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[STOBBER]

[Killdeer]

Toby pulled to a sliding stop and glared out the open window. Two fiery coals for eyes glowed from above a porcupine beard surrounding an angrily chewed extra-fat stogie, which belched out smoke in an desperate attempt to keep from being tossed into the slimy road.

"What the yell you two doin' hyar? I hope ya wanna stay put 'cause I ain't lifting a finger on my ONE hand for the likes o' y'all!"

Toby was still sore about how we rescued him from the stump. I remained convinced that losing an arm was better'n getting snakebit and dying alone in the swamp. We all wondered what he had been reaching for in a blind stump like that, and Toby wasn't telling. Especially me.

Killdeer

[jmar595]

Don't know if that cottonmouth gave him some kind a wiggy wammy, but he had a different sort of ar' about him now. You would be out in the woods convinced you were alone. Then there he would be, creepy. That kind of wiggy wammy would come in useful on a few occasions I've had out starin down that big buck, tryin not to move or make a sound. Then BAMM. he bolts after he looks right at me.
  "What r ya'll lookin fer," ol' man Toby asks as he bolts me from times past of could be glory.
  "We're lookin for some deer I've been scoutin out around the ridge up ahead," I told him.
  "What's that smell," Toby asks.
  About that time stinky comes around the side cussin more about the coffee and sandich. When Toby seen Stinky he gave me a quick wink and said, "Good luck with that one, yer gonna need to climb the highest tree ya'll can find," as he chuckled, one of the rare times u see this old leather faced man smile.

[The Whittler]

And yur a thinking I hope it's the last time I see Toby smile. I've seen smiles on jack-o-lanterns that looked prettier.

Well I says are you gonna stand there a grinnin or are you gonna pull us back on the road. When out of the wood comes.....

[STOBBER]

Hagatha Ladybeard......totin' a longbow and draggin' a half eaten bobcat carcass. She always has been a little on the strange side. Everybody knows that Toby has real hankerin' to hook up wid that ol' gal. She's been known to out drink , out shoot , out cuss and out hunt any feller to draw a longbow. Her Mammy and Pappy was real notoble round these parts fer buildin' some of the fastest longbows ever shot,    alot of years has passed and bows her Pappy built are few and far between. No wonder everybody wants one.....anyways there she was....sleek..curvy...a real joy to hold and handle.....a seductress if ever they was one. No not Hagatha.... but the bow she was totin'. Hagatha had all the charm of a Boar with a broadhead in his gut with the attitude of a rabid copperheaded rattlemouth snake! She was built like a brickhouse ..literally...wide and solid, kinda square.Still ol toby coveted that gal and a chance to git his hands on her......bow!She was about as purty as that ragged ol' wampus cat she draggin , which brings us back to the problem at hand, how we gonna talk ol' Toby into pullin us out. Especially with Hagatha competetin' fer our our attention. You see...... Stinky was the apple of her eye and Toby knowed it.  I personally dont care , the mornin' is still young and all i want is to git my tail out of the ditch and in the woods asap!

[hit or miss]

And then I said to Hagatha "Nice tooth."  Come to think of it, I don't think that was the best comment I coulda made.

[Voodoofire1]

cause about that time, she laid that ole wampus cat upside mah head and ole stinky started laughing sa hard he let out a burst that sound like a 'chine gun in a railroad car,"I cain't see!,I cain't breath!" somebody stik a kork in him for we all die! but then

[Lon Sharp]

Hagatha Ladybeard took a long, long wiff of ole Stinky and says, "I'za been need'n me a bar bait, anit seem like we gots us one...say Toby, howz bout hepping me git thesin boyz outa da barrow pit?  Jus mite make it wurth yer while"

Well, ole Toby took no time to round up a chain and proceed to yanking on our rig.  As  our battered old truck started to quiver I looked out to see Toby looking back at Hagatha, and Hagatha looking back at Stinky,
and Stinky furiously rubbing at the still steaming coffee stain in the lap of his camo pants.  When she commenced to smiling, I started gettin worried fer all of us.

