the fight is not over. The inner peace you talk about will come in time and with God and the courage toface it ,It will come . of that I have no doubt. The lack of inner peace and turmiol is not something Im going throght alone and indeed conseling has helped some but has not addressed the real issues involved. Right now I am praying for my wife to have the inner peace she also needs . I would like us to be equal partners again with love and God at the center of it all. Will it come? who knows. but I do know another battle has been fought and I am again focased on what I need to do. Support Love and prayer, trust will come in time. I dont believe its to late only that what we are going though as a couple will go on until both of us have the inner peace and will to continue. I am not dumb enought to believe that the fault lies only on one. I am a sinner like everyone. we all have to accept that.there is no blame , we are and always have been equal partners , BUT Doc  when someone keeps thowing rocks at you will you not duck or try to get out of the way? I dont want to move and right now faith is whats making me stand my gound, the pain and emotional brusing is adding up and i am sorry for my last post but yesterday i just had to duck..  Doc I promise you that I will hold my faith in Gods hand and accept it. I will look for the Son and go on. Gods love never falters and his faith in us either.... neither will mine

sometimes you just need to talk to someone .my frends live far away and here I feel alone at times. I thank everyone for ther support but latly have been feeling bad on even posting anything here (feel im just whineing). there is a lot of pople going through a whole lot worse than me. I am lucky . I still have God , my wife and children and my health and a financial means to take care of them. Go with God everyone .

[Doc Nock]

I'm not a professional, but been down similar roads with a few... so here's an offer that you'd get from many on here... my email is on my profile.

Feel free to "whine" anytime... I promise you I will listen, but true to the nature of males, I will hold up mirrors...not because I have answers, but I know thru my journey my best growth came when others held up mirrors for me to see.

many reasons why people start to use untruths to avoid conflict or a myriad of other reasons.

Your willingness to sacrifice and endure stones, is a tribute.  What isn't rewarded in this realm on Earth is duly noted and makes God smile.

With the patience of Job, you will prevail... whether with this same woman or not is only known by God...

Don't ever feel your own anguish is trivial compared to other's suffering. Hurt is hurt!

Bring it...here or in email. I'm sure there are others here who would make you the same offer...

Being in community also means standing in the gap when one is knocked down by life's hurts. We're here brother.

Keep on Keeping the Son in your eyes!

[Rookie@51]

I too offer you the same E-mail option if you would like. Just PUSH through. Pray Until Something Happens.......Dusty

[Al Dente]

Hang in there and try think positive thoughts.  If only for your own well being.  Prayers sent.

[Doc Nock]

I hope that our friend has taken others up on their offer to provide off-line solace.

I received a very pained note, but had little to offer by way of directives in this situation.

May I request we all re-double our prayer efforts for our friend?  He surely and sorely is in need of God's Wisdom and direction

[Abear]

Guys thanks for the prayers, My world ended this morning< as far as my marriage is concerned ,Today I found out my wife has been with someone else ,she dont know I know, positive proof this time, so I have to go see a lawyer this week, worried about my two little girls, plus my step daughter who i rased since she was 7 had a baby last month she has a septis infection and will be in the hospital for awile pray for her to please. my grandbaby is sick to and we have him . I am at a loss now

[BenBow]

Prayers sent for God's best

[4dogs]

[MR BILL SHORTY]

Chris be strong you will get through this.Will continue prays for you and your children.

[Doc Nock]

Sorry for your news, but after our few exchanges, I'm glad that you at least have closure.  The unknown is often worse than knowing...

What feels unraveled is in His hands...God never gives more than we can handle with HIS help, but we have to surrender to know His power!

Having said that, I know it's true but what they don't say is that it may be MORE then we ever wanted to bear or thought (think) we can.

Liking it wasn't part of the deal...surviving and going onward and upwards is His promise!