Unpleasant experiences in an otherwise amazing new hobby

[NCPA Kris]

Hi all,
New member to the site and fairly new to traditional archery overall. First attended ETAR in 2022 at the suggestion of a close friend who for years tried convincing me to ditch the wheels. The trad atmosphere and community spirit at ETAR and the 8 trad multi-day events we’ve travelled to each year in 2023 and 2024 sealed the deal… my youngest son and I have been hooked ever since, along with my Dad & brother too. We’ve met a ton of incredible people and vendors who’ve helped us on this exciting journey.

The reason for this post, however, is due to some heartburn that just doesn’t seem right and am hoping you all might be able to share some thoughts because I’m not getting anything from the source. The close family friend has for decades been purchasing items from a well-known supplier – I guess you’d call them – in the traditional community and comes highly recommended from anyone we've ever talked to. I’ve bought numerous items over the last few years from them as well at ETAR. Last year, my father and I were trying on several items when the owner advised she could do any customization we wanted. We decided on 2 or 3 pieces and she took our order for them with shorter sleeves, longer sleeves, for a better fit. When she told us she’d have them done and shipped out the following week we encouraged her there was no need to turn them around that quick given the exhaustion after ETAR but she was adamant she’d have them done and call us in August for payment.

August came and went… then September and October. My dad tried calling but got no answer or return call after leaving a message. Then he tried following up with a text message as the website suggested. He got a reply. “Yes, I still have your order, I’ll call you next week.” No return call. Weeks go by, then I tried calling in November, left a detailed message and requested a call back. No return call. I tried again in December. Voicemailbox not accepting any messages. I tried again in January. Same thing, so I sent a text message asking how to deal with an order if I can’t talk to someone or leave a message. Immediately got a call back. “What would you like to order? She asks.

When I explained the order was placed in July 2024 and she told us then it would be shipped in August, things started going downhill. No explanation as to why she didn’t return any of our calls asking for help understanding what’s going on even though she told my Dad she would, no reason why the order slip she found at her desk was still just sitting at her desk, nothing. Just interruptions trying to talk over me. It wasn’t a pleasant call and I felt as if I was inconveniencing someone who couldn’t be bothered. The resolution at the end of our 15-minute conversation at the beginning of January 2025 of her asking if we still wanted the items (Yes, or we wouldn’t continue trying to get a hold of you) was, she gave me her word she could and would make the 2 or 3 items over the weekend and would call us “in a few days” to pay for them. Still sitting here waiting on that call. The whole experience has left everyone in my circle dumbfounded. I’ll keep the company under wraps, but any advice? Anyone going through similar experiences?  Pretty confident our days in supporting this outfit are nearing the end.

~Kris

[The Whittler]

That's too bad and there is no excuse especially this long and no reason why. Hope you get some satisfaction and if not let us know so nobody else has to go through the same thing.

[McDave]

I have no idea who you're talking about, but from the events you relate, it would seem that some small business has had a personal disaster or at least a setback, like a death in the family.  It happens.  From what you state, you haven't paid anything yet (“would call us in a few days to pay for them.”) so you're really not out any money.  If that is the case, probably the greatest kindness you could do is to just let it go, and not contact them again.  If they contact you again, and you are still interested, then maybe you could pick up where you left off.

[2wfstlhunting]

It is always demoralizing to take the time and interest in someone, and then essentially be left on the desk.  It sounds very odd indeed and not consistent with her purported reputation.  As you have no money down, just emotional investment, the ball is in your court.  You can of course just let it ride and see if it ever comes to fruition, assuming that you will still want it if it ever gets delivered, sit on it for now and if she contacts you in the future you can accept or decline the product (or much less politely ghost her).  I personally have decided that I will give folks a second chance and make followup calls or emails but walk away after that.  If they can not enter into a responsible business transaction without being cajoled, reminded, or guilted into that transaction, then why bother.  Walk away and spend your money elsewhere to support someone who does do it right.

[ed lash]

Best thing here is to walk away and let it go. Sorry this happened to you, and the trad community is usually very solid…proud to be good people. Something is probably going on with her.
The high ground is to forgive (not necessarily forget) and move on.