Share some bad morning hunts

[YORNOC]

As I sit here unable to hunt and awaiting yet another surgery, I am looking back on some hunts of the past. I got a laugh out of this one, hopefully you will too.
Add some of your own, I need a few laughs right now.

Many years ago I was INSANE on scent control. I never scouted unless I had hip boots on, every single article I went in the woods with was put through a rigorous descenting process. I'm talking, if my dog WALKED onto the porch while my clothes were hanging ready to be put in plastic, I would rewash them.
I've since learned to enjoy myself, but anyway:

One morning in the hour before pink light, I stealthily made my way (pretending to be a mouse) to my stand on opening day. The area was decorated with large rubs, and I was incredibly excited to hunt this particular spot. I was soooooo careful while scouting to not enter the hot area, but skirt it, sneak in a treestand and then stay away till this morning.
I earlier cut in a trail so that my legs would only minimally touch the brush in the area, helping to minimize my intrusion.  I got to my tree,climbed up, and settled in to await the sun.
I had on my new King of the Mountain Bun Lite pants and hooded anorak on, a very expensive setup for me. I was psyched to try it.
I was comfortable and it was very quiet. Awesome.

Then something hit me hard. Not an object, but a smell. A bad smell, getting stronger by the second. I took my flashlight out and shined it to my platform.     My nightmare presented itself.    
I stepped in dog crap on the way in. Not normal dog crap, but from an obviously very sick dog.
Both feet!
My platform was covered, and it was all over my boots, not just the bottoms. I was sickened, and had to bail. I was freaking out on how my whole plan and season was trashed in minutes.
I climbed down, and pink light had arrived. The smell lingered everywhere in the hanging mist. As I stood at the bottom of my tree, I glanced at the treestep in front of me covered in the goop. I had forgotten that my steps MUST be covered when I climbed down. I looked at my "NEW" KOM clothing, completely covered in dog slop. My gloves, pants, anorak, bow, catquiver, all had been hit. I was literally a walking pile of dog poo. I hung my head, and slumped back to my truck. Peeled off the bad stuff and drove home in my underwear, still stinking.
I laugh now, but MAN was I ruined that week by that dreaded dog so many years ago.

[ChuckC]

Wow. . . that was a really crappy morning.  :rolleyes:    

Normally we say the stuff hit the fan but obviously, you were in the way of the fan that time.   :D    

Sorry for the day you had, but thank you for sharing and giving me this smile.

Now. . . . enough of this $#!t !  Back to work.


ChuckC  

[ChuckC]

Actually, my neighbor told me a story that happened to him a few years back.  I knew he hated porcupines (porshapines up here)but didn't know why.

Seems he also did the same. .  odor control to the max, even experimenting with a breathing tube to keep his breath scent away from his tree.

Then, in the dark. .  a rustling from above,  some plaintiff cries and a flashlight gets pointed up the tree.  Just in time to see the porky peeing all over him from above.  Being in a small stand, basically tied to the tree, there was no escape.

Dang he hates porshapines.
ChuckC

[Joeabowhunter]

That was hillarious!  I think everyone that has spent a lot of time in the woods has some type of poo story....too embarrassing to share.  

[BOHO]

one of my worst was before the thermacell was invented and I forgot my skeeter dope. I literally got ate up by mosquitoes. Dumb me though stayed cause I wanted to hunt. Thank goodness for the thermacell !!

[Izzy]

That's too funny David. You woulda hated me if I was hunting with you. I would have been laughing for days.

[Gator1]

Speaking of a Crappy morning hunt:

Years ago, I was up a little late, with a date with mr. beam.

About an hour after light, I had to climb down and take care of business.  Crouched over, bow hanging up in the tree 15 feet above me I hear rustling/running through the leaves.  6 Point chases a doe by me at 15 yards, never saw or smelled me...      

[Matthew Bolton]

A buddy of my dads was hunting one morning real late in the season so he was wearing his coveralls. Well nature called so he climbed down to answer it. After he had done the deed he shimmied back up the tree to finish his hunt. After a while he couldn't figure out why he could smell it so far away. As you guys can guess from the theme of this thread he messed his coveralls!! Needless to say that hunt was ended abruptly.

