This is not something I have talked about publicly, but I have been suffering greatly the past three weeks since the death of my best friend, only sibling, and older brother.
He was shot in the chest and abdomen, and lost most of his internal organs and suffered in the hospital before dying after a day and a half later. This was the worst thing I have experienced, and wish that the pain would subside.
The main reason I joined this site was because of seeing the work in this forum on bow building. My dream the past few months was to build two of Kenny's R/D Longbows and take them the next time I was to visit my brother. Knowing him he would have asked if I could make one for him, and then I could tell him to take his pick between the two bows and give one to him.
I know this would have been a great joy to him and as much so to me. I have thought this scenario through hundreds of times since this fall, thinking of how happy it would make him and the joy I would feel from being able to do that for him.
The only thing that really held me back was finding a bandsaw. Weekly I looked on Craigslist, but they never came up for sale near me. This kept me from taking the first step in making these bows, but now I see I may just need to find other ways to work.
Now despite being delusional that I might get to just talk to him one last time, it pains me that I did not have this chance to see him again or to give him a bow that I made. I will never get the chance to do it now and that is a hard reality I need to come to grips with.
I do not know why I am sharing this. I guess I need to tell someone. My wife is very supportive, but I feel that you guys would understand this as it is archery related. Plus I am finding that I am growing distant from my wife and two small children. I just feel like I am in a different world then everyone else. I find myself sitting and staring off into the distance feeling lost.
Anyways, I want to build the bows regardless of the fact I can not give it to my brother. In fact I was thinking of making both bows and then I could bury one with him this summer. I know that might sound strange, but I think that might help me heal a little. Kind of like in the old days where knights were buried with this swords.
So I am seeking advice as to making these bows. I was thinking of making a form like the ones Kenny has posted, but I do not have a bandsaw to cut them out. So I am thinking of trying to do the clamp up style with blocks like Roy has shown.
I wish that I had someone to work with on this as I feel a void with the passing of my brother. For instance I went stump shooting yesterday, and I kept feeling a sorrow that I would never get to do this with my brother. He was only 36 years old. I always imagined that we would have at least another 50 years together to walk in the woods or sit on the porch and tell our stories of the stupid things we used to do when we were younger. Now it is just me, and always will be.
Anyways, I do not know what I am looking for or asking really. I just want to build two R/D longbows, one for my brother, and one for myself.
I guess I am just rambling about the desire for something I can no longer attain. Feeling like sharing the fact that I wish I would have been more involved in my brothers life.
So if you have loved ones, take the time to be involved in their life while you have the chance. You never know when you will loose them. In fact just two weeks ago I almost lost my wife in a car accident as well. She is fine now, but thank God she is here with me through these times.
So back to the bows. I want to build two the same, but as simple as possible. I am finding it hard to make myself do simple things right now, but I think that working on these bows might be good for me.
I want to build them with glass, and make them as similar as possible. I do not have much money to spend on them as my wife and I spent nearly $5000 on our trip and other expenses for helping with things.
So I am hoping to be able to build these nicely, but as inexpensively as possible so that I can have them ready for this summer when we bury his ashes up in the mountains in Colorado.
Thanks for listening, and thanks for your advice.
Dave