son lost interest

[longbowman]

Jim,  Been through that at exactly the same age.  At 14 my son finally told me he really didn't care for hunting.  He had seen tons of deer his first two years but never connected.  It was a hard pill to swallow but I kept hunting and fortunately, he saw me bring home a couple of nice deer and over the winter thought about it and came back with a vengance but 100% on his own with no further encouragement from me.  If he asked I told and eventually he was with me again and now at the age of 29 he's taken 14 deer and two are the biggest buck we've taken between the two of us.  He's now taching his son how to hunt and shoot.  Life seems to come full circle.  However, even if he doesn't come back to it just think about your son and how lucky you are to have one and it kinda puts hunting in the proper place in the whole scheme of life.

[Drew]

As said before don't push, but certainly provide the opportunity for the activity.  My dad and family pushed and forced me to hunt, and I gave it up for a few years totally but I came back around.  

If it's in his heart he'll come back to it.

[Tom Leemans]

Computers for a 14 y.o. boy are like having a teen line on your phone these days, not to mention online "live" gaming. He'll snap out of it eventually.

[Roger Norris]

He's still pretty young...all is not lost. Remember a couple of things (my boys are 19 and 16, so I have been down your trail)

1. Your relationship with your son is more important than hunting. He knows you love to hunt. What does he love? I go to lots of NBA games with my oldest son. I HATE the NBA. We golf a lot. I suck at golf, but it's fun sharing something he's good at. I love hanging out with my son.

2. 14... He needs constant stimulation at that age. I rediscovered small game hunting because of my boys. Chasing rabbits is more fun to a 14 year old than sitting for deer. Compare it to fishing; do you teach a kid to fish with a swarm of bluegills or by cruising the Musky reef for hours on end?

3. I NEVER make hunting something we HAVE to do. I never make it a chore. Things come up in a teenagers life...girlfriends, cars, stereos, the prom...give him some rope. Eventually he will come back around to The Old Man.

My oldest doesn't hunt much. He does it out of a sense of being with me, which is fine. My 16 year old hunts pretty often, but we have succesfully worked it in around football, lacrosse, girls, a job, etc. It's working. Sunday night he killed a nice 6 pointer in Michigans youth hunt. Last night, his girlfriend hung out in the kitchen while we finished butchering his deer. Probably the oddest "date" she ever had.

It works out, but remember point #1...your relationship with your boy is waaaay more important than hunting.

[Herdbull]

I have experienced the same thing. If not boredom there will be another excuse. I put my kids in stands where they will for sure see deer. They always come back all excited and tell their mother great stories. A switch kicks off and for some reason and they might not want to go. My oldest son (23) works a lot and the middle son (18) is in college now, but they always save the Thanksgiving weekend to hunt with me. Ha! Good times.
 We understand. Just don’t let it get to you. It is no refection on you, just your kids exercising God’s gift of free choice.

[John Scifres]

Take that kid out with a shotgun and shoot something.  Bowhunting is really hard.  Sitting in a stand all day long is really hard.  Make it easier.  It can still be harder than sitting in front of a computer.  Oh yeah, buy him the license and put the same amount in the computer fund.  No choice, no excuse.  Keep them in the field by whatever means possible.

[Jim now in Kentucky]

Already there with most of the advice. We have a good relationship and I won't push him to hunt.

He did get shots at deer on two occasions--clean misses.

We have fished, but mostly as a part of camping, which he likes.

He likes to write fantasy, and I advise him in that (I am a newspaper editor).

We also do a little woodworking from time to time and talk often about lots of things. As I said, we both take karate. We have both passed the first belt test, but he started sooner and passed it sooner, so it's a good deal that he can be ahead of me in something. He will make much better progress in that than I will, because he is 44 years younger and much more flexible!

No worry about losing his love, just going through a low spot with hunting.

If he never comes back to hunting, that's OK. I'm pleased with and proud of him.

(My older son got interested in hunting with me before I returned to archery, so he's a gun guy.)

Jim

[George Tsoukalas]

Jim, I hear ya. Hunting is a vehicle to spend time with your son. Perhaps some day he come back to it. If not, then you may want to get into compute games with him. He is a fine young man. Best you both. jawge

[Deerhntr]

Jim,
  Your story mirrors mine to a tee, but my 14 year old is into dirtbikes and riding with his buds more than huntin and fishin with the Ol man. He's a great kid and that is the most important part anyway. I think, like some have said, that his intrest will return as he gets older. Try not to push to hard and I'm sure that your son and the Ol man will be creating memories of the fun days in the woods before you know it.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Originally posted by Pete W:
He told you the problem. Sitting in a stand all day.
 Let him walk.

Pete

I agree

[John D]

Jim,

Something my dad did for me along time ago. When I was a teenager and started to loose a little interest in hunting, dad asked if I had a friend who would be interested in hunting. he helped one of my best friends to start hunting, my friends family did not hunt, so he was gung ho to give it a try. Grant you their were probably times dad wished he didn't, he did not have to much time for himself. But the bottom line is he kept my interest. Too this very day my friend still tells me he will never forget my dad for teaching him to hunt. That was a long time ago, dad is gone now, my friend and I still hunt together and dad is with us in our hearts every time we hit the woods. Everything will work out just fine, it sounds like the boy has a good dad.

