Going away.(update 9-13-2013

[Killdeer]

Thinking kindly of you, Charlie, and hoping that you are finding yourself and are happy. Peace upon your heart. It is a good one.

Killdeer

[stringstretcher]

Thanks again everyone.  I just thought I would give an update of all that is going on.

I had my one year visit with my Dr. about the labrinthectomy surgery a week ago Monday.  The surgery was a success as to fixing a lot of the problems being caused by the bad vestibular function, but the areas that I wanted back the most are as he puts it long gone.  Sort of like, get over it and move on.  What you got is what you got.

I was diagnosed as being bi-polar two weeks ago. I am now on medication for that, but still have some really really bad days just being able to function the way the "old Charlie" did, and that I hate.  Even though he was never all that, I sure as hell do miss him.  I want him back, but he may be long gone as well.

I had blood work done three weeks ago, and quote un quote for the Dr.."you are a mess, and could be in some serious trouble if we don't get this worked on.  Diet, exercise, food, drink, and just about every thing I ever put in my mouth, was taken away.  My triglycerides were through the roof.  My vitamin D was almost now existent (don't know why) and I have to take 5000 units a day.  My bad cholesterol was great, but my good is extremely low.  And about half of the other values he checked were way off the chart.  Per him, a number one prime suspect for a stroke or heart attack,  and he means now.  

About 7 weeks ago, I hurt my right shoulder trying to start a frigging weed eater, and felt a sharp pain go from my shoulder down to my elbow. Today, it is all I can do to move my are in any way.  My primary Dr. told me Monday a week ago to get to an orthopaedic surgeon as soon as I possibly could, and don't lift any thing with that are.  Hell I can not move it let along lift with it.  I have an appointment Monday morning coming at 8 AM.

I know there are many many others that are a lot worst off than I, but when will it stop.  I would love to know.  So much has been taken away in the last four years, I could write a book.  I am just so tired of the drama, the wanting to do things, and here I sit.

I would love to find a deserted cabin in the mountains with a wood stove, and water near by and go there an stay, for a long long long time.

I also know that thing can get a lot worst.  I just pray every day that they do not and can once again become a whole person.  Right now, honestly, I have no idea who the hell I am any more.

Thanks and God Bless
Charlie

[BenBow]

Prayers sent Charlie. Nothing I can say will be enough so I'll just keep praying

[Doc Nock]

Charlie,

Your last note of Aug 1 seemed a lot more positive.

Sorry for your continued struggles but the depression won't go away in a day...didn't come in one and won't leave in one.

Hold onto what is precious, build as many positive moments as you can and KNOW that God is in control!

This is your chance to build a whole NEW Charlie that you can love even more!

Keep the Son in your eyes!

[BenBow]

Charlie I've struggled with bipolar and hated the middle ground that the drug kept me. I wanted what I thought was the old me which I wanted to be the man on the high end of the swing. The one everyone wished they had the energy to be but it was only pride. Pride based on what I could do and not on whose I was. Finally I realized God told me to accept myself for who I was and to praise and laugh to spite the problems. I have better more stable high now that doesn't USE my friends and family. So bury the old Charlie and find the real and precious Charlie that God created you to be.
Here's part of my nights devotions.
The True Master

Winter is essential for growth. Stripped down to the bare minimum, our economic, emotional or spiritual winter makes clear to us the essentials from the superfluous. No vanity and prideful attitude, we will call out “Abba, Father, I need you.” Thus, we begin a new season with new blessings.

“Lord, thank you that You are using this bleak season in my life to bring me to a new level. I thank you for this humbling experience. I submit myself to Your plan. Please let this lean time be my time to focus on You, my Lord and my God. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

[stringstretcher]

Just got back from the results of my MRI on my shoulder.  Torn Rotator Cuff.  Yep.  Only way to repair it will be surgery.  But since I already have surgery scheduled for my Baha Hearing Implant, the should surgery will have to be put off until I recover from that surgery and rehab.

