The Great ShrewHaven Regular St Jude Grudge Match

[Roger Norris]

*****************************NOTE******************************************************
Ray Lyon and I are dear friends,this is all in fun. And we don't believe our own smack. That said, this might get ugly.....

It is important to know that we have a years long ShrewHaven text going, and we debate, argue, and generally beat each other up every day. Recently, Ray Lyon has taken exception to the well documented fact that I am the greatest bow shooter since archery was invented. It bothers him that the world renowned Norris Totally Accurate Archery Rankings lists the world greatest archers as:

1. ME
2. ME AGAIN
3. Greg Nicolaou

Not Raymond.

Therefore, we have decided to have a "Grudge Match" shoot off. I proposed we meet at Compton, shoot an agreed upon range, and I nominated Tom Jenkins as the impartial judge. Winner takes all Grand Prize would be a bottle of Blantons.

Ray wouldn't have it. He claims to have a travel conflict because of his daughters graduation (I have known Ray 20 years, and this is the first I have heard of a daughter, I'm certain he is making that up). He wants to have the contest up near his house, at a mutual friends 3D course (and obvious ploy at home field advantage). His accountants evil mind also concocted some extravagant method of deciding what bow we should use.

I say we should both shoot our new Shrew Li'l Favorites.  Ray is trying to confuse me with choices and balance sheets.

I believe I will agree to his home field advantage ploy, but for balance I have enlisted Ron LaClair as my coach. Aside from me being the worlds greatest 1st and 2nd place archer, Ron is pretty good too.

Ray also balked at the Grand Prize of a bottle of Blantons. His excuse was "we can't find it around here" :laughing We all know he has a case of Blantons stashed in his cherry cellar, but is too stingy to share. So I countered with donating a like amount to St Judes. So here is my re-wager: Loser donates $100 to St Judes.

Thats where you fine people come in. I encourage you to pick a side. Even if you choose Ray. And wager on your choice. If your guy loses, you donate. If your guys wins, you should still donate. 

So pick a side, and please pick Ray so that the kids get a bunch of money. We won't be shooting this match until summer, so we have plenty of time to talk about the Norris Totally Accurate World Archery Rankings, once again:

1. ME
2.ME
3. Greg Nicoloau

Not Ray.

Raymond,you rebuttal is welcomed. 

[Wudstix]

Makes total sense, sounds fair. 

[Ray Lyon]

WOW, you get tied up in meetings and family dinner and then you come here and see the reincarnation of the old Ron LaClair versus Denny Sturgis, Jr. shooting challenges from Tradgang days gone by.  Now Roger may claim outrageous feats with his bow shooting acumen??!🤔🤔. I’m not going to pretend I’m a great shot and certainly not in the league of Ron or Denny.  I do know Roger shoots about ten times the volume of me every year, so if you’re all ‘wagering’ on someone, you should keep that in mind. But y’all have to ask yourselves the following few questions:
1) Would Howard Hill have cared about where he was shooting a match?
2) If I was the greatest bow shot ever, would I care about what bow I had in my hands against a mere mortal?
3) I have one opened bottle of Blantons and I’ve only had two bottles in my possession because up here in the great northwest part of Lower Michigan we rarely see a bottle of Blantons. When I did see it I bought two bottles, which was the limit the store would allow, and I gave one of those bottles to Roger’s new shooting coach, Ron LaClair, because I know how much he appreciates it and has the same trouble finding it.  So obviously I would not be afraid to put up a bottle of blantons if I had any remote chance of finding one. 
But, I get Rogers ploy. He’s got to write a good tale to build himself up and convince himself that him beating me is in the realm of possibilities.  For those of you who need to understand the relationship between Roger and my shooting skills, we’ll just consider me as the New England Patriots and Roger all the others.
And, if you’d like a little more factual/concrete answer about shooting (and hunting) prowess, just ask Ole Sledge who has put more deer on the Shrewhaven deer pole over the years?  It’s a real simple question Roger, you or me, who’s put more deer on the pole?   

 

[Ron LaClair]

You gotta give Roger credit being smart enough to get a former World Longbow Champion as a coach....and I've got the Trophy to prove it

[Ray Lyon]

I’m really glad to see Roger enlisting the services as a coach, as it’s important to understand when you know you need help. 

