Excuses/Permission Slip Needed

[John Scifres]

I need some help folks.  It finally got cool here in Central IN.  I need to go hunting.  The fix is that I have way TOOOOO much to do this weekend.  I have to be up at 6:00 am Saturday for my son's last football game of the season.  It should last until 9:00 or so.  Then my 2 older kids and I need to sight in our shotguns for the upcoming season at a range 45 minutes away.  My son then has his football end-of-season picnic at 2:00.  

His birthday is next week and we are having a party on Sunday at 2:00 after doing Sunday school and church all morning until 12:00 or so.  Then I have a meeting at church at 6:30 Sunday evening.  My wife  is leaving on her annual Fall trip with the ladies next weekend and then I have a 5 day hunting trip scheduled the weekend after.  Then just about every weekend in November, I am hunting.  I haven't cut my grass in 2 weeks and the garage is cluttered so that she can't get the car in there.

I just wanted to give you the background.  I know none of those are good enough reasons for me to forgo a hunting trip on Saturday evening.  And, I do wear the pants in the family [when my wife lets me] and I am in charge [when she's not around] but help me out here.

Her name is Kris, if it's a friendly type note, or Kristin if it's more formal (like from a doctor or some other professional).  So please, feel free to post some excuses or permission slips and I'll use them.

Thanks for helping a brother out.

[vermonster13]

Dear Kristin,

John needs to be allowed some hunting time this weekend. I fear for his mental health and general well being due to the stress and pace of his current commitments. Without some down time in the woods I believe he will soon be bed ridden and in need of antidepressants. All the stress is also adversely affecting his heart.

So I am prescribing at least one evening hunt this weekend for his general well being. If you have any questions please call my office and ask for Mickey Lotz.

Sincerely your's in good health,
Dr. Vman

PS: If he doesn't survive the weekend please forward all of his archery tackle to me.

[TexMex]

Mrs. Scifres,

After examming your Mr Scifres our diagnosis shows stress is reaching dangerous levels and needs some time off.  The best stress  reliever we have found to work on extreme levels of stress is at least a weekend in the woods with a bow in hand.

Therefore this is his Prescription and needs to be filled right away.

Sincerely
Dr. Won

[pseman]

Dear Kristin,

Do you remeber that new diamond ring, or was it a trip to Hawaii, or a new car??? I can't remeber exactly, but John told me that if you'll let him go hunting on Saturday, then it/they are yours. Honest, he did. So go ahead, have mercy on him and give him the afternoon off. It's the decent thing to do.

Sincerely,

Former friend of John

Mark

[GR]

Good idea, John. I going to work on a form that we all can use. Maybe some type of a fill in blanks form to cover all bases. But with all the talent here someone may beat me to it.

[wapiti792]

Dear Kristin,

Your husband is needed for a national security mission. It is up to him to save the world from certain chaos. It will entail a certain amount of stealth, cunning, and just plain determination to accomplish this mission. Please allow him to do this: not for himself but for the health of the whole free world.

If you need further information about this mission give me a call at the ranch 1800lovtexas. I'll be doing some bass fishin' and quail huntin' but Dick will know where to find me. This messege will self destruct in 5 seconds.

The Big Chief

[Jeff Strubberg]

I hear you, John.  We are managing the end of volleyball season and band marching season at the moment.  Hard to get out and hunt when you are only home two nights a week!

I'm gritting my teeth for the next ten days.  This cooldown isn't helping things, though.

[eagle24]

Originally posted by pseman:
Dear Kristin,

Do you remeber that new diamond ring, or was it a trip to Hawaii, or a new car??? I can't remeber exactly, but John told me that if you'll let him go hunting on Saturday, then it/they are yours. Honest, he did. So go ahead, have mercy on him and give him the afternoon off. It's the decent thing to do.

Sincerely,

Former friend of John

Mark

On second thought, I may want to back out on my offer for you to come to my house Mark.  

[Molson]

Dear Kris,

October is finally here!!  At last, the alone time you've been waiting for has arrived.  Cozy up to that good book or watch that romantic comedy. Sit down with a tub of your favorite ice cream.  

Most wives forget they married a bowhunter, wasting their emotions on contempt, anger, and frustration at the four month loss of their significant other.  But not you!  You see it for the gift it is.  So get on being the envy of all your friends.  It's your time now!!


(If that doesn't work just call off sick from work on Friday and hunt all day.)

[eagle24]

John, don't listen to them!  That mushy sweet stuff will never work!  Here's how to do it.