[jeanpaul3006]

 great stories ,keep em coming

[Goshawkin]

This one was duck hunting but keeps with the "crappy" theme,LOL! Me and a friend got to the the boat launch at 'o dark thirty. The corned beef hash we had on the way down wasn't sitting too good with me,so I figured I better hit the head before we got out on the water.The portalet at the ramp was put away for the winter,so I figured I'd  go out under the bridge by the ramp.
I took a mini mag light and went under the bridge.It was real low clearance so I had to bend over and kind of duck walk to get out under it. It was pitch black and about 5 degrees out.I saw a pile of card board with the light and figured I'd do buissness there,then kick the cardboard into the river. Stuck the light in my mouth and started shedding layers of clothes,like I said it was COLD. Got into position just ready to go,when someone yelled "HEY!!!" (almost literally scared the $*** out of me!) I jumped up,slammed my head on a bridge beam,spit the light out into the river and tore out from under there as fast as I could with 3 layers of clothes around my ankles!Couldn't see a thing and cracked my head again on the last bridge beam.My buddy heard the noise and shined our big spot light over on me,while I was standing there in the parking lot,trying to get my underwear back on. I was yelling for him to shut the light off and he was just dieing laughing! Turned out it was a homeless guy sleeping under the bridge and using the cardboard for insulation.When we got back in from hunting I left a sweater and a spare parka we kept in the boat under the bridge.

[Rob W.]

I ran a stick into my eye dragging a deer out one evening. After a trip to the doctor. I had an eye patch, numbing drops and some sort of pain killer.

The weekend was coming and I had a hot stand with acorns dropping and perfect weather. I practiced with one eye and was suprised how well I shot.

Against my wife's wishes I was standing on a hardwood ridge with a climber on my back come Saturday. I climbed up and just before light the deer started moving. Then my stomach started moving. I hadn't ate right for a couple days and the pain pills didn't agree with me.

After the third time up the tree(climbing down was a test in bowel control) the sun was up and I was questioning my sanity. I put in some more eye drops, took a practice shot, a settled in.

Not long after a branch snapped on my bad eye side. I grabbed my bow but couldn't see without turning my head. After awhile I couldn't take it anymore and finally turned to take a look. There was a nice little buck standing there broadside 15 yards away but he already had me pegged. Not sure if it was the time I took to see him or the awful smells in the area but he had enough and was gone in a couple seconds.

No one has ever said I'm not dedicated or very smart.

Bad morning but interesting and I will never forget it.        :D

[Keefer]

This isn't a Bad morning hunt story but it did involve me and one of my adopted daughters while I was watching a hunting video and hope I can post it cause it's a "CRAPPY" story as well   ...
 My wife was out somewhere and I was home "Watching" my newly adopted daughter who spoke very little english due to being adopted from China but could speak and was about 2 to 2 1/2 years old at the time...Well I was "Watching" this hunting show and "WATCHING" her when she came to me and said "Dahdee" I gots Boo Boo on My Handz and arms" and I said "Come here let Daddy kiss it".. Well as I was tuned in on the show I began to kiss her BOO BOO'S and instantly noticed an odor that resembled baby poop on my mustache! As I ran to the mirror and looked I had chocolate poo on my mustache and my little baby girl with her little China slang was trying to imform me she had no BOO BOO but POO POO on her hands and fingers cause she had it all in her diaper and ran her hands in it...Man did I learn a lesson that day cause I couldn't get that smell out of my mustache ...Yeah I know I was watching her alright?  

[Marc B.]

David good thing that KOM is machine washable    

I can only imagine how the homeless guy felt be awakened by that    :eek:

[jeanpaul3006]

Well another crappy story on the way. I was hunting with a buddy who was wearing coveralls with a hood. You can guess it. When nature called, he dropped his coveralls but forgot to adjust the hood. After doing his business , he put on his hood because it was cold. Hunting was done for the day. It took about 5 minutes for me to stop laughing. A hunt to remember.

