So. It was a beautiful day in the 'Root. That's what we Bitterrooters call the Bitterroot Valley of Western Montana. Of course you wouldn't know it because the wildfires have created a layer of smoke so thick that a drag off a Camel no-filter would seem refreshing. I was fortunate enough to have some free time on Monday, so I hit one of my elk haunts to do some mid August scouting.
It was hot and dry, but I was enjoying my time doing a little stump shooting. Up to this point, I had been stingy with my shots due to a new setup. You see, I am what some people might refer to as fiscally conservative. Other people would say I'm a cheap SOB. But I splurged and went for the fancy arrows. I've always shot XX75's at $50/dozen and never worried about bending them or destroying them. I must say, though, that marketing got the best of me and I set myself up with a dozen Beman MFX Classics. Weight tubes. Wraps and pretty feathers that even matched. They looked great. Then I said, Shoot! I might as well try some new blunts. These arrows were way to fancy for the .38 special blunts that I have en mass in my broadhead box! So I scraped together some cash and bought the G5 Small Game Heads. A fancy blunt for a Fancy Arrow! Needless to say, these arrows are now running about $20 a piece.
So back to the woods. For some reason, I always pick out little saplings and fire away. I guess I feel like the small diameter is a worthy target. I'm now moving through some beautiful open timber and come upon a perfect shooting lane leading to an unsuspecting lodgepole sapling. I put a stealth move on the sapling and let one fly. I watch helplessly as my $20 arrow hooks a paper thin branch and accelerates straight up - where the fancy G5 SGH sticks into the bark of a larger lodgepole.
I literally did not breath. I was sure that whatever amazingly bad karma that caused my $20 arrow to be stuck 60 feet up in a lodgepole pine was going to, in turn, bring the tree down on my head. No. There were bigger things at work here. This was to become a test of just how stupid I am.
I immediately set to work trying to throw things at the arrow to dislodge it. It was beyond the range of my formerly great throwing arm, so I thought really hard about how to get the arrow down. Ding! The light went on and I new I had a winner. I could shoot another arrow into the tree and knock the other one free. Listen, though. I'm smarter than you think. I was only going to draw about 1/3 full to avoid sending my arrow into outer space.
I draw back about 1/3 draw and hold it quivering as I try to aim. I let fly and my second arrow sticks directly in the bark just below the other arrow alsmost as if someone new I was going to be doing this and prepared by putting tar paper around the tree. My mind was blown.
I put my bow down and tried feverishly to shimmy up the tree. This tree has no branches for about 40 feet so I'm really struggling. Bark's coming down into my eyes, the muscles have fully detatched from my scapulas, it's getting hairy. So I slide down, defeated. Defeated yet enraged that I can't even climb a tree. So I pick up my bow, nock an arrow and come to 1/3 draw. As I release I remember thinkng "You are an idiot."
That's right. I now have three arrows stuck in the tree. I tucked my tail between my legs. I accepted that some things are beyond my control. I went home. I walked three miles back to my truck staring at my quiver, which only has one arrow left. And, let me tell you. Nothing is as lonely as a quiver with only one arrow.
Hope you enjoy my lack of common sense. And the bow is one of Ernie McKenzie's (hornseeker) Sapphire Hawk longbows. Juniper veneers with cocobolo and bacote handle. 59@28. Smooth and sweet.
Topic: Tales of Stupidity from Western Montana (Read 1250 times)
