A Childhood Tale of Archery Woe

[robtattoo]

I read this on another forum & tought it was worth repeating here, for y'alls amusement.

Hope this is OK with Rob & Terry, if not I understand completely.

Lets read on........


08-12-10 11:30 AM - Post#886560      


Don't know if this has been posted before but I'll start this by saying, it wasn't me as a kid...but very EASILY could have been.

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass long bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough SOB.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazzard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger. I'll put it this way - a set of post hole diggers and 3 ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner...let's face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of dad's muzzleloader pyrodex. At this point , I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie...1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz. ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Heck with that. I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.

Now we're cookin.' I stepped back about 15 ft. and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and let fly. As I released I heard a swish as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck...OH CRAP he just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh. Hell. When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 MF'n decibel of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft. above
the ground as far as I could see.

It was like a little low to the gound layer of dust fog full of grass hoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAMN DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE...There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That mother got up and ran off.. So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback. ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU BRINGIN'EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE GOLLDAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires...I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either...not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke up later....repeat his process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more.

Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom. One thing is for sure...I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating. Or both. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

[magnus]

Brings back a lot of memmories Rob! Thanks for sharing.
Magnus

[Whip]

Ah, the innocence of youth and blissful memories of a wonderful childhood!          

[Irish]

That was funny!!  

[BowMIke]

I could see it happening to any spirited youngster! I remember shooting arrows straight up into the air and watching them fall around me.  They would go so high you sometimes couldn't see them and then here they came back! That was fun!

[hayslope]

     

I don't think I'll be able to get those mental pictures out of my head!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll be laughing for a week..........

[rushlush]

Too funny!

[Jeremy]

I remember reading that story around here before.  Still funny!      
With me it was firecrackers, relaoding supplies and model airplanes  

[Bjorn]

And just when I needed a good laugh!            

[hvyhitter]

Thats also why you dont see alot of the old GI JOES around...ol joe could take a .410 load of #4s while doused in flaming lighter fluid and still take 10 min to melt into and unrecognizable blob.....never did blow up anything important but did pepper the shed a time or two....oh and the old bear geeenies will only stick in joes chest to the bleeder from a 43# browning wasp.....wonder if a grizzly would do any better.

[rastaman]

Mine was shooting at the end of a 12 guage shotgun shell with a bb gun trying to make it "explode" from a distance of about 10 feet. i finally connected and the brass end kicked back and hit me in the face...learned my lesson!  This story brought back some memories AND made me laugh!  Thanks for sharing Rob!

[recurvecody]

man i'm glade i'm not the only who done stupid stuff at my house with explosives! i took about three or four of those morter shells and shoved them in a pvc tube, i aint ever had beating so bad in my life.  

[buckeye_hunter]

Pyrodex, a fuse and some PVC with endcaps make an interesting way to dispose of old metal file cabinents....don't try it though....

[Thumper Dunker]

Funny.  rastaman you was doing it wrong you put the shell right on the end of the barrel. We also taped shot shells to the end of our arrows so when they hit the arrow tip would set the shell of.Look im still alive a little funny but alive.

[lpcjon2]

I blame Bo and Luke Duke (poor hot Daisy was just a victim of her upbringing) and those wheels with the dynamite tapped arrows. Made me use all the class A powder my dad had for loading shotgun shells to write my name in the lawn,And drop an arrow at it.My dad never bought the "It wasnt me" when I practically autographed it. Thanks Bo and Luke

[wv lungbuster]

[Mudd]

I was taken back to a time when I was living out the "There ain't no point in being stupid unless you show it!" early years.

I decided originally not to post this but instead send it to Rob.

Here is his reply:
           
That's priceless!!!

I often though about playing around with my Dad's old .303 rounds & a length of copper pipe, however, something (possibly a latent, genetic survival trait) always stopped me before committing to the nail-whack you describe!

You gotta post up your story!

Thanks man,

Rob.

I have often heard the statement.. "don't encourage him!"...lol

Here is my PM to rob:
Rob,
I laughed until until tears were rolling!!! at your "Childhood Tale of Archery Woe" post.

I didn't post my response because I didn't want to detract from your post.

Another reason is it hit way too close to home...lol

I was about the same age and everyone had gone to town without me. I must have been out of earshot when they left because I was all alone at home.

I got to goofing around with shotgun shells. I'd open them up and use the shot for a spoke gun made from a bicycle spoke and kitchen matches but that's a different story..lol

I was opening up the last one I had and got to wondering if I could set it off with the hammer and a nail.
I wanted to do this safely so I emptied out the shot but left the powder in. I then put the shell in a vice that was set up just inside the pole barn. I got it all clamped in good and held the nail on the primer and gave it a whack with the hammer. I made a good dent in it but it didn't go bang! I decided that I needed to hit it a little harder even though I knew that I'd seen spent shells that didn't have as much dent in them as I had just put into this one.

I was awfully disappointed at this point in time. As I stood there pondering the situation I saw the telltale dust plume that told me the family was returning and if I was going to pull this off, it had to be now or never. So I drew that hammer back (all the way back into yesterday) and let it fall.... dang I never expected how bad it could be. The back blast pushed the hammer so far back I hit myself in the back with the claws. That hurt!!  and drew blood.
But it didn't hurt nearly as much as my head did..lol I mean ringing doesn't come close to what I was hearing. I had to hold myself back because what I wanted to do was run to momma screaming..lol I just knew I was bleeding through every hole in my head(not) just watering eyes..lol

I remember seeing mom and dad getting out of the truck. I could see mom's mouth moving and she was looking directly at me so I knew it was me she was talking to. I just smiled as big as I could must and waved real big..lol It must worked because she turned her attention back to the rest of the kids, dad and all those grocery sacks.

I made myself scarce so I wouldn't need to interact with anyone. I knew I's be in deep trouble if mom or dad figured out I had deafened myself( I didn't know it at the time but it turned out only a temporary situation)...

You are welcome to share this if you want but I couldn't put it out there and possibly minimize
or diminish your post in any way.

God bless,Mudd

[NorthernCaliforniaHunter]

Dang Mudd, I did the SAME THING! It blew me away how much power is in a shotgun shell primer! But not nearly the same bang you get by packing a modified toy flint-lock pistol with the crushed propellant of a model rocket engine... That took a long time to recover from and my butt still smarts from the lickin' I got afterwards.

[Mudd]

NCH-"Dang Mudd, I did the SAME THING! It blew me away how much power is in a shotgun shell primer!"

I left the powder in mine...lol Just removed the lead shot.

I learned how to say "Stupid!" afterward!!

God bless,Mudd

[Butch Speer]

Mudd,
That's the reason you don't like grits & do like mackerel, oatmeal & honey. That blast blew out your taste buds!