Kris,

I'm the man of the house, and I'm going hunting Saturday!  While I'm gone, you need to wash all my other hunting gear (and please use the scent away soap this time!) and clean the mud from my rubber boots in the garage.  Never know, I may not have time before my next trip.  Also, I should be home about an hour after dark and would like you to have me a hot meal waiting.    If I'm later than an hour after dark, please put on some old clothes because you will probably have some skinning to do.  I still expect the hot dinner to be ready though.

see you when I see you, John

that should get you much more free time for future hunts.

[vermonster13]

Originally posted by eagle24:
John, don't listen to them!  That mushy sweet stuff will never work!  Here's how to do it.

Kris,

I'm the man of the house, and I'm going hunting Saturday!  While I'm gone, you need to wash all my other hunting gear (and please use the scent away soap this time!) and clean the mud from my rubber boots in the garage.  Never know, I may not have time before my next trip.  Also, I should be home about an hour after dark and would like you to have me a hot meal waiting.    If I'm later than an hour after dark, please put on some old clothes because you will probably have some skinning to do.  I still expect the hot dinner to be ready though.

see you when I see you, John

that should get you much more free time for future hunts.

If you use this one John, be sure the Mrs. sees my note about forwarding your gear onto me.    

[Hogtamer]

John,

In all seriousness, those kids will be gone before you know it....enjoy every minute of it.

[the Ferret]

My dearest Kris, they say tension and too much work makes a mans hair fall out. Look at your husband and tell me does he honestly need to work and worry any more?

There you go john, that ought to do it.  

[SOS]

Dear Kris,

My wife won't let me back in the house until the freezer is full.  John's just trying to feed the family (and feed his soul).  Please, please, please let him come out and play!  

[robtattoo]

'Dear Kris.

My name is Lily. I run a small, friendly 'boarding' house for young women. We all really enjoy the frequent visits of your dear Brother, John. He always puts a smile on the face of one or more of my Girls. Unfortunately (I'm sure it's purely an oversight on John's part) his last payment to us was refused by the bank. He listed you, his Sister, as guarantor for his line of credit with my establishment. Could you possibly deposit the unpaid sum of $358.59 into my business account (John has the details) at your earliest convenience.

Kindest regards,

Miss Lilly.

p.s. Your dear, dear Brother speaks so highly of you, I would love to have you over for evening tea one day soon!'


That should guarentee you'll be out of the house by the weekend!  :D  :D  :D

[Ted Fry]

John , best to ask forgivness rather than permision.

[Shaun]

Kris

pay no attention to these slackers! Your husband has responsibilities and he knows it. Keep his nose to the grindstone and double check all his work for completion.

Than dang deer season runs for months! He can do all the hunting he wants once the grass in mowed, trash is taken out and all kids' sporting events have been properly attended.

PS. None of this applies during the RUT (a period of several days which cycles in every 28 days during Oct, Nov & Dec) for exact dates of the RUT in your area ask your husband.

[B.O.D.]

Kris,

           I can report that John will have "vision problems" on Saturday...He just can't SEE himself cutting the lawn that day!    

BD

[John Scifres]

Wow, you guys are good.  Get this, I know my wife so well     She stresses a bit about any gathering we host.  Last night I get home and there is her "to do" list on the kitchen counter.  Not a "honey do"  list, just her own, left in the open accidentally I'm sure.  Of course, "cut grass" is on there and scheduled for Saturday.  I was smart enough to surprise her last night and mow the lawn before she go tback from a couple errands.  The garage isn't on the list but I'm still gonna do it tonight.  After that, the only things left are house cleaning which is mostly the kid's responsibility.  I got the laundry started and we'll finish it tonight too.  This, and your clever messages above, might just work.  I'll keep you posted.

For the record, I won't miss James' game and the family comes before hunting all the time.  I'm just glad that a couple of them can hunt now     A couple more years and they'll be bowhunting.

[DCM]

John,

Looking back to last year, I hunted the opening Saturday morning (last Sat. in Sept).  Wife left for New Orleans to be w/ her parents.  Her dad had surgery and after about a week it turned bad, almost the worst kind of bad.  They just barely made it home by Thanksgiving day.  I took my 12 yo dotter out 1 morning w/ the muzzleloader during that time.  Arrange your life as best you can, make best use of what time you do have, and count your blessings.  After 6, 7 weeks of Mr. Mom, I have a whole new 'pretiation for what wimmins do.