Thanks to all, old friends on here and new.
I guess I knew that if I posted, I'd get a lot of wonderful support and input and thought-provoking feedback.
You've all helped tremendously. You made me stop and reflect without all the emotion that was attached initially--- I guess you helped me be more objective.
I've noted before that when things are 'unsettled' in life, my instinct to kill is always diminished. As a boy growing up in the farm community, I know if you want to eat it, "you gotta kill it whether it's a carrot or a cow!"
I've always felt the reality of a life I take very seriously, which is why I process my own deer entirely... I owe it to them.
Truth is that a couple hours after I take these danged anti-biotics, I get pretty sick in the gut and feel all sorts of "odd" (EZ, Killie, I know I AM odd, but this is different!)
:rolleyes:
I couldn't put it together all the rest of the weekend or into MOnday, but reading all the great notes, brought it in focus.
My Sad Meter is pretty full...and it has to be something pretty serious to merit the taking of a life right now... and then given the work after the shot, I'm ok in the AM, but later in the day... not so much.
First 2 weekends, I left the woods early for the same reason...this time, I stayed.
Funny... I was more excited to have the ghillie suit work well inside 15 yards than I was to make meat. Got a few more outings to go and hopefully, when the meds clear my system, I can get back to enjoying the pursuit of my winter's meat and the effort involved that I've always enjoyed.
Again, thanks to all my old and new friends for the posts, emails and PMs. By admitting to some sense of ambivilance, I've been blessed in many ways. Thank you All!!!