You might be a Redneck if......

[EL Mejor]

I'AM NOT RED.BUT THIS PROBABLY COULD BE CONSIDERED REDNECK.HAVENT SHAVED MY BEARD SINCE JULLLLLY,AND LOOK LIKE THE BUCK COMMANDER BY NOW.LOVE HUNTIN ANYTHING,AND EAT IT TO. MAKE BIG BON FIRES IN MY BACK YARD,DRINK WHISKEY,DRIVE A BIG TRUCK,HAVE PRETTY WELL EQUIPPED WIFE,WHOS TUFF AS NAILS,AND 4 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS,HAVE A BUNCH OF BOWS, LOVE SHOOTIN TRAD ANY CHANCE I GET,HAVENT SEEN TO MANY LIKE ME IN THESE PARTS OF THE CITY.HAVE A LOT OF GOOD FRIENDS THAT LIVE UP NORTH IN THE WOODS, THAT LIKE THE SAME PASS TIME THAT I LIKE.  MY NEIGHBORS,DOWN HERE IN THE BRONX THINK IM CRAZY AND THEY CALL ME, RAY THE MOUNTAIN MAN...AND BY THE WAY I FORGOT I LOVEEEEE FISHIN. THATS A CITY REDNECK...LOL

[wtpops]

Originally posted by snag:
...you might be a redneck if you consider roadkill legal game.  After swerving and hitting a deer on the way to your hunting grounds you stop and load up your kill by putting it in the back seat of your sedan. Driving home with a grin on your face you find he was just knocked out. After he came back to his senses he kicked the poo out of you. You escape with your life but in bad shape. So you call 911 asking for a "bambulance"......

.....and then while you are asking 911 for the bambulance a stray dog comes up and starts attacking you....

I never laughed so hard as when i heard that 911 tape.

[Bonebuster]

You might be a redneck if you choose your kids birthday presents so they are of a common household caliber.

Or, you might be a redneck if your soon to be thirteen yr old asks for a meat smoker for Christmas.  :D

[sswv]

hey Zradix!    It's all in fun brother.  

[SEMO_HUNTER]

You might be a redneck if you've ever thawed out bait shrimp in your hotel bathroom sink to go dock fishing with later off the pier across the road from the motel.
Then come back and clean fish on the balcony, dump the leavins in the community dumpster on the way to Wally World to purchase a Fry Daddy, corn meal, and some canola oil.  

[USN_Sam1385]

quote:Originally posted by bowtough:
If you got a tree stand in your front yard,and you hang deer in the big tree along your driveway.  

[USN_Sam1385]

You might be a redneck:

If you have a gun safe in your room.

If you haven't bought any street clothes in 5+ years as you'd rather spend the money on hunting clothes/gear.

If you plan your honeymoon so that you come back from your wedding the day before Spoonbill Snagging season opens.

If you've ever hauled a truck load of composted manure for your garden.

If you think cowboy boots are completely acceptable for every day wear, in every situation.

If your wife gets mad at you for trying to cook your Euro mount on the kitchen stove.

If you decided your kid's tire swing makes a great target for 'stump' shooting.

If opening day of deer season is like your holy day, and you plan all other life events around it.

If your 'church' is in a deer stand somewhere.

You have a 10 step plan for what to do in the event of a world crisis, and you also have enough ammunition.

[JohnnyWayne]

You might be a redneck if your brother's wife is your wife's cousin...

This for me is a true story, I used it to start off my best man speech at my brother's wedding    Broke the ice pretty well and my dad (who lives in a converted dry stack on the side of a hill in Alabama) nearly fell outta his seat he was laughing so hard  

Can't wait to get back up there this summer, brings back memories and my daughter loves the country  

[wildgame]

When you have more money in mounts than your house!LOL

[Chuck Wyatt]

...If your "go to town" shoes are boots. The really nice ones in the closet are old, look new and only see your feet at weddings and funerals.

...If you actually know what regular gasoline tastes like. (Dirt bike's out of gas but you got a chunk of garden hose and a full tank in the truck)

...something has been skinned in our yard.

[WESTBROOK]

You boys are on a roll!!

[LimBender]

You might be a redneck if . . .

you've climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sisters honor

you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth,

you're family tree is a wreath,

while mowing your lawn you discover a car (shot up with cedar arrows to keep it on topic).

[Montanawidower]

You stop by the local game processor to pick up elk carcasses for the pack of hunting dogs that call your place home.  You then throw said carcass in the front yard.  Oh and your entertainment on cold winter days is watching said dogs squabble over and guard the carcass from ravens and magpies. Sort of my own version of watching national geographic.  Oops did I say "my" I mean a redneck.

PS  You should see the place after snow melts... looks like a bone yard.  

[sagebrush]

You might be redneck if you set off the smoke alarm in your hotel room by cooking bacon and eggs on the coleman camp stove you snuck through the window. Gary

[Zradix]

You might be a redneck if...

You whittle a log down in to a stick.

Tie a string to it that you made from inedible animal parts.

Use a reed you pulled out by the roots from a swamp as an arrow.

And at the tip of that reed fasten a sharp rock using more inedible animal parts and pine sap.

Then go use your contraption to find a new bath room wall decoration.

[straitera]

Redneck if;

1. the taxidermist's on speed dial.

2. your wife checks you for ticks

3. wear camo to church

4. know a shortcut to WalMart

5. bowfish w/dynamite.

6. bought your wife's anniversary present in your draw weight

[Karebru]

...You get a peronalized Christmas card from a pawn shop.

[kwc]

if you ask your wife whats for dinner and she ask you what you picked up on the road

[adeeden]

....Your idea of a seven course meal is a backstrap and a 6 pack!

[Hopewell Tom]

...if a new, clean pair of overalls are for going to town in.