prayers for my wife and I

[halfseminole]

My wife has hit the wall on treatments for varicose veins of the uterus.  The wall is a hysterectomy, ovary sparing but still a hysterectomy.  Not only do we have to worry about her clotting disorders, for which she is on heavy doses of warfarin, we also want more than anything to have a child again.  She has been told that she will die if she attempts to carry a child again.

Adoption isn't an option, unless we find someone here willing to give us their child.  Surrogacy is off the table, as both her eggs and my sperm carry nothing but bad genetics due to our respective genetic conditions.  Mine is a literal death sentence.  It was for our Asher.

We don't know what to do, but my wife is only barely holding on to her sanity.  Every day I wonder if today is the day she cracks and I lose her, one way or the other.  I just don't know what to do.  Honestly, there's little I can do.  I pray, but others doing so could only help.  I keep praying God's will, and hoping that will won't break my wife, who has almost completely lost her faith after we lost our child.  I'm so lost, and I keep waiting for a break, but the news continues to get worse.

[BenBow]

Prayers for God's comfort, truth, protection from the enemies lies, and strength

[GRAYBEARD]

BenBow covered it. Prayers will continue.

[JMG]

Prayers sent from South Eastern Pennsylvania,,

[Doc Nock]

I delayed writing a comment.  Your latest note, as with others, touched me deeply.

I wish I had something grand to say to encourage you and/or your wife, but I do not...

I feel your pain, but am at a loss of words.

We all set our own emotional "Limits" in life as to what we can/will endure.  I've watched people with apparently greater faith than mine, endure what appeared to be repeatedly insurmountable trials, and kept smiling...

I will pray that the Good Lord keeps your and your wife's Faith strong and helps you cope thru this latest set of trials.

His Will is often not our own, but His knowledge is perfect and choices not fraught with our own wants and perceived needs!

Keep the Son in your eyes!

[halfseminole]

I don't believe that there is a limit to what I can withstand.  My wife, however, does.  It seems that everything sets her off, and her jealousy over others having kids has cost her some friends.  It leaves me wondering what a man can do in the face of such-thankfully, we have Christ to intercede in those moments.  

While I feel something is missing in life, I celebrate the time we had with him and try to live a life for two of us.  My wife has tied her entire self worth into that child and then blamed herself for his death.  If you wanted to get technical, he died from side effects of my own genetic disorder so if one were to blame the fault would have to be laid at my feet, not that my child would ever blame.  He was too gloriously happy for that.

We mourn different things.  I won't get to tell my son about his heritage on my side, or build him his first bow, or smear grease on his face while we work on the car, or even teach him to walk.  My wife resents the firsts that the hospitalization cost us, and she resents the fact that other "worse" mothers can bear and keep children, and you can see the pattern.  She just can't let go of her grief.

I thank you all for the prayers, even if I fear that this will take a turn for the worst.  God has provided for me, and He will continue to do so.  He provides for my wife, even if she blinds herself to it.  I'm just glad to have a place to share what burdens my heart.

[BenBow]

Praying for God to heal the pain in your wife's heart filling it with His love. Prayers continue for you both

[DennyK]

Prayers for healing and comfort sent. God has not given us a spirit of fear, peace and a sound mind comes from Him. God Bless!

[shick]

halfseminole, I'm sure there is nothing I can say to help you and your wife cope with this situration, but know this; for what it is worth, my wife and I are praying for you every day.
Shick

[CoilSpring]

Ed,
Your words are Truth: "...-we have Christ to intercede in those moments."

We all are inadequate, imperfectly human.
 
Christ alone can...
...touch her heart
...relieve her pain
...give her Hope
...keep her sane
...accept her blame, and
...give her Peace that passes all understanding, but the greatest of these He gives is Love.

May our Father's Holy Spirit love her with the love she needs, calm her grief with His still small voice, and open her eyes with His Wisdom and Truth, so that she is wholy His and still yours to love.  God is that Love. Christ is that Life.  There is nothing else.    

Ed,
Asher doesn't want you to mourn for him. As you so proudly described your son, "...he was too gloriously happy for that." He was happy because he was yours and he was so loved by his Dad and Mom, but he also knew he was soon to be His. Because Asher didn't reach the age of accountability, his spirit lives in a new and perfect body, free from pain and death, forever with Christ.  He is still Gloriously Happy with his Heavenly Father and Saviour, but sad for you and his Mom in your suffering. He has tears for you both, still, but they are wiped away by God, for they all know you both will one day join them in the Glory of Heaven - for Christ keeps those, with whom He has been entrusted - you and your wife. Faith cannot be lost. Faith is the Substance of things Hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen. Asher now sees and lives in that evidence not seen by man.  He sees clearly now (not through muddy reflections), but through God's Perfect Truth.

This world is NOT fair! Both of my children have suffered it.  And it pains us all to see you both suffer, like Job, in this dreadful world of sin. But I encourage you to choose to be like Job! When in his pain and losses, he kept on praising God, without blame. Continue seeking His face, looking to His Living Word, Who saves us.  Count it all joy, as James said, when you have all these trials and tests.  These trials are certainly painful, and not deserved, BUT, by Christ, "...we are healed by His stripes."  We are blessed when we suffer like He suffered- when we emulate Him, so He is glorified.  

You, Ed, are emulating Christ, and you Sir are a blessing to me. You lift me up to see the man of God you are, using all his strength to simply STAND!...like Christ stood, when He suffered for you and I on that old wretched cross.  I stand with you, brother, and lift you and your wife to our Father in Heaven, who can heal all your hurt and pain.  

May God give you rest tonight and strengthen you for your tomorrow.  May he give you Joy, for therein is your strength to endure.  

God Bless.

[BenBow]

amen

[Doc Nock]

Wow! Wish I could come up with such sanctified things to share as encouragement!

You, too, Tim, speak volumes in small statements!

Amen, Indeed!

[Kanwin]

Ed
My wife and I struggled to have children and the pain was almost unbearable for her. The issue was tough for her because the docs could not give us an explaination. One night I felt god spoke to me that there was a child that needed us and we suppose to adopt. Through his miracles we had a baby daughter in our house 9 days later.

That was 25 years ago. My wife is now 58 and I am 56. We now have 6& 7 year old sons we have adopted. A uterus isn't necessary to have kids you can love.

I pray you both come to know God never takes loved ones from us. He only receives them with loving arms. Praying for you both.
Your brother in Christ
Bert

[BenBow]

I pray you both come to know God never takes loved ones from us. He only receives them with loving arms. Praying for you both.  

AMEN!!!

[GRAYBEARD]

Your faith and strength are enviable. Prayers continue.

[PaPaFrank]

you and your wife will remain in my thoughts and daily prayers...