By the way Roger, it’s understandable that you would have amnesia about my daughter and her graduation. Had she not gotten so involved in running and preparing herself to move on to college athletics, she would have loved to join in and teach you how to shoot a Lil Favorite.  None the less, I have great memories of her times she ventured into the woods with me. 
Morgan getting ready to graduate and take on college:

It feels like I blinked and this happened.  but I digress just enough to show the Gang there’s a few holes in Rogers above story.

[Ray Lyon]

Not sure how I messed up pictures but here’s Morgan with her Lil Favorite after a morning hunt

Back then she would have loved to show Roger a thing or two about shooting

[Roger Norris]

Raymond, Raymond, Raymond. You have clearly photo shopped super models and are pretending they are your daughters. Aint no way beauty like that sprung forth out of your gene pool 

And I understand that you want to keep your case of Blantons a secret. We both know why....

You do realize that other members of ShrewHaven have signed on, right? Eric I, Eric II, and Kevin all want a shot at the title. Therefore, I will do the shoot off anywhere the group chooses.

You actually might have more deer on the ShrewHaven pole than me, but heck Ray.....you have been a member at least 5 years longer. As an excellent accountant, you should probably have a flung arrow:dead deer data sheet somewhere.

Mr. LaClair, as much as I do respect your archery accomplishments, posting a picture of you shaking hands with a porn star clearly violates your contract.

Remember:

1. ME
2. STILL ME
3. Greg The Greek

[elkken]

Well I know where the first $100 of my St Judes money is going this year … this is entertainment   

[Trenton G.]

Seeing how you guys are all shrewhaven members, I say the proper place to have the shoot out would be in the U.P. Preferably at the range in Ishpming so that I can come watch.

[STICKBENDER98]

This could get interesting, I think neutral ground should be considered.  The Barryton  Stickbow  Shoot should be close to middle  ground to those in the match. If everyone could wait until the end of July to settle this match.   

Jason

[Ray Lyon]

Seeing how you guys are all shrewhaven members, I say the proper place to have the shoot out would be in the U.P. Preferably at the range in Ishpming so that I can come watch.

Love going to the UP and especially the Huron Bakery in Ishpeming!  I’ve seen a lot of cross country ski racing at Al Quaal over the years and maybe it’s time to see Ishpeming when it’s not buried in snow.

[Ron LaClair]

Mr. LaClair, as much as I do respect your archery accomplishments, posting a picture of you shaking hands with a porn star clearly violates your contract.

Roger, making fun of one of the highlights of my archery career has forced me to release this picture taken just a few years ago at the Elm Hall traditional shoot. You and Greg Nicolaou
 got your butt's whipped by the old man. To make matters worse I did it with an old bow that I had never shot before and had just bought off someone's table.

[Ray Lyon]

ouch, right for the jugular 😬😬

[Roger Norris]

Mr. LaClair, as much as I do respect your archery accomplishments, posting a picture of you shaking hands with a porn star clearly violates your contract.

Roger, making fun of one of the highlights of my archery career has forced me to release this picture taken just a few years ago at the Elm Hall traditional shoot. You and Greg Nicolaou
 got your butt's whipped by the old man. To make matters worse I did it with an old bow that I had never shot before and had just bought off someone's table.

Ron, your ability with a longbow is legendary. But your ability with photoshop is amazing for an old timer huddling under a buffalo robe! Bravo!

[Bigriver]

I just want to know where to get a bottle or 4 of Blantons, it's like liquid gold. That would be great incentive to train.

[Roger Norris]

I just want to know where to get a bottle or 4 of Blantons, it's like liquid gold. That would be great incentive to train.

Ray has most of it. He hides it in his cellar from Ron. Myself, I never touch the stuff. 

[Bigriver]

Sounds like a good strategy 

[Ray Lyon]

Roger travels to Kentucky to see customers on a regular basis.  He makes moonshiners look like they’re out for a Sunday drive and he’s hauled more premium bourbon than cases of beer in Smokey and the Bandit run.

[Ron LaClair]

I heard he dropped a Grand at the Liquor Barn on his last trip. I don't touch the stuff myself

[Roger Norris]

I remember having a curmudgeonly accomplice on that adventure....