So for now, cortisone injections into the shoulder, and rehab twice a week for four weeks.  They also found abnormal size and amounts of lymph nodes under my arm pit.  Suggested to see my primary care IMMEDIATELY.

So here is my life for the next 12 to 18 months.

Have rehab two times a week for four weeks.

Work on the bi-polar and blood counts.

Have Dr. visit for the lymph nodes????

Have Dr. visit on Oct 1 for the bi-polar and blood.

Have Dr. visit on Oct 9 for hearing aid fitting

Have Surgery on Oct 29th to implant the hearing aid.

8-12 weeks recovery and fitting to program the hearing aid.

Surgery after the above surgery for the rotator cuff..

6 months to a year recovery on that.

What does all this mean?  No hunting this year, no classic next year, and no hunting next year as well.  As well as no building bows, arrows, shooting bows..and on and on.

Such a wonderful day

Have Dr. visit

[Doc Nock]

Had the old fashioned rotator repair some years back...full cut, not arthroscopic.  That was Aug 27th and I was drawing and shooting my hunting bow by Oct.

Never say quit, Charlie.  Not like you...

One day at a time... and one foot in front of the other!

Keep the Son in your eyes!

[Cookus]

God bless you Charlie!   I will keep you in my prayers brother.   God will see you through this tempest...   Put your complete trust in him.   I read Mathew 6 this morning and as always, it was very comforting and inspirational.   This chapter in Mathew instructs us to not worry about the things that we cannot control...   God takes care of us if we let him.

God bless,
Kenny

[Cookus]

[stringstretcher]

It has been a tough couple weeks here.  One doctor after another, blood work, ct scans, and now comes the time to find out what else is happening in my body.

Tomorrow I go for a pre-surgery interview to get all the info on what they will be doing on Tuesday the 10th.  They found adnormal lymph nodes on both sides under my arm pits and across my chest.  Only way to find out what is wrong is to do a biopsy which I have to be at the hospital at 7:15 AM Tuesday morning.  They mentioned it could be about a 4 hour procedure. Just not sure yet and will not know until tomorrow just what they will be doing.

After the biopsy, I have to go back to see the oncologist September 16th to get all results to see what it is they found, and what my treatment options might be.

I sure could use more prayers folks, as to me, this is the hardest thing I have had to deal with yet.

[BenBow]

Prayers continue Charlie.

[Doc Nock]

Yup. Prayers continue!

[ronp]

Continued prayers for your recovery.

[john 1046]

I have had you on my prayer list since I saw your first request. The prayers will continue.

[stringstretcher]

I just got back from the biopsy and all went well.  I just wanted to again thank each and every one of my Traditional archery friends.  It has always been my pure pleasure to be in a group of such fine people.  Now it is just the wait.

[Doc Nock]

Weight (wait) broke the wagon down, but PATIENCE built it up again!

... glad there were no complications to the biopsy

Fret not and keep focused

Keep the Son in your eyes

[BenBow]

Prayers continue daily

[stringstretcher]

Once again I want to thank each and everyone for your prayers and thoughts.  I got my results back yesterday from my biopsy, and NO CANCER.   They are sure it is my sarcodosis that is showing up and active, but not to a point of concern just yet.  I will now wait six months and have another CT to see if the lymph nodes are changing and go from there.

I just want to say THANK YOU ALL, for you support, thoughts and prayers.  You don't know how much it means to me.

This will be the last time posting on this subject for a long time.  Now to move on to better things, archery related.

[BenBow]

Praise God & Gods continued best!

[Doc Nock]

Charlie,

In this case your silence will be "no news is good news".

Thank the Lord for the NO CANCER report! That report, while a God-send, doesn't not lessen your other challenges, for sure.  Keep focused, small steady steps on the path to inner peace and future fulfillment, Charlie!

Patience grasshopper, it will come!

Keep the Son in your eyes!