[ChuckC]

Crapping with hoods should be part of hunter education I think.
ChuckC

[wapiti]

In my younger and more energetic days I would watch turkeys and where they roosted so as to be there 1st light in wait on opening morning. Well I HAD EM! But I needed to get there extra early as some guys from South Dakota were camped not that far away. So I am up at 4 A.M. and the long drive out to get my spring gobbler. Half way there BAMMMM! I ruptured a tire on my old Jeep p/u. OK hurry I think and get this changed there is still time. Got it done and off I go. Get there just as light in the far off sky begins to appear. I crawl through nasty brush and set up in some thick stuff to remain hidden until they drop from there roosts. Well I arrow one and it runs off down the draw. When I get to it the SD hunters have it and have their tag on it. Well I am bummed out so head home. Get to the truck and WTH? I am COVERED in ticks. At least 30. I strip off the clothes and throw em in the back and hope like heck I don;t get stopped or have another flat. It just may be harder to explain that to a cop than my wife.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Nothing like keeping with the theme i guess.... But we were standing on a ridge we had climbed in the dark. There were 3 of us hunting the jungles of the Oregon coast for elk about this time of year.

Well as it turns out we all just about had the same schedule going. Maybe it was a combination of all that grease at breakfast at 3 am, and the forced march we made hitting the ridge before sun up, but nature call in 3 part harmony right as it was turning light.

Of course everyone was too excited about those elk bugling in the canyon below us for modesty. So it was a drop your drawers and do the deed, so we can get going kinda thing. First off i found it rather amusing watching my 300 pound hunting partner trying to balannce himself as he assumed the squatting position, and the other guy who was with us was suppressing a laugh himself as i could hear him snickering. but the funny part was the big guy was wearing camo suspenders.... and his aim couldn't have been better if he was loading a sling shot. Being in a hurry he abruptly stood up and as he stretched those suspenders tight, he literally launched his whole load straight over his shoulder and the fall out was ugly.....Charlie looks around at us and says "Ah Chit man!"  and we both busted up laughing.
up till this point, we had been pretty quite, and still had a chance to remain unheard.

during the course of this very amusing but pretty gross activity i still was in the same position that Charlie was myself, but hadn't taken care of the paper work yet.....and... i had forgotten to take off my trigger release.....   :eek:    :eek:    :eek:   THAT is when it got real noisy.. I jumped up saying "What in the sam heel?" and looked at what i had done.... Now the laughter from my hunting partners rolled down the canyon walls in a full bellow.... Two out of 3 of us were not only unfit scent wise to hunt, those elk heard us a mile away....

I never used a release aid again without thinking about that...   :rolleyes:

[pauljr]

When I was 16 years old my Dad, 2 brothers and I were hunting. Dad had me drop my youngest brother of at a stand on my way to mine with the instruction to pick him up on my way back. Well after an uneventfull morning Im on my way back and all I can smell is you know what. The closer I got the worse it was, when I got to my brother I said "what did you do". He says he went in his pants cause he didnt want the deer to smell it! Well I flipped out on him cusssing him the whole way back to Dad. I thought Dad was gonna kill him! So after Dad flips out he says tells me to take him home and then come back. So I said there was no way he was getting in the truck with me, so I made him ride home in the open bed of the truck in Novemeber! I was so mad at him and even today I bring it up every chance I get!

[Jake Diebolt]

The first weekend of the bow season on manitoulin, I'm driving to my hunting area, totally psyched to get into my tree stand. I decided to avoid the shortcut I would normally take becauase the road is windy and it would be harder to see any deer that jumped out.

So I took the long way around. And then, right before I reached where the end of the shortcut came back onto the main road...I slammed into a deer, and wrecked the front quarter of my car.

Thankfully some nice people stopped to help me. They had access to a walk in cooler so I let them take the deer so they could salvage what was left. Then my car and I limped back home, hoping there was nothing too badly wrong with it.

Then it was in the shop for two weeks, so I missed a third of my hunting season.

I don't know if that counts as a bad morning hunt, because I never really made it in!

[SKITCH]

Originally posted by Jake Diebolt:
The first weekend of the bow season on manitoulin, I'm driving to my hunting area, totally psyched to get into my tree stand. I decided to avoid the shortcut I would normally take becauase the road is windy and it would be harder to see any deer that jumped out.

So I took the long way around. And then, right before I reached where the end of the shortcut came back onto the main road...I slammed into a deer, and wrecked the front quarter of my car.

Thankfully some nice people stopped to help me. They had access to a walk in cooler so I let them take the deer so they could salvage what was left. Then my car and I limped back home, hoping there was nothing too badly wrong with it.

Then it was in the shop for two weeks, so I missed a third of my hunting season.

I don't know if that counts as a bad morning hunt, because I never really made it in!

Technically I guess that would be a successul day of hunting!!  Also, does that one count against your limit???   :D