[STOBBER]

Seems ol Toby was thinkin' that Stinky was a makin' obscene gestures at Hagatha, well...Toby bein' the gentleman type and all ....he proceeded to bar down on Toby wid that chain in his hand. Stinky grabs a holt of the mangled ol' wampus cat and starts whirlin'  it round like he's some sort of Jedi warrior with a lite sabre....cat entrails a gushin' and slushin'...Hagatha at full draw, i duck and hit the briar patch on all fours, but not before i grabbed my ol' bow and quiver. I'm barely out of earshot when i hear my ol dodge fire up and tires squawllin'.....i hear Toby a hollerin' ..."I'M HIT" I figger Stinky musta made a git away wid my truck. Me and Stinky have always had a understandin' that if'n we git separated on a huntin' trip to meet up at ol Mill house down at the south end of the swamp. Well, i aint bout to go back the way i came so's i just head south!

[Jerry Jeffer]

Mean while, Toby is gittn' dragged through the red mud stuck to the back of my rig by Hagatha's arra. Pinned him right through thesleeve of his flannel into the tail gate.

[SuperKodiak38]

Hagatha crooned and wallered like a lost luv sick catahoula...she was scorned now and somebody was gonna pay dearly..

[STOBBER]

The sun was up pretty good by now and the ridge just ahead of the swamp was coming alive with little critters, i jumped two doe's that like to have made me soil my fruit o da looms. My nerves is bout shot after a morning like mine.That's alright , jumpin' them doe's put it all back in focus.While i'm sittin' there gittin' my self together i hear a rustle down the draw , i fall back into the briars and watch as half a dz. young turkeys come filin' past unaware i was even there......if'n only it was turkey season...oh well, they's too young anyway.I caught somthing outta the corner of my eye.......waaaayyyy off in the distance i could see it was my truck taring down the ol' lumber road headed fer our rondevouz at the mill, but that was still a good 3 miles away.......it was hard to see very well through the woods but i could tell it was my truck...what the heck was that draggin' behind it?

[The Whittler]

Why it's that two leged galoot Stinky sitting in a tub singing to high heaven and holding.....

[STOBBER]

But it cant be, could i be seeing things?! Stinky aint never sit in tub, 'cides dat he's the only one that could drive, Hagatha never learnt how, Ol' Toby aint got but one arm since tha snakebite thing happened and my ol' truck is a straight drive 3 speed on the column......shhhhhh! Dangit all here comes Hagatha a messin' up my huntin'...i gotta hide>>>>>.....!!!!

[SuperKodiak38]

Hagatha cut my scent and threw her head back, her wart covered nostrils were flaring as she "read" the air.. suddenly her head turned sharply and she was looking right through me, it was like I wasnt even there...in one smooth motion she nocked and drew an arrow and as it whistled past me I thought...whew! she missed !! then I heard a thwack !! and a low gutteral growl. I slowly turned my head just in time to see what she had been looking / shooting at, dear God it was a....

[Dustin Waters]

It was a bear.  Seems i had been hanging around stinky too long and the poor old bruin thought i was some rotting ole meat left over from one of Hagatha's bait stations.  Its no wonder i jumped them deer they musta smelt me from a mile away.  The bear whirled and took off down the ridge, Hagatha took off hot on his heals figurin she could whoop a bear that had been shot.  Thank god she was going the other direction cause i gotta find out who was drivin my truck and just why ole stinky was taking a bath... Then i stood up and there it was...  The likes of which i had never seen before.......

[Voodoofire1]

Ol' stinky still in the tub as my old truck came sliding to a halt dang ner hittin me, bout that time ol' stinky stood up, holy crap! ol' stinky was a gurl!! and a might pretty one at that,if you didn't look er in the face, bout that time I heared ma truck door open and out popped....

[STOBBER]

My Therapist.....Dr. Phil !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[STOBBER]

WHEW !!!!I was only dreaming , seems i fell asleep. I musta been plumb wore out after runnin' from Hagatha after she shot that bear. Dr Phil....hhhhmmmmppphhh! Oh crap , it's startin' to rain, i better hole up in dat cave over yonder.That's funny , i been huntin' here 14 yrs. and never even heard of a cave....oh well...

[Voodoofire1]

I need the shuteye anyway, an this here cave is the best I got till i find ma truk and make it home agin...........WHA,WHO,HUH,.. .POLECAT!! Shew wee that war a cluse one, but least the sons a shinin this mornin,what a night,I'm stiffer'n 3 bords, now to fand my truk, I'all jist hit the road an look fur tracks......