Sheesh! I take off on an overnight fishing trip with my mate, who happens to be a beautiful, six foot tall, Nordic Goddess from Norwegian Airlines, and I come back to more verbal sewage!
I remember the time in Georgia when we were filming with Gene and Barry and we went into a Shoney's restaurant. We had to wait about 5 minutes for a table... Gene was hungry (so what's new) and went around eating scraps off other people's plates on vacated tables. THEN the idiot goes over to a table full of southern red necks and asks for some bacon! I already had my escape route picked out!
Calgary Alberta: a really CLASSY, wee breakfast restaurant with lace table cloths, fine china, and a lovely view. They only made one mistake when they remodled this place...they put the men's room right off the wall of the dinning area with no corridor.
As usual, Gene orders enough for about 8 REAL people (my size) and starts scarfing it up. This is one of those times when you don't let your hands stray too far from your plate, or they'll get bitten off, if you get my drift.
In walk four MOUNTIES...you know, the Sergeant Preston types with the fancy red uniforms. Now we note the second mistake of the day...they sit in the table closest to the men's room door! About this time Gene gets that "I'm topped up look on his face and anxiously looks around for the you-know-what.
Within moments, some really gross noises are coming through the men's room door and then the air, once prefumed with the scent of freshly baked cinnamon rolls, changes to something slightly worse than the settling ponds in the Calgary sewer treatment plant. Two tables immediately emptied out and they weren't that near the door to the can. I watched the faces on the Mounties...They are sort of like the Queen's guards...they can't let on that something is bothering them...they just sit there grim faced. The give away, with these stoic guys is when their skin begins to turn a lovely shade of green.
Then Gene opened the door (and, of course, left it open) and walked into the room again. I heard a thump behind him and saw one of the Mounties slumped over on the floor! I grabbed the check, paid it, and got out the door with out taking more than three breaths. Lucky I had been a free diver for all those years and could hold my breath for a full three minutes.
All my really good blackmail photos are on the film kind and sitting in a file in Montana, but when I get back, there will be MANY photos posted to this site. Paybacks are one of the fun things that I really love.
Gene did forget about the time we were in his Blazer going fishing and I took a slug of my coke...only to find I had gotten his spit can by mistake. Having your stomach pumped is NOT a pleasant experience.
Too F. Short, but danged pourd of it (I'm also pourd to be dislexic)!
Topic: A Great Brunner Story (Read 12549 times)
