Thanks again Mudd and everyone else for your prayers.Whatever comes of this i am at peace with it.When i had my hip replacment four years ago,i had complications and was in recovery for 12 hours before i was stable enough to move to the ICU.Durring most of that time i was aware of what was going on in the room and could hear the doctors and nurses talking.At one point one of the doctors told the nurse that had been putting big surenges of meds in my IV to bring my blood pressure up,,that she could stop, that was all that could be done for me.It was not scary at all, in fact it was the most peacefull feeling i have ever felt but i kept thinking, my wife must be really upset by now not getting to come back here.I think it was that one thing, knowing my wife needed me,,that kept me here.Truth is we all know we wont live forever and i have had a full life.I was reading last night in the prayer section of the young man that had a bad home life and his struggles with doughts and growing up.I had a much worse, very abusive childhood so i know how he felt and went through the same doughts about life as he does.My stepdad that raised me was one of the scientists that worked with the nazi doctors of project paper clip.Prolly not many here know what that is but it was a Gov sponsered mind control project.My father sold me into that in a round about way, at the age of 4 years old.Because of the horrors of what i went through with that , and this by my parents who were the ones i should have been able to look up to for protection and security,well life has been anything but fun.In the early 70's there was a investigation into the CIA's involvement in illeagle experiments and the head of the CIA shredded most of the documents and sent most of the scientists into hideing.Thats when my father left Huntsville where he was working with the Germans and we moved to miss and actually joined a mennonite church.So here i was thrown into a deeply relious group, mixed with my fathers former nazi influence clashing together witch really made me question god and religion for years.Way too much to go into here but you get the idea.I have been on disability now for close to 30 years with PTSD and MPD as a result of what was done to me, and partly because of some of the things i saw and was forced to participate in.So when i read things like the young man was writing in the prayer section here, i can really feel for him.That young man is who needs our prayers , not just him but all our youth.These are the important ones that still have their life before them.I know im rambling but one thing i have learned in life that stops the pain of my past is,,When i see others that are in pain,helping, or trying to help them,,makes my pain feel not so bad after all.This all may not seem like it has anything to do with Trad bow hunting, but it does,,when we are in the woods we see reality all around us,,gods creation , not all of mans BS and hurt. Trad bow hunting in its simplicity mixed with nature, reminds or helps to,what is real and good in life.
Thank you all again.
Topic: Bucket list (Read 296 times)