Good Luck and Good Hunting

John

[woodchucker]

WOW!!!!! Boy does this bring back memories!!!!!

Jim My Friend, I know EXACTLY what you are going through and how you're feeling!!!!!

It was last year about this time I started a thread "What do you do when you loose them".....

I got ALOT of good advice,condolances and compassion, and ALOT of support from good friends who really care and also know just how I felt. Many of my friends with older sons had been down my road before.....Did it make me feel any better????? Not really.....But it did help me understand that this is a perfectly natural thing,and it made me feel that I was not alone.

Last year, I asked Kevin if he planned on going Deer hunting with me....."If I get a chance" he said.....I told him I would buy his license,and he would have a chance every time I went.(I would tell him I was going,and ask him if he wanted to come along.....of course he was always "busy" though)

Personaly, I think Kevin thinks Deer hunting is "boreing" However.....2 years ago I took him with me to Shawn Leonard's "Bunny Hunt".....We had the time of our lives!!!!!! David Kretchmar (Hunterdfk) took a picture of Kevin and I with our bows and it is one of my most prized posessions!!!!! Last year when Feb. came around he was excited as if Christmas was coming,just waiting for the "Bunny Hunt".....Good Friends,and Food,Lots of Shooting and Fun,and an all out GREAT TIME!!!!! and THAT is just what he likes!!!!!

All I can offer is this My Friend.....Buy his license,and ask him to come along.If he says No.....respect his decision,and go by yourself.

Also Jim, you have your whole life to Deer hunt.....How about inviteing him on a Stump & Squirrel combo hunt.....It just might be "fun" enough to make him want to go again,and if he does,I'm sure you wouldn't trade those Stump & Squirrel hunts with him,for any other "hunt" in the world.

We are always here to listen.....sometimes we even give some good advice.....

Good Luck My Friend.....Please keep us posted.....

May The Great Spirit Guide Your Arrows

[Black Gold]

At that age image is everything....trying to fit in, girls, school...tons of stuff that take presidence over hunting....Like many have said, just keep your passion going and sharing it with him through stories and pics and once he get's past the point of trying to fit a mold he will be able to be himself and more than likely come back to what his roots are.

[MrBadExample]

Jim,

Your son is fortunate for you have established a solid foundation upon which he can then come back later in time and build upon.  At that age there are many distractions but they will also likely become "boring" to him in time.  Later, after he has had the opportunity to experience other things he may renew his interest in hunting but for now enjoy your time together with other mutual interests.  My father didn't hunt and it wasn't until several years ago that my interest in hunting was sparked by a friend.  Encourage him to participate in as many activities as he desires.  After he has had an chance to do many different things he will sort out for himself what he really wants to do.  You can't force his interest, you can only foster it.  As someone stated in a previous post, try small game hunting, hunting from the ground, or maybe even a father/son hunting trip to keep the interest alive in the meantime.

[Plywood Bender-laptop]

Jim-

My son is 15. He hasn't been bow hunting with me yet.  (he did sit in a blind when he was younger)

But, what got the fire going for him was to take him with me to deer camp in WI for gun season.  I have been going for almost 15years and he was surprised when he was invited.  He shot a small doe within 15 minutes of first light.  Although I told him never to expect to be that lucky again, he wants to go bowhunting this fall.

Of course, he has to wait for soccer to be over.

The part of your story that kills me is that he is karate with you.  I teach karate and have trained for 30 years, and I can't get him interested at all.

Soon it will be girls and cars.  That's where my dad lost me until after college.

Good Luck,

Carl

[hill boy]

As long as his other intrest are healthy everything else is ok.There is a lot of bad stuff out there.I remember being preoccupied about that age and it wasn't computers.You know women do make an impact at that age.  :D  I bet he will go with you some this year when he isn't dating girles.Good luck

[Roger Norris]

Nothing keeps them hooked like success!!!! My son Danny killed this 6 point on Sunday.


 

[alpinehunter]

Just curious..I have a 6 year old, that is over the edge nuts about shooting his bow,BB gun, and .22...I take him on some dove hunts and bow hunts, and it seems like he can't get enough.His whole play routine revolves around hunting.  Curious to know if these 13-15 yr. olds were the same way and then other stuff started to come into the scene like girls/computers/etc...? just wondering..if it can happen to me?  thx.

[TSHOOTER]

Jim,  It's possible that your son is at a different place in his hunting life than you are.  It sounds like he may be disenchanted by the time spent on stand versus the opportunity to kill a deer.  Heck, sometimes I can't sit very long either and I'm nearly 3 times his age.  Has he ever killed a deer?  Does he have to kill a deer with a bow?  Hope it works out for you both.

[NDTerminator]

I might add this.  I NEVER lost my desire to be outdoors and hunt, it was my Dad I couldn't get to go out.  To busy with business and such.  He didn't start hunting with me much till I was in my late 20's, then died a few years later...